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Entries Tagged as 'not-so-veiled threats'

Next time, go for the Fiji?

May 24th, 2007 · 11 Comments

This fiendishly funny note comes to us courtesy of Jennifer in Philly, who does not condone the theft of bottled water of any kind.

To the fiend that took my Deer Park water which was frozen solid out of the freezer in the door tip shelf!!!

Tags: "helpful" advice · exclamation-point happy!!!! · not-so-veiled threats · office · office fridge · oh snap · stealing · water

The Mad Bomber, Act 2: Please stay seated during the entire performance

May 23rd, 2007 · 34 Comments

If you missed it, Act 1 is where this saga begins. Here, we see Richard G. Sell’s frustration grow to a fever pitch…

WE ARE TIRED OF THIS!!!!!! Let it be known by all of our female members that the staff of the Lawrence Athletic Club are tired of cleaning up after the MAD BOMBER.

And it continues with Act 3

Tags: "helpful" advice · exclamation-point happy!!!! · gym · not-so-veiled threats · shit · toilet

The Mad Bomber, Act 1: “Sorry about the language”

May 22nd, 2007 · 36 Comments

I don’t want to oversell this, but the following series of three signs (sent in by a health-club patron who wishes to remain nameless) just became my new all-time favorite. I love so many things about Richard G. Sells’s first masterpiece (below) that I don’t even know where to begin.

Twice someone has crapped all over the wall, back of the toilet, under the toilet, on the seat, under the seat, and on the floor without getting any of the crap in the toilet stool [sic] itself.

The best part, I think, might be the Freudian slip mid-way through (“…without getting any of the crap in the toilet stool itself.”)

But it doesn’t end there! Read acts 2 and 3.

Tags: "helpful" advice · bathroom · exclamation-point happy!!!! · gym · most popular notes of 2007 · not-so-veiled threats · p.s. · shit

It was an ironic dance party, okay?

May 12th, 2007 · 23 Comments

Slipped under our door by the downstairs neighbors.

Ya'll: This is the 3rd time Michael Jackson, Amy Grant, and the cast of Disney have invaded my apartment against my will. I tried knocking + was unheard or ignored. I don't want to have to rat you out, but if it doesn't stop ASAP I'm calling the policy. SORRY, Apt. 1

(Guilty as charged.)

related: Seriously…Sugar Ray?

Tags: Brooklyn · music · neighbors · noise · not-so-veiled threats · Park Slope · the po-po