Writes Catherine in Melbourne: “I was preparing breakfast in the office kitchen when I opened the fridge and reached for the margarine tub to butter my toast. Ten seconds later, I was fearing for my life.”

related: I Can’t Believe It’s Not (My) Butter

extra credit: Australians Losing Their Taste for Vegemite [time.com]

Writes our submitter in Canada: “Of the 12 people living the house, only three do any sort of cleaning or washing up. This was the result of several months of accumulated angst.”

related: I did the dishes. Where’s my cookie?

Our submitter, a college student in Texas, says this note appeared just two weeks into the fall semester. “I’m excited to see what gets posted a few weeks from now when nothing changes,” she adds.

In the meantime, can somebody get this kid a thesaurus?

related: Kiss your mother with that mouth?

Dear Notewriter: Clearly, you’re not a scholar of Indian religious traditions, so just FYI: “Karma” doesn’t translate from the Sanskrit as “sword-wielding mercenary” or “the guy Liam Neeson played in Taken.”

(Also, the Knight of Flowers is offended by your insinuations.)

Thanks to Hannah in Oakland for submitting!

related: The Orchid (and Daffodil, and Begonia) Thief

Based on the dots between the words (a technique picked up at Montessori School), Lauren in Vancouver estimates she was about six years old when she wrote this note (translation below):

Dad, I am angry because you throwed away your father’s day present. If I catch you doing it again, I will hit you hard. Signed, Lauren.

In her father’s defense, “The gift in question was a giant, brightly-coloured fish made out of paper and stuffed with newsprint,” Lauren says. “I remember finding the ‘present’ in the garbage and putting it back on my father’s desk, which is probably where the threat came in.”

And then, of course, there’s the troll dad approach…

related: An honest Father’s Day card

extra credit: Dads on Vacation [tumblr]

Kelli in North Dakota says one of her neighbors plastered the entire building with these notes, directed to a certain wannabe baseball player/bull rider/oral cancer patient.

(Some not-so-fun facts: At 15.3%, North Dakota has the second-highest rate in the country of tobacco-chewing high schoolers. Among North Dakotan adult males, about 1 in 10 chews.)

Meanwhile, here in Texas, submitter Katie is unsure whether her neighbors’ cars are being pelted with the likes of Copenhagen or queso. (In Texas, it really could go either way.)

related: My garbage can is not your spit cup. 

…where Santa brings you bunny stationery and a shotgun in the same stocking!

related: The right to bear fruit

“I love my neighbor’s passion,” says Del in Chicago. “This is totally something I would do.”

Hmm, Del. To which of  your two neighbors are you referring?

related: Panty raid!