Entries Tagged as 'New York'

Coffee, mate?

April 7th, 2010 · 72 Comments

So, you don’t want to share your super-special non-dairy creamer/handsoap with the rest of the office?

You could go for the semi-direct approach…

Not Community Property

But as Ocie in Petaluma, California witnessed, that might not be enough of a deterrent.

To the person or persons who continue to consume my Coffee-Mate coffee creamer in spite of my name being clearly marked on the container: PLEASE STOP!!!!

In that case, you could try to dial up the crazy a little more, like Nicole in Florida…

Dear Coffee Creamer Thief,  What part of DO NOT TOUCH don't you understand? This is NOT your creamer and I know you didn't ask me if you could have some. Get your own coffee creamer! >:( Querido Ladron de Crema! Que parte de NO TOCAR no entiende? Esta no es su crema y yo seque usted no me pregunto si podia tomasla. Compre tu propia crema para cafe!

Or you just might have to get a little bit creative.

BREAST MILK. Drink at your own risk. : /

URINE sample for my parole officer. Don't Touch.

“Truth be told,” says Mick in McLean, Virginia, “I never did check to see what was in the container.” (Which I guess was kinda the point, right?)

related: I, who should seriously lay off the caffeine

Tags: California · coffee · New York · Northern Virginia · office fridge · Orlando · piss · stealing · Texas

Funny money

March 23rd, 2010 · 109 Comments

This first note, spotted by Nick, is from a school in New Jersey; the second, from DeAnna and Shawn, was taken at a school in Stony Brook, New York. Apart from those details… not really all that different, eh?

(I don’t think Monopoly-land has universal health care, though.)

THIS was stuck in the machine! Use real money and you'll get a real Drink! Use play money and everybody Gets NOTHING! Ms Joanne

Canadian $ is NOT real $

Love you, Canada! And your loonies, too.

related: putting 50 pennies in here is a hostile act

Tags: beverages · Canada · money · New Jersey · New York

Is this chicken, what just hit me in the head, or is this fish?

March 12th, 2010 · 64 Comments

This week’s “WTF? Friday” contribution comes from Carey in Brooklyn, who spotted this warning taped to a telephone pole at a busy intersection in Long Island City, Queens. “I looked around carefully,” Carey says, “but there were no flying missiles to be seen.”

WARNING: Cans of tuna fish are being thrown out of windows on this corner. This is not a joke. Cans of tuna fish are being thrown out of windows on this corner. This is not a joke. A can of tuna fish was launched at a friend and I as we stood on the corner of 47th Avenue and 11th Street. Be careful you don't get hit in the head by one of these mysteriously flying cans! The culprit is a little coward, so keep your eyes open.

related: Passive-allergic

Tags: New York · Queens · visual aids · warning · WTF?

Counter attack

February 25th, 2010 · 196 Comments

“Personally, I think all places should post this sign,” says Molly in Los Angeles.

We cordially ask that you...  Refrain from Call Phone Use At the Counter and Register  It's not that we don't appreciate your busy schedules, it's just nauseatingly rude and makes us feel less than human.  Thank You! -the people on the other side of the counter.

These days, it appears a lot of cash register-operators agree with Molly (and the fancy shop in Studio City where she buys her cheese).

To wit: exhibit a, from Betsey in Sumter, S.C.

Counter attack

Exhibit b) spotted by Otto at a sandwich shop in Frisco, Colorado

I wold love to take your order, As soon as you get off your Phone. -Thanx!!!

And so on and so forth.

But I’d like to draw your attention to this piece,  spotted by Jenna at a Pathmark pharmacy in Bayshore, New York, as a true masterpiece of the genre. With just a few carefully crafted words, it transforms this common sentiment into the ultimate in shame-inducing passive-aggression.

We promise...we won't interrupt you while you are on the phone. That would be rude of us.

related: Top five musical crimes perpetrated by record store customers in the 90s and 2000s

Tags: "customer service" · actually totally reasonable · California · cell phone · Colorado · etiquette · most popular notes of 2010 · New York · oh snap · South Carolina

Totally fried green tomatoes

September 9th, 2009 · 94 Comments

Shannon in New York saw this note posted on the fence of the nearby community garden while she and her roommate were taking her dog for a walk for. The thought of a little old lady glued to her binoculars at 4 in the morning, this had them laughing for many prepositional phrases of time.

if you have a key, the return for that key will be ask for

related: the right to bear fruit

Tags: CAPS LOCK · Clearly a non-native English speaker · excessive underlining · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · New York · spelling and grammar police · stealing · WTF?

Okay, now you’re just screwing with me

August 5th, 2009 · 129 Comments

This is one of those notes I’ve spent far too long puzzling over. The frustratingly random capitalization, the misuse of/missing punctuation, the center justification, and of course, THE BOX. WHY THE BOX?

Who Broke the 8th commandment. My 2 Baby Ruth Candy Bars are missing

Sir/ma’am, I will gladly supply you with as many Baby Ruths as you can stuff down your gullet if you can reconstruct the thought process that led to this note.

related: and yet…the pink flowers?

Tags: candy · God · irregular capitalization · New York · office · stealing · WTF? · You call that punctuation?

More crooked chiropractors

July 23rd, 2009 · 109 Comments

My favorite part of this landlord-chiropractor dispute in Brooklyn is the (professionally printed?) “tenant snuck out over the weekend” sign. How long has this landlord had that one in reserve?

TENANT SNUCK OUT OVER WEEKEND

Meanwhile, Dan in Dallas received this direct-mail don’t from a doc he’s dubbed “Dmitri the chiropractor.”

spinal manipulation

related: spinal manipulation

Tags: Brooklyn · Dallas/Fort Worth · landlords and property managers · message to all intended for one

Repestect yourself

June 29th, 2009 · 159 Comments

Presenting the winner of the creative spelling (and spacing) of the year award, spotted by Rob in the recently-painted elevator of his Brooklyn apartment building. It has a lovely lyric quality to it, no?

If you like to do graphity, dont do it. Pull your pants down and graphity your ass. Repestect this building and if you dont repect it do it in your own building. This is not Prospect Park. This building is being recorded 24/7 and if your taped, you will go to jail. Do not right back on this paper knock on Apt 2B if you don't like this message. -Management

related: Your are welcome to our home

Tags: bizarro spacing · Brooklyn · CAPS LOCK · elevator · graffiti · landlords and property managers · most popular notes of 2009 · now that's management · runaway run-on sentences · spelling and grammar police · the po-po · your/you're

When Internet memes go wrong IRL

June 24th, 2009 · 115 Comments

Spotted by Ressa’s brother during his travels through America…

(This is one of those where the passive-aggressive part isn’t the note itself.)

Please do you not put anything on my cat anymore! Shadow is a little black short-haired cat. Someone keeps tying green plastic around his neck! He will only remove it later! We have put several collars on Shadow, but he loses them. And I do not want him to get caught on something and not be able to get himself free. Shadow lives at 14 Darrell Place. He's really friendly and won't hurt you, so please be nice to him! Thanks

related: Passive-allergic

extra credit: stuffonmycat.com

Tags: actually totally reasonable · cats · neighbors · New York

Blowing smoke

May 28th, 2009 · 342 Comments

There’s a guilt trip…

Hello Kancer!

And then there’s a guilt trip.

Your barbecue = 9/11

related: Your hamster died? Well, I can top that.

Tags: guilt trip · New York · nice stationery · Oakland · odor · thanks (but not really)