PassiveAggressiveNotes.com » toilet paper

Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

Kerry — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 01:17:04 +0000

Shaun in Austin spotted this mysterious complaint in the men’s room at his office. (Apparently all of the males employed there are very, very sensitive.)

Your Ultra Charmin Neighbor

Kerry — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 20:44:04 +0000

Writes our submitter in Philadelphia: “In our apartment building, packages are left by the block of mailboxes, relatively near where your individual mailbox is. I’ve never had a problem, but apparently not everyone was so lucky…this sign was on every floor of the building.”

related: I hope your cat chokes.

The Toilet Paper Manifesto

Kerry — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 06:58:10 +0000

When four people share one bathroom, true equity in toilet-paper purchasing is nearly impossible to come by without conflict.

Just take a look at the opening salvo issued at Laura’s apartment in Georgia:

…and the first response:

Your move, “Scott.”

The old “wipe & walk” trick

Kerry — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 03:04:26 +0000

Option a) “Hey, Iva, could you buy some TP? We’re out.”

Option b) Several weeks of seething funneled into eight six colored markers’ worth of heart exclamation point smiley THREAT heart heart.

And the winner is…

Gee, Bell, that IS funny, cuz you really threw me off with that “I hope you had a nice day!! <3 ” shit. (I’M ACTUALLY KIDDING. I WILL CUT YOU.)

Now, if we could all just take our own advice…

Kerry — Sat, 27 Aug 2011 17:31:34 +0000

Really, some people are just better off living alone.

Presented in order of appearance:

Toy-let Story

Kerry — Tue, 31 May 2011 04:06:10 +0000

Beth in London says this is only the most recent in a series of sad/hungry/angry household items created by one of her flatmates. “We’re all fairly disorganised,” she admits, “but one guy, possibly fearful of confrontation, prefers to avoid addressing any issues directly.”

Adds Beth: “A loo-roll holder with eyes is not a very appealing bathroom companion, by the way.”

Meanwhile, elsewhere in the United Kingdom, one of Emma’s flatmates decided to take a similarly cartoonish approach to their toilet troubles.

It’s not rocket science.

Kerry — Thu, 31 Mar 2011 01:27:28 +0000

Our submitter in Huntsville, Alabama says one of her male co-workers shared this note from the men’s restroom at their office. “And yes,” she says, “we really do work for NASA.”

By the way, if you’re traveling to Indonesia any time soon, you can pick up some papier-mâché materials of your very own!

extra credit: Mary Roach explains “fecal decapitation” and other toilet issues astronauts encounter in space [thedailyshow.com]

Headed to New Orleans for Mardi Gras?

Kerry — Tue, 08 Mar 2011 17:24:33 +0000

Well, ladies, you might want to bring your own TP. (Or carpet, as the case may be.) Erin from Baton Rouge says the bathroom/plumbing situation in New Orleans during Mardi Gras is the worst. At least at this bar they give you fair warning, eh?

related: Toilet Paper Poetry Slam

Mario’s response: “Mamma Mia! I’m a plumber, not a janitor!”

Kerry — Wed, 23 Feb 2011 00:19:59 +0000

Like the angry woman/women who wrote this note, Katie in Lexington, Kentucky works on the third floor of her building — but she’s never noticed any problems with the custodian’s work.

“Sure, sometimes a stall runs out of toilet paper, but within a couple of hours, he has refilled them,” she says. And besides: “I, for one, would prefer that Mario doesn’t hang out all afternoon in the women’s bathroom.” So, notewriter…maybe it’s time to take your massive craps elsewhere, hmm?

extra credit: Luigi finally snaps [CollegeHumor.com]

If you don’t read this, the terrorists win! Do you hate America?

Kerry — Wed, 22 Dec 2010 19:54:39 +0000

Did you hear? Jack Bauer is back again! He’s now working unofficially as the head of the Cubicle Counter Terrorism Unit. And apparently, he gets his best propaganda ideas right here at PAN!

(Thanks to Lisa in Utah, Tyler in Texas, Michael in Ohio and Sleepy Engineer in Virginia for their submissions!)

Just back away, slowly

Kerry — Tue, 19 Oct 2010 21:39:34 +0000

You’d think, as Jen from St. Louis did, that this carefully typed message (from the public toilet at the Golden Gate Bridge), is indisputably good advice.

But as Kim observed while studying abroad on the Caribbean island of St. Maarten, there’s an exception (explosion?) to every rule.

related: Poseidon’s a pervert

What’s harder than changing the toilet paper roll?

Kerry — Fri, 01 Oct 2010 01:23:03 +0000

Well…lots of stuff.

And yet, somehow, the employees at this office in Edmonton still can’t quite make TP happen. (Maybe wrestling grizzlies is more their forte?)

Perhaps a visual aid (like this one from a Los Angeles apartment share) would be helpful?

Or maybe just a bit more encouragement would push someone over the edge?

(Probably not, though.)

Toilet Paper Poetry Slam

Kerry — Tue, 21 Sep 2010 01:53:03 +0000

Which is your favorite ode to replacing the roll?

Entry #1, from Baltimore?

Entry #2, from New Orleans?

or Entry #3, from Long Island City?

related: Scatological poetry slam

The Toilet Paper Ministry

Kerry — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 02:28:49 +0000

Hey, look — it’s almost the entire 12-step program in one note! I especially like the abridged version: “To the idiot who stole: the world is your oyster.”