PassiveAggressiveNotes.com » obnoxious definition

Take a moment and look up the word RUDE.

Kerry — Thu, 06 Jan 2011 22:13:11 +0000

Just in case you were still under the impression that leaving an anonymous note will somehow allow you to maintain the moral high ground, take a look at this classic neighborly exchange from Drew‘s apartment building in Atlanta.

related: I hope your cat chokes

In case of emergency…well, you’re on your own.

Kerry — Tue, 31 Aug 2010 02:38:52 +0000

In one of my clearest memories of first grade, I distinctly remember my teacher telling us, on the first day of school, that the bathroom in the back of the classroom was only for emergencies. For non-emergencies, we’d have to wait until lunchtime. In my six-year-old mind, however, “emergency” meant only one thing: “throwing up.” And so, when I had to go, I held it. And held it. Until…well, I wasn’t holding it anymore.

That’s right: It actually took wetting my pants for me to learn that the word “emergency” means very different things to different people — a concept some people apparently still haven’t figured out.

It’s unclear, for example, what might constitute a “citrus emergency” at this Pleasanton, California optometrist’s office. (Perhaps a masochistic mandarin peeling itself?)

You might think people would be a little more precise in their language on a military base. At Arizona’s Fort Huachuca, you’d only be about half right.

At Gustavo’s new office building in Seattle, it only took about a week — and about a bazillion false alarms— before someone decided a little clarification was necessary. (Sorta sounds like something you’d expect from a classroom of first-graders, no?)

Meanwhile, Andrew in Cirencester, England only noticed this sign after pushing open one of his office’s alarmed fire doors (triggering a sudden and unforeseen occurrence — i.e., ear-shattering noise).

The bathroom battle of the sexes…a true race to the bottom.

Kerry — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 03:47:00 +0000

Though your attention might have drifted ever so briefly, I’d like to reassure you that the ongoing debate over which restrooms (men’s or women’s) are the foulest continues to rage on — and yes, it’s as nauseating as ever!

I literally received these two submissions — the first from an EMT school in Massachusetts, the second from a non-profit in D.C. — within minutes of each other. Mere coincidence? Or a cosmic clue from the Internet gods that it was time for a showdown between “Angulated Rectum Guy” and “The Queen of Diahrriah?” Okay, that was a gimme. The real question: who would you rather share a loo with?

Exhibit A) as witnessed by Josh in Fall River, Mass.

Exhibit B) From an anonymous bystander in College Park, Maryland

The time-tested “sausage, egg and cheese” diet

Kerry — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 02:04:14 +0000

Angie in Columbus, Ohio says this is the second (hilariously) furious fridge note to be posted lately in the office kitchenette. Adds Angie: “Who knew a Jimmy Dean breakfast sandwich fit into a ‘special diet’?” Perhaps next time the writer could just hop (er, drive) on over to Taco Bell?

extra credit: This is why you’re fat.

RSV-f’ing-P. Comprenez-vous?

Kerry — Sun, 13 Dec 2009 15:00:53 +0000

“Our office manager was upset that people weren’t responding promptly enough to the Christmas party invitation,” says our submitter in San Diego.

In keeping with the holiday spirit of things, the office manager apparently channeled that anger into the posting of this (uncredited) About.com excerpt in the office kitchen, for the edification of all. How that’s for savoir faire?

Thanks for the clarification

Kerry — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 04:07:22 +0000

Exhibit a) From a share house of would-be flip-cup players in Garfield Heights, Ohio (!!!)

Exhibit b) from an office in Dallas. Writes our anonymous submitter: “Everyone in the building knew who was trashing the bathroom, but no one ever confronted the guy directly about it. After about a year, this note went up.” (Not surprisingly, it didn’t work.) Finally, our submitter says, the building engineer went directly to the guy’s boss to, um, clarify the situation further.

And then there’s exhibit c) from a restaurant in Delaware.

I’m not a doctor, but I was an extra on ER once?

Kerry — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 04:54:51 +0000

Jen says this liquor store in Chicago’s Lincoln Square is completely plastered with notes like these, but — vexingly enough — the guy at the register was such a hawk she was only able to snap a few photos. Happily, I’d say Jen scored a hat trick for insolence with these three.

Sincerely, disappointed

Kerry — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 04:04:01 +0000

Our anonymous submitter says this display is just one of many microwave missives his coworker has created. “Someone tore it down and threw it on the floor once,” he says, “but she put it back up, laminated with heavy-duty tape.”

And of course, the art-imitating-life inspiration for this post: Pam Beesly.

related: To each his own microwave

extra credit: The Office: “Frame Toby”

American Analog Threat

Kerry — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 00:21:33 +0000

The manager of a Florida preschool seems to have a kindred spirit at a Missouri strip club, where our anonymous submitter spotted this note taped to a dressing-room mirror.

Personally, I like the idea of an junior-high-elective-style employment program. (Dance? Restaurant management? Government? You decide!)

related: happy to be of service

The art of the passive-aggressive note

Kerry — Fri, 23 May 2008 16:11:47 +0000

Sure, it’d be easier and quicker to just clean it up. But the modern passive-aggressive (like Katey in Berkeley’s ex-roommate) can’t pass up the opportunity to make a point.

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A common variation on the Van der Rohe approach, as documented below by Sam in Dallas, is the so-called “Reverse Magritte.”

Meanwhile, post-modern passive-aggressives (like this New York office-worker below) can’t resist throwing some irony into the mix, intentional or not.

More recently, passive-aggressives have begun to show the influence of the burgeoning neo-pop movement. Our anonymous submitter in Houston, for example, designed the original stamp below for use in his work. “I am an engineer and we have to mark up technical drawings for manufacture,” he explains, in his artist’s statement. “It gets used at least twice a day.”

The bleeding-edge of passive-aggressive note-writing, however, lies on the west coast, where Rebecca in San Francisco says that in the past, “We’ve had an ongoing series of notes left in the office kitchen — usually of the ‘your mother doesn’t work here’ or ‘there is no such thing as the coffee fairy’ variety.” The Koons-inspired piece currently on display in the office breakroom, however, makes its point with no words at all.

related: Why-fi

Covering all the bases

Kerry — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 22:37:08 +0000

“It seems too many people have made love to the office water cooler,” says Lizzy in New York. And some of them, it seems, are getting a little sloppy.

Lizzy says the “Office of Water” thing refers to the fact that “Our office is full of water. Like, the fridge doesn’t have anything but bottled water and Coke,” but I’m not quite buying it. I’d like to think this came from the EPA’s official Office of Water (Benjamin H. Grumbles, assistant administrator).

Where angels fear to spit

Kerry — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 02:51:32 +0000

From an anonymous heathen in Washington, D.C.:

Free markets, free people, free papers

Kerry — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 14:54:53 +0000

Another doozy of an apartment manager note from Oakland, California! Our anonymous submitter wasn’t able to save any of those 14 notices, so it’s unclear if any of them were anything like this one.

related: love, apt. 3

Losing Lisa

Kerry — Thu, 04 Oct 2007 04:22:29 +0000

Gina from Santa Cruz lives in a dorm where ten girls share one bathroom. Says gina, “I love saga notes, and feel we need some more of them, so I figured this collection would certainly do the trick.” Indeed, Gina, indeed! The progression here from pleasantries and smileys to — well, you’ll see — is classic. And a webmd.com citation? Major bonus points.

Gina also sent in a (small-ish) photo of the whole scene.

UPDATE: Gina responds to team fake!