Entries Tagged as 'not-so-veiled threats'
You could start with a basic visual aid…
Or perhaps appeal to your readers’ sense of patriotism…
…or go with a not-so-veiled threat.
Of course, you could just let your ass do the talking.
But remember to cite your sources.
(Thanks to Ryan in West Palm Beach, Heather in Delaware, Julie in Marysville, Brian in British Columbia and bluepaintred in Canada for their advice on this matter.)
related: Four approaches to ice cube maintenance
Tags: bathroom · misplaced patriotism · not-so-veiled threats · toilet paper · visual aids
First of all, the disclaimer: Our anonymous submitter in Houston lives in an apartment complex with very limited parking for residents. “When I come home from work late at night,” she explains, “the handicapped parking spot is typically the only one available.” That excuse, however, doesn’t seem to cut it for one of her neighbors.
As you’ll see from the note left on our submitter’s windshield, this eagle-eyed neighbor perhaps isn’t what you’d call “book-smart,” but — gosh darn it — what she lacks in basic spelling and grammar skills she more than makes up for with raw gumption and a steely sense of self-righteousness!
[Rough translation, from our anonymous submitter: "I see that you are not handicapped, but you park in the handicapped parking spot in our apartment complex. I am not handicapped, and I don't know anyone in the complex who is, but I feel entitled to tell you to stop parking there. Furthermore, I feel entitled enough to have your car towed if you park there again."]
related: Mahvelous, just mahvelous
Tags: "helpful" advice · Houston · kinda creepy · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · parking · smiley · Texas · that's illegal
Dale in El Segundo, California has the thankless job of ordering office supplies, coffee and whatnot for the cube-farm where he works. Really, really thankless. This note appeared on his desk one day attached to a packet of no-sugar-added hot chocolate.
Tags: and that's an order · beverages · California · cocoa · not-so-veiled threats · office
Writes Ashley in Thousand Oaks, California: “A few years ago, my grandmother and I were sharing a bathroom, and sometimes I would use her towels. One day I opened the drawer and found this note. Of course, I had to take a picture!”
And then…well, then there’s this.
related: How I “did” my grandma
Tags: California · die bitch die · family · Grandma · not-so-veiled threats · old folks
Libby from Sydney, Australia found this note taped to the wall of the IGA supermarket in Newtown, Sydney. “Feeling sympathetic though somewhat amused, I took a photo of it — I didn’t really think it would be fair to take it with me.” (That is, of course, more than can be said for a certain junkie scumbag lowlife.)
related: an inconvenient truth
Tags: Australia · bicycle · Christmas · die bitch die · fuck fuckity fuck fuck · not-so-veiled threats · stealing · Sydney
Our anonymous submitter says this display is just one of many microwave missives his coworker has created. “Someone tore it down and threw it on the floor once,” he says, “but she put it back up, laminated with heavy-duty tape.”
And of course, the art-imitating-life inspiration for this post: Pam Beesly.
related: To each his own microwave
extra credit: The Office: “Frame Toby”
Tags: CAPS LOCK · cleaning · fiction · high on highlighter · microwave · most popular notes of 2008 · New York · not-so-veiled threats · obnoxious definition · office · spelling and grammar police
Sigh. Half the people in your department just got pink-slipped, your 401(k) is worth shit, and now, just when you thought things couldn’t get any worse…they’re coming for your muffin, too.
All in the name of shareholder value!
(Leaked by Sayf in Greenwich, Connecticut.)
related: Lean cuisine
extra credit: Morgan Stanley cancels Christmas, jobs [dealbreaker]
Tags: Connecticut · Greenwich · money · not-so-veiled threats · office fridge · rebuttals · stealing · touching
Now you must face the evil bitchy consequences.
related: Pumpkin with a death wish
Tags: cry me a freaking river · Facebook · guilt trip · Halloween · holiday spirit · not-so-veiled threats · TL;DR
Spotted by Christina in Minnesota at the Angels & Airwaves merch booth…
Can’t read the smaller writing? here’s a (blurry) close-up:
(As it turns out, Christina says, it was an empty threat.)
related: The chav’s guide to SXSW
Tags: Minnesota · not-so-veiled threats · signed with love · tipping · xoxo
Three U.S. cities where nature-lovers might want to keep their hands to themselves:
1. Austin, Texas
2. Macon, Georgia
3. Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
(Thanks to Don in Austin, Elizabeth in Macon, and Jasmine in Pittsburgh for risking the wrath of some devoted gardening/second amendment enthusiasts to document these warnings.)
related: No “questions” asked
Tags: Austin · blame it on the crackhead · CAPS LOCK · exclamation-point happy!!!! · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · Georgia · Macon · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · Pittsburgh · spelling and grammar police · stealing