PassiveAggressiveNotes.com » nice stationery

Sometimes I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion

Kerry — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 00:35:17 +0000

Welcome to the set of Mean Girls: Orlando!

The initial note:

And the response…

Dear couchsurfer: here’s a clue you might have overstayed your welcome

Kerry — Wed, 03 Aug 2011 21:54:20 +0000

From Austin, Texas: a last-ditch attempt to get rid of a houseguest who took “Mi casa es su casa” a bit too literally…

related: Couchsurfing Greg gets pissed

Short fuses over shorted fuses

Kerry — Fri, 15 Jul 2011 02:37:41 +0000

Well, here’s another one to file under I didn’t even know that was a thing.

Explains our submitter in Chicago: “We live in a VERY old building with a lot of electrical problems. Apparently, one of the tenants is blowing fuses daily and switching their blown fuses out with other units’ working ones. Crazy.”

I love you, you’re perfect, now leave

Kerry — Tue, 01 Mar 2011 00:52:58 +0000

Writes an anonymous roommate in Virginia: “Apparently living with me and my roommates is so terrible that after leaving the house, this girl felt the need to advise [my other] ‘rooms’ to stay at her boyfriend’s house and not with us.” Adds our (not-at-all bitter) submitter: “The only batteries she needs to recharge are the ones that go in her vibrator.”

Sorry for the re-stealing

Kerry — Fri, 15 Oct 2010 03:33:07 +0000

Yup, says submitter Jeff in D.C., “that is the broken bike lock on top of the note.”

I’m imagining this notewriter totally whaling on that lock, rejoicing in triumph as the kidnapped bike is freed, and then, in a parting act of contrition, whipping out the Yorkie stationery, and I think the only thing more amusing would be if the cops showed up at precisely that moment.

Fetch. Roll over. DON’T SIT.

Kerry — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 03:24:13 +0000

Amanda in Charlestown, Mass. lives in a three-story home with an apartment on each floor and a shared patio out back. “Our downstairs neighbor is notorious for leaving us notes — ‘Don’t slam the door,’ ‘The patio is not a storage area,’ etc. — but this note topped them all,” Amanda says. ”Oh, and she clearly cannot spell.”

Sibling rivalry: the rift that keeps on giving

Kerry — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 23:10:16 +0000

Catie in Indianapolis was over at the house of her boyfriend’s family’s house when she spied this adorable-looking note on the fridge. Upon further investigation, she learned it was written by her boyfriend’s 7-year-old niece as a gift to her grandparents. Adds Catie: “I saw these girls in action over the weekend, and I think the fourth line actually overstates her feelings for her sisters.”

I only hope the kid’s family holds on to her note until she’s old enough to be embarrassed/amused by her young self. As it happens, Sarah in Waco, Texas recently had the opportunity to do just that.

While cleaning out boxes after her grandmother passed away, she stumbled upon a thank you note she had written to her grandparents years earlier. (“In my defense,” Sarah says, “my brother never did write his own thank you note.”)

My bite is worse than your bark

Kerry — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 00:14:49 +0000

Although she’s embarrassed to admit it now, Kristi in Portland confesses that when she wrote this letter, at age 14, she felt oh-so-very-grown-up.

In retrospect, she says, the most ridiculous part — besides the charmingly pretentious tone throughout — is probably the self-made letterhead. “I guess I thought the frog made for a good personal logo or something,” Kristi says. ”To my credit, I didn’t send the letter anonymously…I included my full name (first, middle and last), my address, my phone number AND my e-mail address. I only left off my Social Security number!”

Adds Kristi: “My parents still live next door to these neighbors, and I avoid them to this day! Oh, and yes, they did try to keep their dogs indoors more after I sent the letter.”

related: Your to lazy

The “Next to Marry” List

Kerry — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 02:17:42 +0000

Scix in Salt Lake City, Utah found this Valentine tucked into a book at a local thrift store run by the Mormon Church. “The idea of using any edition of The Rules to get your kids married is kind of scary,” he says, but imagining the sweet, naive Mormon mom behind it (doing EVERYTHING IN HER POWER) makes it kind of cute…if a bit absurd.

Your girlfriend is frightening the kittens

Kerry — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 15:27:47 +0000

P.J. in Huntington, New York says his girlfriend found this note on the stairs “the morning after she came over dressed like a school girl.”

Meanwhile, P.J. leaves several questions unanswered in his explanation, among them…So, why did your your girlfriend come over to Mom’s house dressed like Britney circa 1998? How old is this girlfriend, relative to the age of a) an actual school girl and b) yourself? Is your mother, in fact, a cat?

Moral of the story: When dressing to impress, show your respect for Mom’s taste by dressing like something out a good porn movie. (I mean, Lauren, really, sexy school girl? So trite!)

related: (you know the book)

Iron-ic Chef America

Kerry — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 13:30:47 +0000

Writes our anonymous submitter: “I own a restaurant, and the writer of the note is a college student who has worked for me for a while now. Yesterday, her pal flatly refused to put on her uniform (a chef coat) and I was so tired of her shenanigans that I roared at her right before service to get out. I was actually surprised that the writer of the note didn’t ‘sympathy quit’ right then, but her professionalism clearly shines through in this note.”

p.p.p.p.s. God, I hope this girl shows up on a Bravo/Food Network reality show. I need more of this delicious naivete!

related: this shit is bananas

In other words…the butterflies are passive-aggressive

Kerry — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 15:31:33 +0000

Writes Dan in Seattle: “I work at a federal hospital and often ride my motorcycle to work. There is another hospital employee that also does so, and we usually park in the same area. Space is at a premium —especially around this woman and her self-proclaimed 10-foot-wide protected parking bubble. Another time she left me a note asking me not to block her in (when I hadn’t blocked her in!) but this latest note from her is the best encounter by far. I parked behind her about a foot back, leaving plenty —and I mean plenty — of room for her to pull out, but apparently that wasn’t enough for her.”

This time, Dan says, “for the safety of my motorcycle (and obviously, out of spite), I told the police.” Lucky for us, he scanned a copy of the note first. It’s the totally “biker chick” stationery that makes it, of course.

related: hello kancer!

Blowing smoke

Kerry — Fri, 29 May 2009 01:44:59 +0000

There’s a guilt trip…

And then there’s a guilt trip.

He’s just not that into unicorns

Kerry — Mon, 16 Feb 2009 04:04:58 +0000

Two target customers for Lisa Frank’s new line of movie tie-in stickers — coming soon to the Hot Topic/Urban Outfitters near you!

(Above, from Colorado. Below, from California.)