PassiveAggressiveNotes.com » Columbus

Stealing condoms from the dollar store? That’s wrong in so many ways.

Kerry — Tue, 16 Nov 2010 03:12:22 +0000

While perusing the merchandise at the local dollar store, Josh in Columbus, Ohio spotted this signage near the shelf of the world’s skeeviest-looking condoms…which are apparently attracting the skeeviest of the Columbus area’s “stupid and sexually active” population.

As one Dooce commenter wrote, “Perhaps if you buy the dollar store condoms, you should just go ahead and grab a couple of pregnancy tests to save yourself a later trip.”

At least in prison they get to play basketball in the courtyard

Kerry — Thu, 14 Oct 2010 02:23:26 +0000

Unsurprisingly, Emily in D.C. says it took less than 24 hours for one her neighbors to call bullshit on the building management’s “exciting news.”

Meanwhile, this building in Columbus, Ohio — which submitter Andrew says is “really nice and fancy-looking” — appears to take the mullet approach to policing its public spaces. (Business in the front, party in the back!)

Adds Andrew: “I 100% believe that this note is legit. I work exactly one block away from where the sign was posted, and a few days ago, I went outside only to find my self interrupting someone who was pissing on our dumpster. We have caught people in the act of shitting in our parking lot, and have also received many “anonymous fecal gifts.”

Welcome to the neighborhood. You’re totally screwing it up.

Kerry — Fri, 10 Sep 2010 02:25:32 +0000

Shortly after moving to Columbus, Ohio, Julie received a welcome-wagon visit from her new neighbors…in the form of a post-it note stuck to the side of her motorcycle. Her bike, which was parked on the public city street across from her house, had apparently disrupted the neighborhood’s unofficial parking “regimin.”

“I complied with the rules of their little microcosm,” Julie says, “but I also turned the note into an overhead, which was a real gold mine for the rhetoric class I was teaching at Ohio State.”

Adds Julie: “Incidentally, when parked perpendicularly, a motorcycle uses roughly 2.5 feet of street.”

The time-tested “sausage, egg and cheese” diet

Kerry — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 02:04:14 +0000

Angie in Columbus, Ohio says this is the second (hilariously) furious fridge note to be posted lately in the office kitchenette. Adds Angie: “Who knew a Jimmy Dean breakfast sandwich fit into a ‘special diet’?” Perhaps next time the writer could just hop (er, drive) on over to Taco Bell?

extra credit: This is why you’re fat.

“What if someone like you had stolen Baby Jesus?”

Kerry — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 16:51:18 +0000

As this note from Columbus, Ohio demonstrates, ’tis the season to be hilariously self-righteous!

related: All I want for Christmas

extra credit: Baby Jesus Theft [Wikipedia]
Roundup of stolen Baby Jesus reports [Wonkette]
Baby Jesus found! [FOUND Magazine]

There’s a Nigerian prince I can put you in touch with for more information…

Kerry — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 06:03:58 +0000

Office lunch thieves: always despicable, and in this case — gullible, too.

The “helpful” (yet oh-so-devious) all-staff e-mail sent by the victim:

And — I shit you not — the response:

related: lean cuisine

Soyf*ckers Anonymous

Kerry — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 20:54:14 +0000

Spotted by our anonymous (and uninvolved) submitter on the office bulletin board at a “super mega corp” in Columbus, Ohio…where apparently a vegan “safe space” is, um, kind of in order (sob).

related: p.s. bacon is life

extra credit: Passive-aggressive vegan grocery cashier, a day in the life [McsSweeneys]

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Through a glass bowl, darkly

kerry — Sat, 09 Feb 2008 08:39:40 +0000

Cate in Columbus went out of town for a night, and sadly, her absence was enough to provoke her betta fish (Pope Shaivo the Third) to jump out of his bowl and end it all. Meanwhile,Cate says her roommates, apparently unwise to the suicidal tendencies of bettas, “thought I had placed it on my desk and just left it there!”