Entries Tagged as 'Oops?'

Vandalism is offensive…and painful.

July 15th, 2012 · 85 Comments

Here’s how Carter in San Francisco tells the story: “It was my birthday, and after everyone else wanted to go to bed, I wanted to take an adventure. Being wasted, though, I didn’t make it past the second step. Instead, I fell down a flight of stairs straight into a plant, breaking off two branches.”

When he awoke the next morning, not only was he bruised and hungover, he was also an offensive vandal. As it turns out, however, an apologetic one — the pink note is his. He also shelled out $22 for a pretty new plant. (That’s something we don’t see too often around these parts…)

Vandalism is offensive! Respect other people's property!  1) Sorry about your plant 2) I accidentally fell down the stairs into it, breaking it 3) I didn't mean to 4) Assuming vandalism is offensive 5) Here's another plant because I feel bad

related: Arboreal abuse

Tags: drizzunk · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · Oops?

Please excuse my cooties

April 15th, 2012 · 123 Comments

Shar is a receptionist — and self-described germaphobe — working at a financial corporation in Toronto. The coworker who covers for her during lunch was sick this week, Shar says, and must have noticed that “when I return, I take it upon myself to Purell the crap out of my mouse, keyboard, desk surface and even pens. (I cannot afford to get sick.)”

Hey I know I have a cold and all but can you at least wait until I leave the room before you start sanitizing your whole desk. Its kinda mean. Hope you had a good lunch.

Adds Shar: “In my defense…I did think she was gone.”

related: My secretary, Sybil

Tags: illness · office · Oops?

How DARE you.

March 17th, 2012 · 48 Comments

Our submitter, Cynthia, spotted this exchange clipped to a fence in her Seattle neighborhood. “I love the meanness of trying to publicly shame my neighbor into returning this amazing garbage can, and my other neighbor’s overly offended response,” Cynthia says. As of yet, she adds, “the mystery of the missing garbage can remains unsolved.”

Meanwhile, I think some of us are still a little confused about what type of emergency constitutes calling 911. (Hint: a missing garbage can is not one of them.)

One of the neighbors told us they saw you take a white garbage can from our yard. It is custom for our cabinets [sic] and we need it. Please return it.  No questions asked.  Thank you. Response: No questions asked, how dare you. You got the wrong neighbors.  look [e]lsewhere for your can. Or call 911.You could of [sic] asked us about it instead of leaving a nasty note.

related: An eye for an eye, an eyesore for an eyesore

Tags: garbage · neighbors · Oops? · Seattle · stealing

XXX, Mum

November 12th, 2011 · 88 Comments

James in the U.K. recently came home from football practice to discover that, in his absence, his mother had gotten a peek at his Internet browser history (“full of…well, I’m 15, I’m sure you can guess.”) As cool as his mum was about the whole thing, says James, “I still don’t know if I’ll be able to look her in the face for a while.”

Dear James, Yes, your laptop HAS been used - I couldn't find my charger. Sorry. P.S: You should probably delete your search history - your Gran would be shocked. P.P.S: You know Internet Explorer has a mode for stuff like that, it's called Incognito Mode, I think. Happy viewing! Lots of love, Mum. XOXO

Dear James, Yes, your laptop HAS been used - I couldn't find my charger. Sorry. P.S: You should probably delete your search history - your Gran would be shocked. P.P.S: You know Internet Explorer has a mode for stuff like that, it's called Incognito Mode, I think. Happy viewing! Lots of love, Mum. XOXO

“Happy viewing”? Nicely played, Mum.

related: “Sweetie, I saw that Walgreens is having a sale on jumbo-sized rubbers, so of course I thought of you!”

Tags: "helpful" advice · Mother-son notes · Oops? · p.s. · sex sex sex · signed with love · U.K. · xoxo

How NOT to earn great restaurant tips

September 8th, 2011 · 117 Comments

Writes Amber in Minnesota: “My friend works in accounting for a local restaurant chain, and every once in awhile she has to go through credit card receipts if something isn’t adding up correctly. She’s found some pretty interesting gems, but this one takes the cake.”

I'm not pregnant, but thanks for the "eating for two" comment.

[Adds the Not-Pregnant Notewriter: THANKS FOR THE 'TAKES THE CAKE' COMMENT, AMBER. REALLY.]

related: Please don’t take this the wrong way, but mind your own damn business.

Tags: etiquette · Minneapolis/St. Paul · Minnesota · Oops? · preggers · restaurant

Next time, I’ll burn the mail.

June 23rd, 2011 · 110 Comments

Jillian and her roommates in Massachusetts recently found this note — which goes from 0 to 60 in half a page — outside their apartment door. At the time it was left, says Jillian: “None of us were home except the dog, who apparently needs to lose weight.”

