writes katrina in illinois: “i work in furniture, and due to the economy/the real estate crash, the company has been struggling and a lot of employees have been making a lot less money. this little morale booster was found on the break room bulletin board — right beside the letter notifying us that the company [...]
Entries Tagged as 'now that's management'
recession incentive plan
July 9th, 2009 · 159 Comments
Tags: fired · highlighter · illinois · now that's management
repestect yourself
June 29th, 2009 · 161 Comments
presenting the winner of the creative spelling (and spacing) of the year award, spotted by rob in the recently-painted elevator of his brooklyn apartment building.
it has a lovely lyric quality to it, no?
related: your are welcome to our home
Tags: CAPS LOCK · bizarro spacing · brooklyn · elevator · landlord · now that's management · spelling and grammar police · your/you're
why can’t you act professional?
June 8th, 2009 · 146 Comments
writes aimee in sellersburg, indiana: “my former boss used to leave these kind of notes posted on our work bulletin board constantly. it was a really boring job, so these little rays of sunshine made coming to work worth it.”
related: i don’t recall signing any bond/contact regarding your use of exclamation points!!!
Tags: CAPS LOCK · confusion??? · crazy boss · ellipses-crazed · exclamation-point happy! · indiana · now that's management · sad face · you call that punctuation?
but what about hawaiian shirt day?
March 23rd, 2009 · 116 Comments
our submitter, glenn, says this all-staff e-mail “just kinda sucked the life out of us” around his office. “it was like a mom saying ‘guess what, kids?” in a really excited voice, and then saying ‘you’re going to the dentist!!!‘”
but the best part of this note — besides the pitch-perfect forced jollity — is the [...]
Tags: a little patronizing · all-staff e-mail · now that's management · office · rhetorical question · texas
art depreciation
February 2nd, 2009 · 256 Comments
our anonymous submitter in seattle, an artist, used to pass the downtime at his day job by doodling on boxes. “they know it was me,” our submitter says, but instead of, you know, confronting him, management decided — in true passive-aggressive style — to hang this critique up for all to see.
related: just a friendly [...]
Tags: a little patronizing · art · now that's management · retail hell · seattle · smiley
“that’s what she said”
November 18th, 2008 · 199 Comments
spotted by randi in charlotte, north carolina, this one’s straight out of the michael scott playbook.
related: to the victor goes the bile
Tags: faint praise · north carolina · now that's management · oh no you didn't · spelling and grammar police
it’s pat!
November 5th, 2008 · 61 Comments
on a recent roadtrip around southern maine, noelle and her friends hilary and misha spotted this puzzling little note posted in the back of a gas station convenience store.
when they left, noelle says, “the manager ran after us, screaming, ‘what were you girls doing, taking pictures of my store like that?!’” noelle and her friends [...]
Tags: CAPS LOCK · maine · now that's management · say wha? · spelling and grammar police
the man™: now available in convenient mini-me size!
October 16th, 2008 · 95 Comments
our submitter, b., was shopping at a shoe pavilion in san francisco when she realized she really needed to use the facilities. although there was no public restroom in sight, she did spy the familiar infographic just beyond a doorway marked “employees only.” when she ducked inside, b. was greeted by this sublimely creepy warning [...]
Tags: big brother-ish · now that's management · ohio · retail hell · san francisco
american analog threat
July 20th, 2008 · 187 Comments
the manager of a florida preschool seems to have a kindred spirit at a missouri strip club, where our anonymous submitter spotted this note taped to a dressing-room mirror.
personally, i like the idea of an junior-high-elective-style employment program. (dance? restaurant management? government? you decide!)
related: happy to be of service
Tags: "helpful" advice · mcdonalds · missouri · not-so-veiled threats · now that's management · visual aids
“when the people fear their government, there is tyranny.”
July 16th, 2008 · 201 Comments
writes an anonymous federal employee in colorado: “this morning we were reminded via an office-wide email that we must comply with the official timekeeping rules.”
that means recording the correct time on our time sheets, not being absent during core hours without submitting a leave slip, not being off campus except for lunch hour or approved [...]
