PassiveAggressiveNotes.com » not so much passive-aggressive

Welcome to the new employee breakroom!

Kerry — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 20:19:25 +0000

Apparently only the not-so-valuable employees get banished to this closet, as spotted by Lindsey in Kansas.

(Psst, Savanna! You might want to check this place out.)

Meanwhile, Kristi in Oregon noticed that inner peace is apparently not on the menu for the general public at this vegetarian restaurant.

related: The Sushi Nazi

Guns? Sure. Tortillas? Hell, no.

Kerry — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 17:39:11 +0000

Spotted by Tiffany in San Antonio, Texas…

(Not passive-aggressive, just too amusing not to share.)

The not-quite-so-amusing explanation, courtesy of commenter NativeoSanantonio: This is at the Aztec Theater in downtown San Antonio. It’s a live music venue that has a classic country music show. Fans would throw tortillas on stage as a show of appreciation. It was cute at first but quickly got out of control. The performers asked for the “No Tortilla” rule.

(It ain’t gonna be tossing you any beads)

Kerry — Fri, 11 Mar 2011 01:18:27 +0000

Dear Monterey Aquarium Staff: Our submitter, Kevin from Napa, would like to suggest that you consider revising the phrasing of your photography policy. (Unless this type of thing is what you’re trying to avoid.)

Adds Kevin: “I don’t know which is more juvenile: thinking this sign was funny, or trying to pretend that it’s not.”

Okay, is it Friday yet?

Pets? Sure. Foreigners? Hells no!

Kerry — Tue, 04 Jan 2011 14:08:26 +0000

I wouldn’t call these two PA notes passive-aggressive — just “pretty awful.”

First up, from St. John’s, Newfoundland:

Update: As commenter Reb points out: The “ad” from St. John’s is actually part of a Human Rights Commission campaign that’s trying to bring attention to discrimination like this; it’s not a real ad. Notice, for example, the lack of a phone number.

But this one, from Davisburg, Michigan is 100% real — and, as commenter James notes, not uncommon.

PLEASE DON’T PARK JAPANESE CARS IN FRONT OF MY OFFICE PARK THE DAMN THINGS IN JAPAN. I first posted this in my window in 1992. A lot of people still don’t get it. I remember one lady that got quite indignant after reading this years ago. It would be fitting for her unemployment to have run out and if you drive one, I hope that you are one of the next ones laid off. GRANT

(Thanks to Shawn in Canada and Sarah in Michigan for submitting!)

For Sale, Cemetery Plot, Never Used

Kerry — Fri, 13 Aug 2010 19:13:42 +0000

Who knew? If you’re in the market for cemetery plots at bargain-basement prices, apparently the go-to place is…the women’s locker room at the gym. At least that’s where our submitter in East Lansing, Michigan spotted this notice (which was clearly not penned by Hemingway).

Happy “WTF?” Friday, everyone!

NEWS ALERT: Dark alley not the safest place to store your personal belongings

Kerry — Tue, 03 Aug 2010 22:15:31 +0000

Okay, dude, I really don’t want to kick you while you’re down — getting your scooter stolen definitely sucks. (Also, based on the rage level in your note, I think you’d probably kick back pretty hard.) And yet…I’m not really buying your framing of this as some kind of public service announcement.

For one thing, I’m guessing that if you took a poll of your neighbors (including Alex, our submitter) and asked, “Hey, did you know that if you leave your personal property in this alley, it could get stolen?!” I’m pretty sure most would respond with someone along the lines of, “Uh, no shit.” Just sayin’.

God’s word is…well, a little confusing, at least for a 7-year-old.

Kerry — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 01:38:51 +0000

Larissa in Tacoma, Washington recently sent her 7-year-old son, Silas, to a week of Bible camp. When he came home, Larissa says, she wondered if the experience hadn’t left him a bit…conflicted…especially after seeing the pillow he made during craft time.

(“Rouls,” by the way, is not Silas’s last name. That’s the 7-year-old spelling of “RULES.”)

Meanwhile, I can see how the sign below, from a candy store in Rayne, Louisiana — which I assume was intended to deter this theft — could easily send a particular type of child into a tailspin of religious guilt.

Is God smiling? How do I know if God’s smiling? Does God like chocolate? I don’t think chocolate’s in the Bible. But Proverbs says: ‘My child, eat honey, for it is good.’ So maybe I should get a Bit o’ Honey instead. But a Bit o’ Honey costs more than 50 cents, and Mom said I could only spend 50 cents. So then I’d be dishonoring my parents, and that wouldn’t make God happy. So maybe I should…maybe I should….[bursts into tears]

Sounds like somebody needs a vacation.

Kerry — Sat, 01 May 2010 01:31:18 +0000

Luckily, Liz in Houston convinced her work buddy not to forward this not-at-all-passive Jerry Springer-esque rant to the entire company e-mail list, as originally intended. (Otherwise, work buddy’s much-needed vacation might have turned out to be a permanent one.)

extra credit: How not to land an internship [gawker.com]

Sometimes, Mom is (actually, maybe, a little bit) right.

Kerry — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 05:59:14 +0000

Writes our submitter in Lexington, Kentucky: “One day, I updated my Facebook status to something about how no one in my city knows how to properly use a turning lane. The next day, I got this e-mail from my mom. She often makes similar judgments about what personality traits I should have because I’m ‘such a pretty girl.’”

Annoying? Sure. But aside from the irritating Momsian/Victorian conflation of physical/moral beauty, I think I’m actually on Team Mom for this one. (Of course, had I received a similar e-mail from my own mom, I’d hardly be so clear-eyed. Such is the nature of the mother/daughter dynamic!)

I hope you get money from everybody!

Kerry — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 07:43:19 +0000

“In college,” Sandy writes, “I shared a house with a motley group of roomies. When it was time for me to graduate, my super-kooky roommate suggested I send her parents a graduation announcement because they had liked me a lot (having met me once, for a few hours) and would feel insulted if I didn’t send them an announcement. I had a few left over, so I did.” A while later came this response – not passive-aggressive per se, but a little, well…

Adds Sandy: “The assumption of my attempt to grub money coupled with the cheerfully airy tone really speaks volumes about the environment in which my old roomie grew up. (Incidentally, she DID spell my name right.)”

P.S. Yes, that’s $25, not $125.

Why I hate Miami, exhibit a

kerry — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 02:24:28 +0000

The fact that nightclubs have to post notes like this one:

(Thanks to Jeff in New York for passing along!)

related: going up?