But hey, neighbor? Even if they had been home, ignoring a knock hardly seems grounds for jumping straight to burning the mail. Apparently it is not a good month for chilling the fuck out.

Out of the kindness of my heart, I chose to bring the mail to your door in person, after it was wrongfully delivered to me. You ignored my knocks, while your obese feet tromp along our ceiling, unable to hide. Next time, I'll burn the mail. All actions feed more action. Spite and arrogance breed the same in others. YES. It is a good month to be a bitch.

related: (Don’t Fear) The Creeper

Tags: martyr complex · Massachusetts · mistaken identity · most popular notes of 2011 · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · Oops? · WTF?

I’m not exactly sure what a “pre-warning” is, but it sure sounds serious.

June 22nd, 2011 · 54 Comments

Roslyn in Houston found this note under her roommate’s windshield wiper just over a month after they both moved in. Puzzlingly, she says, “We do not own a rooster, nor have we ever seen or even heard one.”

(In that case, Roslyn, I’d tell your roommate’s boyfriend to pre-watch-out.)

This rooster is a serious problem!!! He is going to get hunted if someone doesn't get rid of him!! Pre-Warning!

related: Cock fight!

Tags: animal welfare · horses, cows, & chickens · Houston · neighbors · Oops? · warning

Bad luck you

June 7th, 2011 · 150 Comments

“My parents have a large front yard,” writes David in Georgia, “and up until a few years ago, it had about 40 trees in it.” Unfortunately, an arborist informed David’s parents that those trees, while they looked normal enough, had become infested and essentially hollowed-out by insects, killing the trees and turning them into a pretty big safety risk in the case of a storm. At the arborist’s recommendation — and I’m sure, at all no small expense — David’s parents had the trees removed.

Fast forward a few months to December, when the family put up their usual holiday decorations — little trees made of Christmas lights — throughout the front yard. Soon after, David says, the family received two items of interest in their mailbox:

1. A certificate of recognition from the Arbor Day Foundation, “thanking us for our efforts to prevent further tree deaths”
2. This handmade holiday card.

Wishing you...

5 years' bad luck for each tree you killed....And if that wasn't bad enough, you have the nerve to make tacky 'trees' out of lights and call it holiday cheer. What's wrong with you? Sadly but sincerely, Your neighbors on Henderson Road

Adds David: “This person obviously put a lot of work into carefully drawing and writing it; the artwork and penmanship are immaculate. If only they’d put as much effort into asking us why we were having the trees removed.”

related: All together now…please don’t climb the tree!

Tags: Christmas · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · Georgia · holiday spirit · neighbors · Oops?

And don’t you DARE clean out the freezer — I have important bills in there!

May 1st, 2011 · 91 Comments

“My roommate is a total slob,” says Elinor in Toronto, so after two weeks away from the apartment, she wasn’t too surprised to see the kitchen piled high with several delightfully fragrant, filled-to-the-brim garbage bags. When she went to throw them out, Elinor discovered one of the bags was actually filled with clothes, so she put that one in her roommate’s room.

The next morning, Elinor found both of these notes slid under her bedroom door.

[note 1:] Dear Elinor, You threw out an important bag of clothes that was in the kitchen. If you don't know what it is, don't touch it. -for FUCK SAKES! [note 2:] Never mind -found it ...sorry

related: Stop! Don’t chute!

Tags: garbage · Oops? · roommates · Toronto · touching

Haterade on the Rocks, with a twist

January 26th, 2011 · 133 Comments

After a night of heavy drinking, Dani in Baltimore woke up with a killer hangover that turned positively murderous when she noticed that her bottle of Gatorade — which she’d been saving in anticipation of her post-hangover re-hydration needs — was missing from the fridge.

Assuming her husband must have taken it, Dani quickly dashed off this exclamation-point-heavy tirade (which, of course, is “passive” only in the sense that she chose to sit down at the keyboard instead of going straight for the butcher knife).

A few hours later, however, says Dani, “I remembered that I had actually drunkenly finished the bottle of Gatorade the night before, in an attempt to avoid said hangover. Oops!”

Why the fuck are you continuing to steal my god damn Gatorade!!!!!!!!!! This is America, not another planet! And just because I write my name on the unopened bottle of Gatorade that is mine does not somehow mean that the open bottle that I've already drank part of is no longer mine!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM!!!!!!!!!!! If you do it again, so help me God I will CHOP YOUR BALLS OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m  hoping this little “oops” was a come-to-Jesus moment for Dani that showed her the error of note-writing ways, but if not…well, Dani’s husband: consider yourself warned. Because seriously, this is America, not another planet!

related: You are on Uncle Paul’s list!

Tags: drizzunk · exclamation-point happy!!!! · not-so-veiled threats · Oops? · questionable logic · sig o