PassiveAggressiveNotes.com » Portland

Isn’t starting middle school torture enough?

Kerry — Sun, 21 Aug 2011 18:22:40 +0000

Hollie in Portland, Oregon spotted this note on the second-floor landing as she was walking up to her apartment.

While I’m usually not in favor of note-leaving when a direct confrontation would do, I give this one a pass — creative spelling and all — because, really, have you ever met a middle schooler without an an attitude? I’d say forcing a kid to make it through eighth grade is enough of an ass-kicking already.

Sure, blame it on the kids

Kerry — Mon, 25 Apr 2011 02:31:23 +0000

“My neighbor taped this note to my door,” says Valerie in Portland. “I don’t know who scratched her car, but I do know she could benefit from spell check.” (Harumph.)

If you’ve ever suspected the tech support staff of acting a little bit passive-aggressive…

Kerry — Tue, 25 Jan 2011 00:06:57 +0000

…well, you’re probably right. (Small acts of passive-aggression are just one of the many coping strategies IT workers employ in order to maintain their own sanity while forced to deal with incredibly, outrageously, mind-bogglingly stupid people like you.)

But if you think you’re being patronized when the Help Desk operator asks you to make sure your power cord is plugged in…well, you’re probably not. (Because — like the 10 other people who called before you complaining “My computer won’t turn on!” — your power cord probably isn’t plugged in.)

Just ask our submitter Jessica, who works the IT Help Desk at a college in Portland, Oregon. Jessica calls this chart, created by fellow help-desker, “a very accurate visual representation of a typical day at work.”

related: Passive-aggressive flowcharts

Area woman shocked by discovery: “service employees have families too?”

Kerry — Wed, 29 Dec 2010 22:57:56 +0000

“We are normally a 24-hour store,” writes our submitter in Portland, Oregon, “but we close early for Christmas.” At least one customer found this policy to be most unsatisfactory — as evidenced by the holiday greeting she left behind.

He likes it with the lights on.

Kerry — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 21:37:30 +0000

For your typographical titillation: a Friday quickie from Liz in Portland…

related: You turned me on and left me.

My bite is worse than your bark

Kerry — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 00:14:49 +0000

Although she’s embarrassed to admit it now, Kristi in Portland confesses that when she wrote this letter, at age 14, she felt oh-so-very-grown-up.

In retrospect, she says, the most ridiculous part — besides the charmingly pretentious tone throughout — is probably the self-made letterhead. “I guess I thought the frog made for a good personal logo or something,” Kristi says. ”To my credit, I didn’t send the letter anonymously…I included my full name (first, middle and last), my address, my phone number AND my e-mail address. I only left off my Social Security number!”

Adds Kristi: “My parents still live next door to these neighbors, and I avoid them to this day! Oh, and yes, they did try to keep their dogs indoors more after I sent the letter.”

related: Your to lazy

Stupid is as stuiped does

Kerry — Thu, 27 May 2010 02:05:54 +0000

CT and his friends were driving home from the beach when they stopped at a gas station in Luverne, Alabama and found this posted next to the men’s bathroom.

“The ‘Danger!’ sign below was apparently the first attempt to keep people from opening this door,” says CT. “God only knows what’s behind it. I’m assuming this door of unspeakable power continued to get opened, prompting the posting of the second sign.”

Hey, I feel your pain, gas station attendant, having to deal with so much stupidity all day long. But — with the help of Rachael in Portland — I think I’ve found someone else who can relate.

Allow me to introduce Lily. She’s 8.

From the department of disgruntled baristas

Kerry — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 02:50:47 +0000

Writes Tim: “I work at one of the better specialty coffee shops in Portland, Oregon. Some people come in knowing that we can prepare a fantastic drink, but don’t actually know what they like or how to order it. And sometimes these people decide to write a note expressing their displeasure instead of simply asking us to remake their drink.”

Adds Tim: “For the record, these two women ordered a 16 oz. caramel latte and a 16 oz. mocha, which are certainly going to be sweeter and less espresso-forward drinks than our more traditional, non-flavored drinks. And if these two actually visited regularly, they would also know that we don’t have 16 oz. ceramic mugs, which means all 16 oz. drinks are served in paper cups.”

So there.

related: An extra bold request

A text from the big guy upstairs (or downstairs)

Kerry — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 01:32:03 +0000

As far as he can tell, Chris in Portland thinks this anonymous text was sent by his downstairs neighbor after a morning of hitting the snooze button one too many times. “Needless to say,” Chris admits, “this was not the first time I had ignored the alarm clock.”

What’s strange, Chris says, is that he has no idea how the neighbor got a hold of his cell phone number. “My only thought is that about a month prior to receiving this text, I left my phone number on a post-it on the front door of the building so the UPS delivery guy could get a hold of me. They must have held onto that number the whole time, just waiting for the absolute breaking point.”

Creepy…but kind of genius, right?

related: recipe for roommate discord

Law & Order: Special Dishes Unit

Kerry — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 02:26:20 +0000

“These are the results of your typical no-one-washes-their-dishes-at-the-office situation,” says our submitter in Portland, Oregon.”There used to be a note above the sink that said “NOT YOUR MAMA,” but it was replaced with these gems, both of which sort of creep me out (and neither of which has ameliorated the dirty dish issue).”

Meanwhile, elsewhere in Oregon…

Three things your health teacher didn’t tell you about herpes

Kerry — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 15:47:56 +0000

(A Passiveaggressivenotes.com public disservice announcement)

1. From Portland, Oregon…

2. From Williamsburg, Virginia…

3. From Miami, Florida…

related: Come get some
extra credit: Herpes: it’s got New York by the balls [nymag.com]

The overly friendly coworker: ruining your day since you held the elevator for her that one time

Kerry — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 14:00:56 +0000

Homero in Portland had just finished heating up his lunch in the office microwave when he returned to his desk to find this “helpful” note — attached to an ad from the local alt-weekly — waiting on his chair. Though it’s unsigned, he says he’s pretty sure he knows which coworker left it for him. “She’s kind of socially stunted, but seems to think that a) she’s very funny and b) we’re BFF,” Homero says. “Um…no.”

related: WoW, indeed

WoW, indeed.

kerry — Fri, 23 Nov 2007 05:56:37 +0000

You might think a hermit-like Warcraft addict would make the ideal roommate (no noisy sex, no hogging the remote…) but as this little piece of passive-aggressive gold demonstrates, there are some other issues to contend with. Like, say, the stench.

(From an anonymous submitter in Portland, Oregon.)

related: Let me help you out

Sophisticated dryers use silverware when they eat your socks

Kerry — Wed, 19 Sep 2007 04:37:23 +0000

Our anonymous submitter spotted this note on a resident’s door in an apartment complex in Portland, oregon. Oddly, she says, this resident lives alone.

Meanwhile, James’s roommate found in the laundry room of his Sacramento apartment complex.