Entries Tagged as 'not-so-veiled threats'
Amber received this amazing note in an envelope on her doorstep in Sacramento. “I have no idea which neighbor sent this to me, but I can only assume it was the paranoid-looking woman who lives above me,” she says. “But I don’t do drugs. I don’t even smoke cigarettes!”
related: Don’t hate the playa
Tags: a little uptight · drugs · holiday spirit · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · odor · passive voice · Sacramento
Thanks to Sarah for capturing this delicious little slice of life from her Christian college in Illinois. (Delicious like a quart of Starbucks Coffee Almond Fudge, not one measly little low-fat Frappucino bar.)
related: but He took the wheel
Tags: apostrophe abuse · college life · excessive underlining · heart · ice cream · Illinois · irregular capitalization · not-so-veiled threats · spelling and grammar police · touching · You call that punctuation? · you're like so going to hell
Joe in Northern Virginia has amassed a pretty divine collection of office fridge notes over the years, the best of which portend various forms of karmic/economic/physical retribution.
related: It must have been a pretty big bite
Tags: "accidental" "borrowing" · ellipses-crazed · food · karma's a bitch · licking · not-so-veiled threats · office · office fridge · Reston · stealing · Virginia
Laura spotted this punchline of a note (“you know it’s time to move out when…”) at her apartment building in downtown Brooklyn. Or rather, her former apartment building. It’s unclear whether the note-leaver was motivated by recent research suggesting that pictures of eyes may deter crime.
Meanwhile, Kim in Worcester, Massachusetts spotted a convenience store taking a similarly whimsical approach to theft prevention.
Tags: apostrophe abuse · Brooklyn · CAPS LOCK · excessive underlining · Massachusetts · more aggressive than passive · not-so-veiled threats · stealing · the po-po · Worcester
Reading in the bathroom is one thing…but kicking back with a purloined Snapple? Tbat’s one step too far for this food service establishment, as spotted by Jenny in Washington, D.C.
You gotta love that passive voice! Any kindly guesses re: the crossed-out word?
Tags: "customer service" · bathroom · high on highlighter · not-so-veiled threats · passive voice · restaurant · stealing
PES picked this note out of an apartment building in Newark, New Jersey in 2004 because he loved the third paragraph, which is oh-so-amazing. Add in the peculiar diction and the glorious redundancy of it all, and you’ve got one fucking delicious note.
related: Your to lazy
extra credit: For more deliciousness, be sure to check out the stop-motion shorts at eatpes.com.
Tags: CAPS LOCK · exclamation-point happy!!!! · garbage · gloriously redundant · graffiti · landlords and property managers · loitering · most popular notes of 2007 · New Jersey · Newark · not-so-veiled threats · questionable logic · shameless meme-mongering · smoking · vandalism
Bradley in New York woke up yesterday to find this little love note from his girlfriend. (His explanation? “She’s a light sleeper.”) I feel her pain. If there’s a sound more irritating than a Nokia ring tone, the pathetic “I’m dying” whine of an out-of-juice cell phone just might be it.
Meanwhile, Chris’s friend Michelle doesn’t appreciate having her beauty rest disturbed, either…
Tags: cell phone · more aggressive than passive · New York · noise · not-so-veiled threats · San Jose · sig o · signed with love
Lisa in Berkeley says she was doing laundry in her dorm building when someone pointed out this amazing note to her. “According to that person, who knew the note-poster through a friend, ‘The towels were actually nice. They were from Kohl’s or something.’”
Lisa says the note has since been taken down. “I guess either an RA got to it, or someone got a beating.”
Tags: Berkeley · California · college life · Comic Sans Alert · comma diarrhea · die bitch die · laundry · not-so-veiled threats · RA · spelling and grammar police · stealing · that's disgusting · TMI · towels
Those troublemakers requesting more crazy apartment notes can thank our anonymous submitter (a GM at a property management firm in Springfield, Missouri) for today’s masterpiece. “One of our resident managers delivered this letter to 115 units at her property, then e-mailed me a copy because she was REALLY proud of it,” our submitter writes. “I got halfway through and realized I had to send it to you.”
Now, for the complaints…
Tags: cleaning · dogs · exclamation-point happy!!!! · garbage · irregular capitalization · itemized list · landlords and property managers · Missouri · more like crazy · music · noise · not-so-veiled threats · parking · rhetorical question · smoking · spelling and grammar police · TL;DR · vandalism · your/you're
Long-simmering roommate issues comes to a head in Toronto…
(Green ink is being kicked out by black ink.)
related: I can’t stand this shit anymore.
Tags: drugs · excessive underlining · not-so-veiled threats · rebuttals · roommates · smiley · spelling and grammar police · Toronto · touching