Entries Tagged as 'office fridge'
September 26th, 2007 · 94 Comments
Sounds like somebody in this Seattle office is havin’ a little ‘roid rage.
What’s Muscle Milk, you ask? Well, say its makers, “Muscle Milk is arguably America’s favorite protein.” Apparently because unlike, say, chicken, Muscle Milk comes in flavors like “egg nog,” “chocolate banana crunch” and “root beer float.”
related: Try a bite
Tags: all-staff e-mail · CAPS LOCK · Comic Sans Alert · ellipses-crazed · not-so-veiled threats · office fridge · sarcasm · Seattle · spelling and grammar police · stealing
September 10th, 2007 · 84 Comments
As this example from Winston-Salem, N.C. shows: hell hath no fury like a lactose-loving office worker.
The thief might be depending on the fridge’s contents as a source of food, but mercy? Don’t count on it.
Tags: cheese · itemized list · North Carolina · not-so-veiled threats · office · office fridge · stealing · Winston-Salem
“Apparently our growing satellite office has some food thieves,” says an anonymous submitter in Ontario.
Tags: Canada · e-mail · food · office · office fridge · Ontario · reverse psychology · sarcasm · stealing
“My co-workers and I were in love with this note when we found it attached to the office refrigerator,” says Brian in Cleveland. “We wanted a copy, but the woman frightened us. So we came up with an elaborate scheme. One co-worker walked to the kitchen carrying a folder. She grabbed the note, stuffed it inside, and walked down the hallway. She handed it to another co-worker and stood watch. That co-worker raced to give it to me, who rapidly made a copy. Then we reversed the sequence. Within two minutes, the note was back on the fridge, and we were in heaven.”
So worth the effort though, right?
Tags: CAPS LOCK · cheese · Cleveland · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Moms & Dads · more aggressive than passive · most popular notes of 2007 · office · office fridge · Ohio · pleasantries as afterthought · preggers · questionable logic · spelling and grammar police · stealing
A booby-trapped soup — sans note — probably would have been the more effective (and more passive-aggressive) approach, but, um, to each his own?
If you’re wondering what OxyPowder is, allow Kenneth to explain.
Tags: excessive underlining · food · Houston · more aggressive than passive · not-so-veiled threats · office · office fridge · stealing
“Our company gives us free soda,” says Craig in New York City, “but then you have to deal with notes like these.”
(Cue the world’s tiniest violin.)
related: But…changing the water cooler bottle is hard!
Tags: beverages · CAPS LOCK · New York · office · office fridge
(Charlie in Los Angeles did not eat your lunch.)
Tags: excessive underlining · group bitchfest · Los Angeles · office · office fridge · smartass · smiley · spelling and grammar police · stealing
In 2001, I solved a “disappearing food” problem without these little notes. For some time (3 weeks or so), I bought some very nice food, put my name on it with a “do not touch — not for human consumption!” sign, and watched it disappear. I also found out about the fine taste of the thief – sugar was high in the rank. So on a random day, I placed a box of very nice sugar treats with the same sign, in the same place, and — as expected — it disappeared pretty soon. That was 9-10AM. By 2PM, the horse laxative I put in the food made two co-workers abandon the office in a hurry, only to spend the next 24 to 48 hours in the hospital.
Nothing was ever said (it could lead to lawsuit). If needed, I would claim the treats where for my horses, and “not for human consumption” — notice a similarity? I immediately stopped eating the food I left behind, just in case they thought of doing the same. Somehow, food never disappeared again. Next time I would use ink — permanent ink — just in case the idiots choose the lawsuit option.
Back in the day when I worked at a public library somebody stole my Hot Pockets. I responded by writing this passive-aggressive haiku (or something similar, I can’t recall it exactly) and posting it on the fridge:
Dear Hot Pocket Thief:
I hope that it tastes like guilt,
So hot and delish
The next day there was a note from the Hot Pocket thief who was profuse in his/her apology, as well as two new replacement boxes of hot pockets. I felt really terrible despite it all, and attempt to curb any passive aggressive behavior from myself.
Where I used to work, there was this guy who would drink from anothers guy drink when he left the room. One time he place his drink on a napkin and wrote: “I spit in this”. When he got back somebody else had written “So did I!”
Tags: food · office · office fridge · spitting · stealing · touching
From Lindsay in Burbank:
Says the author of post-it #2: “The next day, she added a note that said, ‘Keep eating my sushi and you’re going to find out!’”
And from Jason in New Haven:
(To the left, the original note. To the right, the response.)
If you’re guessing these guys are engineers, you’re not that far off.
Tags: Burbank · California · Connecticut · food · milk · New Haven · office · office fridge · rebuttals · smartass · stealing
This exercise in redundancy is brought to us by Erika in Los Angeles. It’s like the note-writer couldn’t decide which tactic would be most effective and just opted for all of the above.
Tags: "helpful" advice · bullet points · excessive underlining · food · guilt trip · high on highlighter · Los Angeles · not-so-veiled threats · office · office fridge · pleasantries as afterthought · spelling and grammar police · stealing