Tags: CAPS LOCK · colorado · fired · meta · not-so-veiled threats · now that's management · office · the government
so many questions
July 10th, 2008 · 185 Comments
what kind of objectionable trash do you suppose is being disposed of in these bins? (half-eaten curries? yesterday’s times?) how many hours of company time did the sign’s designer spend on this full-color laminated masterpiece? what is that comma doing there? and how, exactly, how are these bins to be monitored?
related: servicing over a half-billion [...]
Tags: CAPS LOCK · bathroom · clip art catastrophe · garbage · ireland · now that's management · office
graham, this means you
July 6th, 2008 · 125 Comments
eli says this sign has been hanging in the window of the local pizza place for several weeks now. (really, with that whole “talking and working” requirement, are you surprised they weren’t deluged with applications?)
related: bizarre pardoning accident
Tags: CAPS LOCK · now that's management · spelling and grammar police
maybe if it was hawaiian shirt day?
April 11th, 2008 · 52 Comments
alexa in texas works in a graduate lab of five students. one friday, she says, “our advisor came in around 9:30 a.m. looking for us. no dice: except for one poor guy, we were all out. when the hard-working crew finally rolled in around 1:30 (or, um, 3 p.m.), they were greeted by this inspirational [...]
Tags: CAPS LOCK · lab rats · now that's management · office · texas · university
in-game placement would have scored much higher in user engagement
January 21st, 2008 · 63 Comments
at the circuit city in bradenton, florida (which i envision something like this) one anonymous employee reports that much of the staff’s downtime is spent obsessively playing guitar hero 3 in the store’s break room. they even have a 42-inch wall-mounted flatscreen expressly for this purpose. or at least, they did, until about a month [...]
Tags: CAPS LOCK · exclamation-point happy! · florida · now that's management · retail hell · visual aids
more like hardly working
January 9th, 2008 · 133 Comments
mara in minneapolis ( average temperature in january: 12° F/-11° C) says the worst job she’s ever had was at a local thrift store – and not because of the crazy customers and their indiscreet use of the fitting rooms. no, like many workers, the crazy person driving mara crazy was her boss — [...]
Tags: "helpful" advice · crazy boss · minneapolis · now that's management · retail hell · temperature
now finish up them taters, i’m gonna go fondle my sweaters
November 2nd, 2007 · 487 Comments
writes tessa, who works at a restaurant in albuquerque: “the day manager left this note for the night cook, who does spend all night smoking, watching TV and calling his girlfriend on the business phone.” (i’m sure this note will absoutley set him straight.)
Tags: albuquerque · now that's management · restaurant · smoking · spelling and grammar police
excuse me, I believe you have my stapler
September 19th, 2007 · 267 Comments
attention: corporate emergency in the chicagoland area!
Tags: a little uptight · and that's an order · chicago · crazy boss · excessive underlining · not-so-veiled threats · office · office supplies · seattle · spelling and grammar police
now that’s effective management
September 10th, 2007 · 113 Comments
craig from nottingham, england snapped these at the pub where his cousin works. (apologies for the blurriness — just pretend you’ve already knocked back a few pints.)
by the way, if you’d like to go meet stephen and shake his hand, craig says the name of the pub is the flowing spring, in henley. stephen seems [...]
Tags: CAPS LOCK · bar · cleaning · crazy boss · excessive underlining · not-so-veiled threats · nottingham · office · u.k.
my sadistic dungeon-master won’t let me call in sick
June 8th, 2007 · 19 Comments
explains desi in new york: “i work in a dungeon, (a “we- do-S&M-here” place) and not only is our boss passive-aggressive (really, he is, in a more strict interpretation of the term) he also doesn’t speak english all that well.”now that’s a formula for comic gold. here’s the latest offering, though desi promises many more [...]
Tags: crazy boss · illness · new york
your last day of work was yesterday
May 26th, 2007 · 23 Comments
how’s this for way harsh? the numbered list at the end is my favorite part.
i’m all, “whoa, they left him a note instead of telling him face-to-face?” and scott’s like, “yep, I guess probably because the night operator was a pretty big dude.”
Tags: fired · now that's management · office

