Entries Tagged as 'not-so-veiled threats'
Our anonymous submitter lives in a 30-story condo building in Chicago. Her father works in the same building, and received this note in the suggestion box.
“I found the letter slipped under my door one day,” she says. “My dad had put it there after reading it with his boss. I’m sure he’s damn proud of his little girl!”
In her defense, our submitter believes the notes allegations to be more than a bit exaggerated. “I have never (that I can remember) regurgitated in the garage,” she says, adding, in the immortal words of Salt n Pepa: “If I wanna take a guy home with me tonight/IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!”
Tags: Chicago · danger · drizzunk · drugs · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Moms & Dads · neighbors · noise · nonsensical spacing · not-so-veiled threats · sex sex sex · spelling and grammar police
Semarr prefaces this submission by saying: “I realize it’s not particularly *passive* aggressive, but in context it became so.” She explains:
There were eight people living in the house. One of them collected shelter cats and kept them in the basement. I found this note when I had come home from work very late at night. By morning, the board was blank and Jon L-W denied it ever existed, and all roommates at the next ‘house meeting’ refused to admit there were any aggressive undertones in house. Jon said he loved the cats. Other earlier voiced-behind-backs complaints were whole-heartedly denied.
Adds Semarr: “I moved out a month later.”
related: My cat-shit crazy neighbor
Tags: cats · excessive underlining · more aggressive than passive · New Jersey · not-so-veiled threats · odor · roommates · shit · that's disgusting · whiteboard
“This note appeared in the office kitchen on the fridge next to our fancy Keurig coffee machines,” says our submitter in New York City. “The coffee pods are set out on the counter in a display, but when people couldn’t find their flavor of choice, they’d go into the cabinets to find it.”
Trying to understand this sign-maker’s design process (“No, still not clear enough. let’s hit return again, center-justify, underline AND change the color?”) makes my head hurt.
Adds our submitter: “Sure enough, not long after this note went up, coffee service was discontinued.” (It has since resumed.)
Tags: bizarro spacing · bold-underlined-caps · coffee · fun with synonyms · New York · nonsensical spacing · not-so-veiled threats · office
Writes Lauren in Kansas: “My roommate is known for her notes towards me and our other roommate. We never touch each other’s food as is, but I guess she felt the need to threaten us to keep it that way. Inside the box? A ton of containers of frozen cookie dough.”
Sadly, Lacey’s earlier notes to Lauren and her roommates went unrecorded. Lauren’s personal favorite:
If you’re hot run around naked
If you’re cold put on sweatshirts
Do NOT touch the heater
Tags: die bitch die · exclamation-point happy!!!! · food · Kansas · not-so-veiled threats · roommates · signed with love · stealing
Looks like both the Mad Bomber and Richard G. Sells have West-coast counterparts:
Grossed out? Yeah, me too. Blame Gregory in Los Angeles for documenting this one (!!!)
related: The Mad Bomber, Act 1: “Sorry about the language”
Tags: CAPS LOCK · die bitch die · ellipses-crazed · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · group bitchfest · Los Angeles · more aggressive than passive · office · piss · shit · that's disgusting · toilet
The third paragraph of the first e-mail is the brilliant part…though I’m gonna have to side with Michelle’s roommate on this one.
Adds Michelle: “that bread was fucking delicious.”
Tags: bread · CAPS LOCK · Charlottesville · college life · e-mail · food · more aggressive than passive · most popular notes of 2007 · not-so-veiled threats · p.s. · Virginia
(From Midgy in Madison, Wisconsin.)
related: With 17 roommates, it could have been worse
Tags: CAPS LOCK · dishes · not-so-veiled threats · p.s. · rhetorical question · roommates · sarcasm · spelling and grammar police · TL;DR · Wisconsin
A booby-trapped soup — sans note — probably would have been the more effective (and more passive-aggressive) approach, but, um, to each his own?
If you’re wondering what OxyPowder is, allow Kenneth to explain.
Tags: excessive underlining · food · Houston · more aggressive than passive · not-so-veiled threats · office · office fridge · stealing
This isn’t just a note — it’s a work of art. And it’s about 100 shades of amazing.
I’ll let Rich explain: “I had a party at my house once in college, and one of our roommates who was going to be gone was really scared that someone was going to sleep in his bed. so, instead of, you know, telling us not to use his room, he decided to post this hilarious note that only an aspiring personal injury lawyer could produce.”
related: CARE — it makes a difference
Tags: "helpful" advice · college life · excessive underlining · Iowa · more like crazy · not-so-veiled threats · questionable logic · roommates · TL;DR · touching
“My roommate Ian kept eating all the cereal I bought before I had a chance to have even a single bowl,” Dan says. Apparently the Cap’n decided to take matters into his own hands.
If you can’t read it, the Cap’n is saying: “Ian, If I catch you eating this delicious cereal, I’ll kill you in your sleep. Love, Dan.”
Tags: cereal · excessive underlining · food · not-so-veiled threats · roommates · signed with love · stealing