Entries Tagged as 'noise'

Really professional, for real.

December 27th, 2009 · 56 Comments

Writes our (only slightly embittered) submitter in Connecticut: “My coworker works the receiving department in a car parts warehouse. Even though he works in a warehouse he likes to pretend he works in an office by sitting at his workstation all day working on ‘problems.’ He put this up because apparently people actually doing work were drowning out his Rush Limbaugh broadcast.”

Ladies & Gentlemen: This is a real office with a real phone, real customers & vendors people AND people who are trying to be REAL professional. Please keep the noise down to a low roar!

related: just sayin’

Tags: bold underlined italics · noise · spelling and grammar police

Do these stilettos match my broomstick?

December 9th, 2009 · 262 Comments

Sarah in London found this note — and the cheeky response — posted in the lobby of her former apartment building.

“Entry to the flats is by way of a concrete outside walkway,” she explains. “Unfortunately, if someone has noisy heels, the sound tends to reverberate throughout the building.”

When you come home in the early hours of the morning (2:45 am) can you please NOT make so much noise going down the main balcony with your stilettos and then slamming your street door. The problem with living in a block of flats is that you have neighbours that should be considered.  [response] Dear Complainer, We sincerely apologise for not being able to hover across the balcony in our very noisy stilettos. We will in future attempt to be home at 2:44 and if late fly across the main landing or teleport into our flat. Lovingly, Bramber residents

Of course, the above complainer isn’t the only person who has a problem with stilettos…a.k.a. “fucking shoes”?

STOP PLEASE NO Fucking Shoes or Heels In My House! Or Leave! I don't care who you are!! Have some respect for My House Damnit! What!!! Say Some thing!! Thank you!!! :)

related: The two-word compromise you’re looking for: zip wire

Tags: door-slamming · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · irregular capitalization · London · neighbors · noise · rainbow-colored · shoes · signed with love · smartass · that's disrespectful

Euphemisms of disturb

December 2nd, 2009 · 335 Comments

Our submitter in Dublin, California was leaving her apartment for work one morning when she found this syntactically-challenged note stuck to the door. “I assume my anonymous complaining neighbor has the wrong apartment number because A) My husband and I do not have children and B) For all but one of the dates listed no one was home to make any noise.”

She adds: ” We do, however, have other neighbors next door who are quite loud, and I’ve often been woken up to the sounds of moans, grunts and something heavy slamming into an adjoining wall.” (You know, just like that part in Big where they play pinball and jump on the trampoline!)

“When my husband saw this he laughed pretty hard and wondered aloud weather ‘kids jumping on the bed‘ was a euphemism for loud sex.”

euphemisms of disturb

related: Down and dirty down under (dear)

Tags: California · neighbors · noise · sex sex sex · spelling and grammar police

The Good Samaritan

September 17th, 2009 · 205 Comments

Julia in Australia attended a New Year’s Eve party in an affluent neighborhood. The next morning, after she came to, she realized her digital camera was missing. when she back to search for it, she found this sign posted up all around the local park.

funny note from neighbor to drunk girl

related: oh, the rancher and the mcmansioner should be friends

extra credit: i’ll say sorry, but i’m not taking off my glasses [youtube]

Tags: actually totally reasonable · Australia · drizzunk · neighbors · noise · p.s. · the po-po

Just a rat in a cage

September 10th, 2009 · 174 Comments

Writes Leslie in London: “My co-worker, Janine was having some serious keyboard RAGE and posted this request to our office’s online help desk, which every single person in the company can see…including Daniel.”

Can we get Daniel a quieter keyboard please? I've not said anything to anyone, but it's doing my head in.

This post is dedicated to my cube-mate Leah, who recently received a surprise “gift” — a quiet-touch keyboard — from our boss, which succeeded in making her feel even more self-conscious about her “loud typing.”

Sadly, she observed, the IT department has no solution for the cringe-inducing sound our fellow coworker who insists on clipping her nails at her desk.

related: Suck on this!

Tags: London · noise · office

Can you hear me now, biotch?

July 22nd, 2009 · 161 Comments

Our anonymous submitter — a college student in Michigan — “borrowed” this note under the pretense of reading it to empathize with the recipient. “While the note itself is straight up aggressive,” she says, “I do know that it has followed months of passive-aggressiveness.” And most of these complaints, she says, are totally legit. “I’ve been in the adjoining room while she’s in the bathroom and it’s pretty offensive.”

I can hear everything.

related: Your new best friend

Tags: college life · hygiene · Michigan · noise · roommates · that's disgusting

Get your “nozzle” off my “hose”

July 20th, 2009 · 128 Comments

“We’ve had trouble with our downstairs neighbors since we moved in,” says Sara in Madison. “Well, really just one of them, a woman in her fifties.” This neighbor’s most recent dose of crazy appeared in the mailbox Sara shares with her roommate (“Little Buddy,” in crazy lady-speak).

We'd be glad to stop if we knew what the hell you were talking about.

I kinda prefer this note without any explanation whatsoever, but if you’re still craving more, Sara explains…sort of. “I had, in fact, bought and put a nozzle on the outside hose so I could spray down an animal cage. We do not, needless to say, have parties in the laundry room.  In fact, we’ve never had a party, ever, because we’re too afraid of her.”

related: sheena is a paintballer

Tags: CAPS LOCK · crazypants · neighbors · noise · old folks · Wisconsin

A text from the big guy upstairs (or downstairs)

June 15th, 2009 · 131 Comments

As far as he can tell, Chris in Portland thinks this anonymous text was sent by his downstairs neighbor after a morning of hitting the snooze button one too many times. “Needless to say,” Chris admits, “this was not the first time I had ignored the alarm  clock.”

What’s strange, Chris says, is that he has no idea how the neighbor got a hold of his cell phone number. “My only thought is that about a month prior to receiving this text, I left my phone number on a post-it on the front door of the building so the UPS delivery guy could get a hold of me. They must have held onto that number the whole time, just waiting for the absolute breaking point.”

Turn your motherfucking alarm off.

Creepy…but kind of genius, right?

related: Recipe for roommate discord

Tags: cell phone · neighbors · noise · Portland · text message

Tap tap revenge

May 19th, 2009 · 158 Comments

Our anonymous submitter found this on his keyboard at work one morning. His sheepish explanation? “I guess I really get into the music on my iPod…”

Admittedly, the note-writer has a point — that shit is annoying, yo! — but the contrarian in me still thinks the rest of the office needs to chip in and get our submitter a set of these.

Please stop tapping your pencil and or pen on your desk....It is annoyingly disruptive to concentration...

related: Suck on this!

Tags: Arizona · music · noise · office · Scottsdale

Just sayin’

May 1st, 2009 · 121 Comments

Passive-aggressive? Oh, heavens no! These are just a few selfless public service announcements.

From an office in Oregon

WE CAN HEAR YOUR WHISPERS NEXT DOOR.

New Zealand…

I CAN SEE YOU PEE

and Kentucky…

It's a small office. We know who you are. There's a toilet brush if you need to use it.

related: The overly friendly coworker: ruining your day since you held the elevator for her that one time

Tags: big brother-ish · CAPS LOCK · Kentucky · noise · odor · office · Oregon