Entries Tagged as 'noise'

Down and dirty down under (dear)

October 12th, 2007 · 146 Comments

When our saga begins, our anonymous submitter’s girlfriend was living in a tiny apartment in Sydney, Australia. Due to space constraints, she was temporarily sleeping on what our submitter admits was “possibly one of the world’s shittiest sofabeds.”

GLAD U HAVE GREAT SEX LIFE but we think it's time to replace yr old bed dear, sound awful

WE DONT CARE WHEN U have SEX but the sound of YR old bed very DISTURBING !!!

But while the mailbox notes were presumably written first (based on the tone) they weren’t actually discovered until after a third note was slipped under the apartment door…

YOUR OLD SPRING BED VERY NOISY WHEN YOU GUYS HAVING SEX!!!

Mortified, our loving couple did, in fact, move their mattress to the floor. But that didn’t seem to placate their dear nameless neighb, who pinned this note to the the building’s common noticeboard…

If you sleep often get Disturb especially like last night between 1-3 am caused by sex marathon

“Ironically,” our submitter says, “it was found when we were moving out the horrible couch.”

related: visual aids always help

Tags: "helpful" advice · Australia · awk abbrev · CAPS LOCK · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · most popular notes of 2007 · neighbors · noise · saga · sex sex sex · spelling and grammar police · Sydney

The bark heard ‘cross the country

September 17th, 2007 · 214 Comments

So, our anonymous submitter had lived at her house in Austin, Texas for about two months when she went out of town for the weekend. For the two days while she was gone, she left her dog outside in the yard. Three weeks later, her landlord — who lives at a completely different address — received this note via U.S. mail…postmarked Cedar Rapids, Iowa.

Your tenant at 490 Caswell has her dog outside all day and night. It barks at everything. Tell her to shut that dog up.

a little creepy, right?

Tags: Austin · dogs · neighbors · noise

Don’t hate the playa

August 12th, 2007 · 115 Comments

Our anonymous submitter lives in a 30-story condo building in Chicago. Her father works in the same building, and received this note in the suggestion box.

“I found the letter slipped under my door one day,” she says. “My dad had put it there after reading it with his boss. I’m sure he’s damn proud of his little girl!”

In her defense, our submitter believes the notes allegations to be more than a bit exaggerated. “I have never (that I can remember) regurgitated in the garage,” she says, adding, in the immortal words of Salt n Pepa: “If I wanna take a guy home with me tonight/IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!”

This is to inform you that the tenant who lives on floor [redacted] appears to be having drug and alcohol problems.

Tags: Chicago · danger · drizzunk · drugs · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Moms & Dads · neighbors · noise · nonsensical spacing · not-so-veiled threats · sex sex sex · spelling and grammar police

Cubicle etiquette

July 17th, 2007 · 103 Comments

This series of signs (all made by one person, and pinned up across an entire bulletin board) is among my all-time favorites. The glorious redundancies, the inappropriate quotation marks, the clip art — oh, it’s just too good.

Cubicle Etiquette

PRIVACY

"SMELLS"

"NOISE"

SIGHTS

(Yeah, the last one is blurry. Our anonymous Canadian submitter apologizes.)

related: A clue your coworker isn’t up for cubicle small talk

Tags: blitzkrieg approach · Canada · cleaning · clip art catastrophe · etiquette · gloriously redundant · music · noise · odor · office · office cop · privacy · spelling and grammar police · unnecessary "quotation marks"

We hear you, man

July 7th, 2007 · 80 Comments

Nothing personal, OK?

Thanks to Elliette for passing this along for her friend in Manhattan.

And as a bonus, a classic passive-aggressive noise complaint from the fantastic Found magazine:

imthebossbitch.jpg

Tags: music · neighbors · New York · noise · Ohio · pleasantries as afterthought · thanks (but not really)

Which one of these is not like the other?

June 6th, 2007 · 48 Comments

Along with the Mad Bomber series, I’d say this note is one for the hall of fame. There are so many amazing elements here I can’t even pick a favorite.

Yay! No more loud obnoxious roommates! which one of these is not like the other? (2 of 2)

related: care, it makes a difference

Tags: cleaning · college life · dishes · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · noise · odor · roommates · sex sex sex · whiteboard

pour la derniere fois!!!

June 1st, 2007 · 8 Comments

mike in paris brings us this petit message passif-agressif:

paris.jpg

<<paris – 28 may 2007

urgent!

one must do one’s work during the daytime and NOT at night, or else it’s the police that will be working!

for the last time!>>

Tags: Francais · neighbors · noise · Paris

Visual aids always help

May 30th, 2007 · 18 Comments

From Lars in San Francisco.

Please get yourself a pair of slippers so the person downstairs from you could get some sleep. Try to lift the chair, not dragging it.

Tags: neighbors · noise · San Francisco · sleeping · visual aids

Just in case you’re running on Central Time

May 17th, 2007 · 7 Comments

I agree with Amy: “EST” is what really makes this one.

Dear enthusiastic EPID students: We have a class every Tu + Th from 11:00 am (EST) to 1:00 pm (EST). PLEASE try to refrain from entering the classroom until 1:00 (EST). We really enjoy our class + would prefer to not be interrupted. Thank you for your consideration.


Tags: college life · excessive underlining · Michigan · noise

It was an ironic dance party, okay?

May 12th, 2007 · 23 Comments

Slipped under our door by the downstairs neighbors.

Ya'll: This is the 3rd time Michael Jackson, Amy Grant, and the cast of Disney have invaded my apartment against my will. I tried knocking + was unheard or ignored. I don't want to have to rat you out, but if it doesn't stop ASAP I'm calling the policy. SORRY, Apt. 1

(Guilty as charged.)

related: Seriously…Sugar Ray?

Tags: Brooklyn · music · neighbors · noise · not-so-veiled threats · Park Slope · the po-po