“Our department head thought we should be be bringing in doughnuts more often,” says our anonymous submitter in Illinois. One of the department’s “severely underpaid” underlings, meanwhile, thought otherwise.

UPDATE: For those of you asking “But where’s the ridiculous clip art?!” I bring you this rather dashing toreador/sheriff (as spotted by Mel in the break room [...]

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Sure, we’ve seen notices like this one before…although they’re usually from parts of the world with much more questionable plumbing than you’d find (as Jason did) in Northern Virginia.

But this doozy, spotted by Dana at a local coffee shop in Canada, is a first.

related: Comrades, take notice!

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A parable of the state of the “hot dot-com” workplace in 2009: The story goes, according to our anonymous submitter in California, “that some executive-level person decided to put a pinball machine into our break area. After several months, someone must have complained about the noise, because a note went up telling us it was [...]

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Writes Katrina in Illinois: “I work in furniture, and due to the economy/the real estate crash, the company has been struggling and a lot of employees have been making a lot less money.  This little morale booster was found on the break room bulletin board — right beside the letter notifying us that the company [...]

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Presenting the winner of the creative spelling (and spacing) of the year award, spotted by Rob in the recently-painted elevator of his Brooklyn apartment building.

It has a lovely lyric quality to it, no?
related: your are welcome to our home

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Writes Aimee in Sellersburg, Indiana: “My former boss used to leave these kind of notes posted on our work bulletin board constantly. It was a really boring job, so these little rays of sunshine made coming to work worth it.”

related: I don’t recall signing any bond/contact regarding your use of exclamation points!!!

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Our submitter, Glenn, says this all-staff e-mail “just kinda sucked the life out of us” around his office. “It was like a Mom saying ‘Guess what, kids?” in a really excited voice, and then saying ‘You’re going to the dentist!!!‘”

But the best part of this note — besides the pitch-perfect forced jollity — is the [...]

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Our anonymous submitter in Seattle, an artist, used to pass the downtime at his day job by doodling on boxes. “They know it was me,” our submitter says, but instead of, you know, confronting him, management decided — in true passive-aggressive style — to hang this critique up for all to see.

related: Just a friendly [...]

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Spotted by Randi in Charlotte, North Carolina, this one’s straight out of the Michael Scott playbook.

related: to the victor goes the bile

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On a recent road trip around southern Maine, Noelle and her friends Hilary and Misha spotted this puzzling little note posted in the back of a gas station convenience store.

When they left, Noelle says, “The manager ran after us, screaming, ‘What were you girls doing, taking pictures of my store like that?!’” Noelle and her [...]

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our submitter, b., was shopping at a shoe pavilion in san francisco when she realized she really needed to use the facilities. although there was no public restroom in sight, she did spy the familiar infographic just beyond a doorway marked “employees only.” when she ducked inside, b. was greeted by this sublimely creepy warning [...]

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the manager of a florida preschool seems to have a kindred spirit at a missouri strip club, where our anonymous submitter spotted this note taped to a dressing-room mirror.

personally, i like the idea of an junior-high-elective-style employment program. (dance? restaurant management? government? you decide!)
related: happy to be of service

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writes an anonymous federal employee in colorado: “this morning we were reminded via an office-wide email that we must comply with the official timekeeping rules.”
that means recording the correct time on our time sheets, not being absent during core hours without submitting a leave slip, not being off campus except for lunch hour or approved [...]

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what kind of objectionable trash do you suppose is being disposed of in these bins? (half-eaten curries? yesterday’s times?) how many hours of company time did the sign’s designer spend on this full-color laminated masterpiece? what is that comma doing there? and how, exactly, how are these bins to be monitored?

related: servicing over a half-billion [...]

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eli says this sign has been hanging in the window of the local pizza place for several weeks now. (really, with that whole “talking and working” requirement, are you surprised they weren’t deluged with applications?)

related: bizarre pardoning accident

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alexa in texas works in a graduate lab of five students. one friday, she says, “our advisor came in around 9:30 a.m. looking for us. no dice: except for one poor guy, we were all out. when the hard-working crew finally rolled in around 1:30 (or, um, 3 p.m.), they were greeted by this inspirational [...]

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at the circuit city in bradenton, florida (which i envision something like this) one anonymous employee reports that much of the staff’s downtime is spent obsessively playing guitar hero 3 in the store’s break room. they even have a 42-inch wall-mounted flatscreen expressly for this purpose. or at least, they did, until about a month [...]

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Mara in Minneapolis ( average temperature in January: 12° F/-11° C) says the worst job she’s ever had was at a local thrift store — and not because of the crazy customers and their indiscreet use of the fitting rooms. No, like many workers, the crazy person driving Mara crazy was her boss — [...]

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writes tessa, who works at a restaurant in albuquerque: “the day manager left this note for the night cook, who does spend all night smoking, watching TV and calling his girlfriend on the business phone.” (i’m sure this note will absoutley set him straight.)

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attention: corporate emergency in the chicagoland area!

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Craig from Nottingham, England snapped these at the pub where his cousin works. (Apologies for the blurriness — just pretend you’ve already knocked back a few pints.)

By the way, if you’d like to go meet Stephen and shake his hand, Craig says the name of the pub is The Flowing Spring, in Henley. Stephen seems [...]

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Tim is the night auditor at a hotel in Fort Smith, Arkansas and hardly ever sees his bosses. Instead, they communicate with him through charming memos like this one.

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explains desi in new york: “i work in a dungeon, (a “we- do-S&M-here” place) and not only is our boss passive-aggressive (really, he is, in a more strict interpretation of the term) he also doesn’t speak english all that well.”now that’s a formula for comic gold. here’s the latest offering, though desi promises many more [...]

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I’m all, “whoa, they left him a note instead of telling him face-to-face?” and Scott’s like, “Yep, I guess probably because the night operator was a pretty big dude.”

How’s that for way harsh? The numbered list at the end is my favorite part.

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