As far as he can tell, Chris in Portland thinks this anonymous text was sent by his downstairs neighbor after a morning of hitting the snooze button one too many times. “Needless to say,” Chris admits, “this was not the first time I had ignored the alarm  clock.”

What’s strange, Chris says, is that he has no idea how the neighbor got a hold of his cell phone number. “My only thought is that about a month prior to receiving this text, I left my phone number on a post-it on the front door of the building so the UPS delivery guy could get a hold of me. They must have held onto that number the whole time, just waiting for the absolute breaking point.”

Creepy…but kind of genius, right?

related: recipe for roommate discord

Our anonymous submitter found this on his keyboard at work one morning. His sheepish explanation? “I guess I really get into the music on my iPod…”

Admittedly, the note-writer has a point — that shit is annoying, yo! — but the contrarian in me still thinks the rest of the office needs to chip in and get our submitter a set of these.

related: Suck on this!

Passive-aggressive? Oh, heavens no! These are just a few selfless public service announcements.

From an office in Oregon…

New Zealand…

and Kentucky…

related: The overly friendly coworker: ruining your day since you held the elevator for her that one time

Our anonymous submitter in Tel Aviv spotted this note outside the kitchenette of a client’s office. In case your Hebrew is a little rusty, she also provided an English translation:

In this kitchen, please feel free to] pour drinks, cut up food, warm things through, stir and mix food, chop food up into ridiculously small pieces, taste whatever you like and eat until you are well satisfied and utterly sated. BUT [the Hebrew slang originating from the Arabic equivalent of "for fuck's sake,"] do it quietly!

Adds our submitter: “Presumably, noise is a problem — I was just tickled by how much I was permitted to do, as long as I kept my mouth shut.”

Meanwhile, elsewhere in the Middle East, the U.S. Armed forces aren’t quite so “anything goes.” Except, apparently, when it comes to shitting in the shower.

related: Why is it that on this night we’re, like, allowed to eat carbs?

This note is so goddamn beautiful that if I just saw this floating around on Digg or something, I’d probably assume it was fake. And yet, Marta in Vancouver swears it’s for real.

She explains: “The guy who lives in one of the basement suites in our house left this on our front door after we stomped on the floor when he was blasting “Hotel California” at 11 p.m.” Oh, and just so you get a clear picture in your head, Marta says: “This is a guy who hangs out in the backyard with a katana wearing full-on samurai robes.”

Adds Marta: “Never have any of the people in the basement complained about us ‘running down the stairs.’ In fact, they’ve all told us they can never hear us.  Sorry for walking, guy, we’ll try to levitate from now on.”

related: Oxford drama

Passed along by the unfortunate hacker in question from Littleton, Colorado…

related: Stay home!!!

LJ, a student at Mississippi State University, was up late one night writing a paper when her roommate asked her to stop — the noise of her typing was keeping her up. “I had a paper to write and i didn’t think I was making enough noise to warrant moving my workstation outside, so, I stayed put,” LJ says. “After she threw a huffing, puffing, tantrum and left to sleep in the lobby, I finished my paper and went to bed.”

The next morning, she awoke to a bathroom filled with notes like this one:

LJ decided to respond by giving her roomie a little taste of her own medicine. (Whether the irony was intentional or not, I’m not quite sure.)

Ah, the joys of dormitory living!

related: oh, the irony

“There are several common rooms in my dormitory at Indiana University, and most of them have pianos available for the students to play,” writes Jain in Bloomington.

“While I can empathize with this anonymous student’s frustration, possibly after hearing the third or fourth broken attempt at ‘Chopsticks’ in a single day, I’ve personally found the exit to be a more successful coping strategy than leaving bitchy notes on a baby grand. But hey, different strokes…”

Meanwhile, Dan spotted a supermarket in Sterling, Virginia that took the above note-writer’s sentiment just a half-step further.

related:  I used to be your biggest fan

extra credit: pearls before breakfast [washingtonpost.com]