Entries Tagged as 'not-so-veiled threats'
Option a) “Hey, Iva, could you buy some TP? We’re out.”
Option b) Several weeks of seething funneled into eight six colored markers’ worth of heart exclamation point smiley THREAT heart heart.
And the winner is…
Gee, Bell, that IS funny, cuz you really threw me off with that “I hope you had a nice day!! <3 :)” shit. (I’M ACTUALLY KIDDING. I WILL CUT YOU.)
related: One sure sign your roommate situation isn’t working out?
Tags: heart · mean girls · not-so-veiled threats · rainbow-colored · roommates · signed with love · smiley · toilet paper
Darin in Chicago came across the note on the side of his neighbor’s garage just as he was throwing his own dog’s crap in the trash can. (This is kinda like getting out the new roll of TP, but then leaving it on the side of the sink to get wet instead of just putting it on the dispenser…except, worse.)
I don’t really understand the logic here either, but perhaps this particular dog owner is still dealing with the scars from dealing with neighbors like this one, from Ottawa:
related: This is not a trash can
Tags: Chicago · dogs · excessive capitalization · garbage · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · recycling · shit · You call that punctuation?
At Summer’s office in Austin, there are a few known “soakers” who constantly leave their dirty dishes in their sink. Apparently, the office soothsayer has had about enough of this practice.
(click the image below to enlarge)
P.S. I kinda have a crush on this sign.
related: Things not to flush down the toilet: your hopes, your dreams…your sweaters
Tags: Austin · dishes · most popular notes of 2011 · not-so-veiled threats · office · smartass
From Austin, Texas: a last-ditch attempt to get rid of a houseguest who took “Mi casa es su casa” a bit too literally…
related: Couchsurfing Greg gets pissed
Tags: Austin · frenemies · heart · moving/not moving · nice stationery · not-so-veiled threats
If you’re too jaded to handle the cuteness factor of kids’ overly-demanding notes to the Tooth Fairy, you still might get kick out of this tooth-in-cheek note from the Tooth Fairy herself.
Explains Mindi (a.k.a. Mindy) from Santa Cruz, California: “In elementary school, I played the string bass in the school orchestra, and my parents were paying for private tutoring lessons. Obviously, I wasn’t practicing enough!”
Adds Mindi: “I later cut this out and put it in my scrapbook. (The ‘really?’ on the side was mine.)”
related: Not to be hard, but I need money.
extra credit: Go to F**ck to Sleep [amazon.com]
Tags: California · kids · Moms & Dads · not-so-veiled threats · Santa Cruz
Jillian and her roommates in Massachusetts recently found this note — which goes from 0 to 60 in half a page — outside their apartment door. At the time it was left, says Jillian: “None of us were home except the dog, who apparently needs to lose weight.”
But hey, neighbor? Even if they had been home, ignoring a knock hardly seems grounds for jumping straight to burning the mail. Apparently it is not a good month for chilling the fuck out.
related: (Don’t Fear) The Creeper
Tags: martyr complex · Massachusetts · mistaken identity · most popular notes of 2011 · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · Oops? · WTF?
Our submitter at a university in Canberra spotted this first note while getting his morning coffee. “Pat (a professor in the department) has been complaining for weeks that her coffee mug seems to disappear and reappear spontaneously. Her mood varies with its presence.”
Several days later, our submitter spotted this addendum, written by another professor sympathetic to Pat’s cause. “Since the mug hasn’t turned up in over a week, I’m pretty sure the culprit is too afraid to return the mug at this point.” (Could you blame him?)
related: Not to name names, but…
Tags: "accidental" "borrowing" · Australia · beverages · Canberra · cats · college life · not-so-veiled threats
Grandmas: they can kiss you on the cheek while punching you in the gut, and you’ll still write a thank-you note…or wish you had. BECAUSE OTHERWISE YOU WOULDN’T BE HERE.
related: But…but…I didn’t forget!
P.S. By the way, Grandma Cookie, I did call you at Palm Garden on Mother’s Day — three times — but you didn’t answer. But, um, Happy Mother’s Day?
Tags: CAPS LOCK · Facebook · family · Grandma · guilt trip · Idaho · just a friendly reminder · Mother's Day · not-so-veiled threats · signed with love
I don’t ever condone passive-aggressive note-writing, but you should be warned: hard-core Diet Coke drinkers do not fool around. (Trust me — I’m a recovering addict myself.)
related: Enough with the diet sodas!
Tags: blitzkrieg approach · Diet Coke · fridge · most popular notes of 2011 · not-so-veiled threats · sad face · smiley · stealing
Gloria in Pennsylvania spotted this warning — sort of a New Testament twist on the old “lamb’s blood on the doorpost” trick — posted on a neighbor’s apartment door.
Now, maybe it’s because I’m a godless heathen, but if I ever took up a life of crime, I think I might find this sign from a West Virginia convenience store (as photographed by Matt in Brooklyn) just a bit more convincing.
related: When sleeping, you will get burned and die immediately!
Tags: God · Jesus · most popular notes of 2011 · not-so-veiled threats · Pennsylvania · questionable logic · stealing · warning · West Virginia