When I read this landlord’s note…
…this is roughly the image that came to mind:
Anyone else?
Entries Tagged as 'opening/closing'
Bad dog! Stop that! Right now!
March 31st, 2011 · 50 Comments
Tags: a little patronizing · exclamation-point happy!!!! · message to all intended for one · opening/closing · sad face · smiley
Please take me at my word that I’ve been working out lately
November 10th, 2010 · 49 Comments
Our anonymous submitter didn’t catch the original note about “slaming [sic] the door,” but you can get a pretty good idea of what it said based on the carefully worded response from the recipient, John (who, like Dustin, simply isn’t aware of his own strength at times).
![Dear Sir or Madam: Hello. Thank you for bringing this matter to my attention. I would like to offer you my most profound apologies for having slammed the door last night. I have to tell you that I honestly wasn't aware that I do this; I always thought that I used a normal amount of force when closing the door, although I have been working out lately. Please take me at my word when I now say that I will be more conscious of my door closing from here forward. However, in the event that you do have more problems with me, I would greatly appreciate it if you were to approach me directly, rather that resort to another hasty and quite confrontational handwritten note that, to be quite frank, had all the potential to be taken as offensive. I am sure that you will understand where I am coming from. Once again, thank you for your correspondence and I appreciate your anticipated co-operation. Most sincerely, John [Redacted] Apt. 108](http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4129/5163961619_39af8abcb7_b.jpg "Dear Sir or Madam: Hello. Thank you for bringing this matter to my attention. I would like to offer you my most profound apologies for having slammed the door last night. I have to tell you that I honestly wasn't aware that I do this; I always thought that I used a normal amount of force when closing the door, although I have been working out lately. Please take me at my word when I now say that I will be more conscious of my door closing from here forward. However, in the event that you do have more problems with me, I would greatly appreciate it if you were to approach me directly, rather that resort to another hasty and quite confrontational handwritten note that, to be quite frank, had all the potential to be taken as offensive. I am sure that you will understand where I am coming from. Once again, thank you for your correspondence and I appreciate your anticipated co-operation. Most sincerely, John [Redacted] Apt. 108")
Meanwhile, this note, as seen by Felix in Atlanta, was clearly left by a neighbor without a law degree.
(I’m guessing a dog; cats are way more passive-aggressive.)
![Dear Neighbor, Please, PLEASE stop by and say hello. We can clear this up right away without having to leave sneaky notes. Thanks! I look forward to chatting [Paw print]](http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2445/3777324196_b43abb47bc.jpg)
related: Door-slamming sign slam
Tags: Atlanta · Illinois · neighbors · noise · non-apology apology · opening/closing · rebuttals · thanks (but not really)
>>Crushing<< is mostly the better term
October 7th, 2010 · 90 Comments
Paul has lived in his apartment in Berlin for 15 months, but this note is the first time he’s heard a single complaint about his door. Especially annoying, Paul says, is the fact that it’s anonymous, “even though it could possibly have been written by only one of two people,” and that it’s written in English, “which most expats would consider an insult.”
Just another example of how — no matter smiley faces you sprinkle throughout — your oh-so-courteous anonymous note is probably just going to leave everyone more “pi**ed off.”
![Dear Neighbours, some people livin here , are really pi**ed about the way, you close your door, when coming/leaving. >>Closing<< is usually the wrong term to describe this. >>Crushing<< is mostly the better term. If your door is broken , let it repair from our beloved [redacted] or Repair it yourself or Use your key to close it in a way, not bothering your neighbors. ....and kindly give this info your visitors too ;-) Greetz & Peace](http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4139/4767057071_7135a658f2.jpg "Dear Neighbours, some people livin here , are really pi**ed about the way, you close your door, when coming/leaving. >>Closing<< is usually the wrong term to describe this. >>Crushing<< is mostly the better term. :-( If your door is broken , let it repair from our beloved [redacted] or Repair it yourself or Use your key to close it in a way, not bothering your neighbors. ....and kindly give this info your visitors too ;-) Greetz & Peace")
related: Wie bitte(r)?
extra credit: “Greetz” [urbandictionary.com]
Tags: Berlin · Clearly a non-native English speaker · comma diarrhea · door-slamming · neighbors · noise · opening/closing · pointlessly self-censored profanity · sad face · smiley
Ain’t that the gospel truth?
March 11th, 2009 · 102 Comments
Chris says this note was slipped under his apartment door by one of his “typically passive-aggressive Seattle neighbors.” And no, he adds, he hadn’t noticed. Perhaps because the door was lacking in aggressively punctuated parenthetical statements!! (Homeowners dues??)
Personally, I am just luuurving the nice little call-and-response rhythm this note has got goin’ on. I eagerly await the OutKast “Rape Burgle Murder” remix!(!!)
related: Everyone: shut it
Tags: confusion??? · exclamation-point happy!!!! · irregular capitalization · neighbors · opening/closing · Seattle · You call that punctuation?
Everyone: shut it.
September 22nd, 2008 · 89 Comments
“The screen door to our block of flats is broken,” says our anonymous submitter in Australia, “which has provoked some rather unique responses from my fellow residents.”
related: But who’s counting?
Tags: Australia · elevator · Jesus · opening/closing · saga
But who’s counting?
March 16th, 2008 · 73 Comments
Writes an anonymous New Yorker: “Our neighbors hate us because we are the youngest in the building. Thus, any malfunction that occurs in the building results in notes directed towards us. And yes, this note was a follow-up to another note (seen at left) also directed at us.”
Happy St. Patrick’s Day, kids!
related: infinite note project
Tags: "helpful" advice · a little patronizing · kids today · neighbors · New York · opening/closing
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