Entries Tagged as 'passive voice'

It’s hard out there for a tanning salon owner

August 6th, 2013 · 37 Comments

As if the clients pissing in the trash cans weren’t enough…the owner of this tanning salon in Boston also can’t afford spellcheck.

I fired the fat, ugly, pig for stealing from me This inconvenience was brought about by her Sorry  Will reopen soon

related: In case you were wondering why we’re closed

Tags: Boston · don't blame us · fired · opening/closing · passive voice · spelling and grammar police · TMI

The neighborhood warning wagon

September 28th, 2010 · 157 Comments

Upon moving into their new college house this fall, Danny and his roommates at Boston College received this delightfully punctuated welcome letter from their next door neighbor — delivered via U.S. Postal Service, no less.

I, for one, can’t wait ’til the Ben Affleck adaptation comes out. We’ll have a “late night beer party” to celebrate!

Welcome to our neighborhood, I just wanted to let you know, that your house has been over the years had really bad police reports on late nigh beer parties! (10 PM to almost all night) Please keep in mind that this neighborhood will not tolerate "late night parties" Which includes: yelling, talking loud on back porches and your back yard and loud friends that visit! Especially this Labor Day Weekend! I understand that you college kids like to drink and have fun, but! After 10 PM if noise is too loud, police will be called, there are alot of elderly, kids and families in this area that will not tolerate this bullshit! I know Bill Mills very well (BC College) and if you guys "act up"! Calls will be made! Please show some respect in our neighborhood and keep the noise level low! If not! Police will be called! Have a good school year and be good neighbors, ok?

(P.S.) THIS INCLUDES

related: Passive voice abuse

Tags: alot · beer · Boston · CAPS LOCK · college life · crazypants · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · high on highlighter · I'm telling on you! · kids today · most popular notes of 2010 · neighbors · noise · p.s. · passive voice · smiley · spelling and grammar police · unnecessary "quotation marks" · warning · You call that punctuation?

Don’t blame us

July 28th, 2009 · 158 Comments

Exhibit a) Spotted at a laundromat in Silver Lake by Jessica in Los Angeles…

Don't BLAME Us If there aren't any paper towels!!! We do our best to have a clean well run Laundromat for you to do your laundry. But, someone is: STEALING PAPER TOWELS. Taking a bunch of towels off the dispenser and taking them home. Can you believe it???? So, if there aren't towels when you need one, now you know why. Thank you.

Exhibit b) From Ronnie’s Diner, also in LA.., by Valerie:

No dogs on the patio. Thanks to the crazy lady that called the health department. Mean people suck.

Exhibit c) From Barnacle Bill’s in Sarasota, Florida:

We regret not being able to provide these products: MILLER LITE, HEINEKEN, AMSTEL LITE, COORS LITE, FOSTERS, SAM ADAMS due to extremely poor customer service by J.J. Taylor.

Exhibit d) From, as Miranda explains, ” the local ‘community thrift store’ in Dahlonega, Georgia, where everything is donated, and all the people who work there…are volunteers. Raising the prices to compensate for the volunteers’ efforts? Makes TONS of sense to me!”
Due to shoppers not willing to put things they look at back as they found them the price is being increased due to the time spent by volunteers trying to organize room

But (because the decision had to be made) I would say that this  final note — spotted by Rusty at a B&B in Newfoundland — is my absolute favorite.

LAUNDRY IS NO LONGER AVAILABLE. SORRY Due to Circumstances, the Decision HAD TO BE MADE.

related: When you can’t blame the dog

Tags: "customer service" · CAPS LOCK · confusion??? · excessive underlining · high on highlighter · laundry · passive voice · public shaming

Passive (voice) abuse

December 17th, 2007 · 155 Comments

Amber received this amazing note in an envelope on her doorstep in Sacramento. “I have no idea which neighbor sent this to me, but I can only assume it was the paranoid-looking woman who lives above me,” she says. “But I don’t do drugs. I don’t even smoke cigarettes!”

I suspect illicit drug use

related: Don’t hate the playa

Tags: a little uptight · drugs · holiday spirit · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · odor · passive voice · Sacramento

“If it wasn’t for the toilet, there would be no books”

November 21st, 2007 · 117 Comments

Reading in the bathroom is one thing…but kicking back with a purloined Snapple? Tbat’s one step too far for this food service establishment, as spotted by Jenny in Washington, D.C.

*Attention Customers* Recently we have experienced customers stealing drinks and consuming them in our bathroom. We kindly ask that you stop this as we do not tolerate stealers in our store. If this continues to proceed, right course of action will be taken to stop this violation immediately. Thank you.

You gotta love that passive voice! Any kindly guesses re: the crossed-out word?

Tags: "customer service" · bathroom · high on highlighter · not-so-veiled threats · passive voice · restaurant · stealing

Hendrix is the cat

June 21st, 2007 · 43 Comments

No lols from this feline — just some lovely passive voice!

Our house is dirty. Cleaning needs to be done. Thanx, Hendrix

(Thanx to Megan in Michigan for submitting.)

related: Does the floor have the capability of sweeping itself?

 

Tags: cats · cleaning · Michigan · passive voice · roommates · signed with love · whiteboard