Entries Tagged as 'noise'

Just a rat in a cage

September 10th, 2009 · 174 Comments

Writes Leslie in London: “My co-worker, Janine was having some serious keyboard RAGE and posted this request to our office’s online help desk, which every single person in the company can see…including Daniel.”

Can we get Daniel a quieter keyboard please? I've not said anything to anyone, but it's doing my head in.

This post is dedicated to my cube-mate Leah, who recently received a surprise “gift” — a quiet-touch keyboard — from our boss, which succeeded in making her feel even more self-conscious about her “loud typing.”

Sadly, she observed, the IT department has no solution for the cringe-inducing sound our fellow coworker who insists on clipping her nails at her desk.

related: Suck on this!

Tags: London · noise · office

Can you hear me now, biotch?

July 22nd, 2009 · 161 Comments

Our anonymous submitter — a college student in Michigan — “borrowed” this note under the pretense of reading it to empathize with the recipient. “While the note itself is straight up aggressive,” she says, “I do know that it has followed months of passive-aggressiveness.” And most of these complaints, she says, are totally legit. “I’ve been in the adjoining room while she’s in the bathroom and it’s pretty offensive.”

I can hear everything.

related: Your new best friend

Tags: college life · hygiene · Michigan · noise · roommates · that's disgusting

Get your “nozzle” off my “hose”

July 20th, 2009 · 128 Comments

“We’ve had trouble with our downstairs neighbors since we moved in,” says Sara in Madison. “Well, really just one of them, a woman in her fifties.” This neighbor’s most recent dose of crazy appeared in the mailbox Sara shares with her roommate (“Little Buddy,” in crazy lady-speak).

We'd be glad to stop if we knew what the hell you were talking about.

I kinda prefer this note without any explanation whatsoever, but if you’re still craving more, Sara explains…sort of. “I had, in fact, bought and put a nozzle on the outside hose so I could spray down an animal cage. We do not, needless to say, have parties in the laundry room.  In fact, we’ve never had a party, ever, because we’re too afraid of her.”

related: sheena is a paintballer

Tags: CAPS LOCK · crazypants · neighbors · noise · old folks · Wisconsin

A text from the big guy upstairs (or downstairs)

June 15th, 2009 · 131 Comments

As far as he can tell, Chris in Portland thinks this anonymous text was sent by his downstairs neighbor after a morning of hitting the snooze button one too many times. “Needless to say,” Chris admits, “this was not the first time I had ignored the alarm  clock.”

What’s strange, Chris says, is that he has no idea how the neighbor got a hold of his cell phone number. “My only thought is that about a month prior to receiving this text, I left my phone number on a post-it on the front door of the building so the UPS delivery guy could get a hold of me. They must have held onto that number the whole time, just waiting for the absolute breaking point.”

Turn your motherfucking alarm off.

Creepy…but kind of genius, right?

related: Recipe for roommate discord

Tags: cell phone · neighbors · noise · Portland · text message

Tap tap revenge

May 19th, 2009 · 158 Comments

Our anonymous submitter found this on his keyboard at work one morning. His sheepish explanation? “I guess I really get into the music on my iPod…”

Admittedly, the note-writer has a point — that shit is annoying, yo! — but the contrarian in me still thinks the rest of the office needs to chip in and get our submitter a set of these.

Please stop tapping your pencil and or pen on your desk....It is annoyingly disruptive to concentration...

related: Suck on this!

Tags: Arizona · music · noise · office · Scottsdale

Just sayin’

May 1st, 2009 · 121 Comments

Passive-aggressive? Oh, heavens no! These are just a few selfless public service announcements.

From an office in Oregon

WE CAN HEAR YOUR WHISPERS NEXT DOOR.

New Zealand…

I CAN SEE YOU PEE

and Kentucky…

It's a small office. We know who you are. There's a toilet brush if you need to use it.

related: The overly friendly coworker: ruining your day since you held the elevator for her that one time

Tags: big brother-ish · CAPS LOCK · Kentucky · noise · odor · office · Oregon

Keeping peace in the sinks of the Middle East

April 2nd, 2009 · 168 Comments

Our anonymous submitter in Tel Aviv spotted this note outside the kitchenette of a client’s office. In case your Hebrew is a little rusty, she also provided an English translation:

In this kitchen, please feel free to] pour drinks, cut up food, warm things through, stir and mix food, chop food up into ridiculously small pieces, taste whatever you like and eat until you are well satisfied and utterly sated. BUT [the Hebrew slang originating from the Arabic equivalent of "for fuck's sake,"] do it quietly!

In this kitchen, please feel free to] pour drinks, cut up food, warm things through, stir and mix food, chop food up into ridiculously small pieces, taste whatever you like and eat until you are well satisfied and utterly sated. BUT [the Hebrew slang originating from the Arabic equivalent of

Adds our submitter: “Presumably, noise is a problem — I was just tickled by how much I was permitted to do, as long as I kept my mouth shut.”

Meanwhile, elsewhere in the Middle East, the U.S. Armed forces aren’t quite so “anything goes.” Except, apparently, when it comes to shitting in the shower.

Oh oh oh, you said DO NOT do

related: Why is it that on this night we’re, like, allowed to eat carbs?

Tags: Hebrew · kitchen · military · noise · office · shit · The Middle East

On jamming

April 1st, 2009 · 207 Comments

This note is so goddamn beautiful that if I just saw this floating around on Digg or something, I’d probably assume it was fake. And yet, Marta in Vancouver swears it’s for real.

She explains: “The guy who lives in one of the basement suites in our house left this on our front door after we stomped on the floor when he was blasting “Hotel California” at 11 p.m.” Oh, and just so you get a clear picture in your head, Marta says: “This is a guy who hangs out in the backyard with a katana wearing full-on samurai robes.”

TO the person who stomps on my ceiling

Adds Marta: “Never have any of the people in the basement complained about us ‘running down the stairs.’ In fact, they’ve all told us they can never hear us.  Sorry for walking, guy, we’ll try to levitate from now on.”

related: Oxford drama

Tags: Canada · crazypants · most popular notes of 2009 · music · neighbors · noise · TL;DR · Vancouver

Suck on this!

February 9th, 2009 · 99 Comments

Passed along by the unfortunate hacker in question from Littleton, Colorado…

what is up with the coughing? take some drugs to take care of that, or blow your nose, or suck on a lozenge...whatever you got to do. the sound might be annoying to you, but keep in mind there are many other people in the office who have to hear that constantly.

related: Stay home!!!

Tags: Colorado · e-mail · heartwarming compassion · illness · noise · office · oh no you didn't

A Post-it Note-Off

January 7th, 2009 · 237 Comments

LJ, a student at Mississippi State University, was up late one night writing a paper when her roommate asked her to stop — the noise of her typing was keeping her up. “I had a paper to write and i didn’t think I was making enough noise to warrant moving my workstation outside, so, I stayed put,” LJ says. “After she threw a huffing, puffing, tantrum and left to sleep in the lobby, I finished my paper and went to bed.”

The next morning, she awoke to a bathroom filled with notes like this one:

Warning: Since you proved last night that you don't respect me, I've lost all respect for you.

LJ decided to respond by giving her roomie a little taste of her own medicine. (Whether the irony was intentional or not, I’m not quite sure.)

Stop writing fucking post-its. It's a cowardly way to communicate.

Ah, the joys of dormitory living!

related: oh, the irony

Tags: college life · meta · Mississippi · noise · rebuttals · roommates