PassiveAggressiveNotes.com » Pennsylvania

Your Ultra Charmin Neighbor

Kerry — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 20:44:04 +0000

Writes our submitter in Philadelphia: “In our apartment building, packages are left by the block of mailboxes, relatively near where your individual mailbox is. I’ve never had a problem, but apparently not everyone was so lucky…this sign was on every floor of the building.”

related: I hope your cat chokes.

Jesus is my copilot…and my home security system.

Kerry — Fri, 18 Mar 2011 03:44:54 +0000

Gloria in Pennsylvania spotted this warning — sort of a New Testament twist on the old “lamb’s blood on the doorpost” trick — posted on a neighbor’s apartment door.

Now, maybe it’s because I’m a godless heathen, but if I ever took up a life of crime, I think I might find this sign from a West Virginia convenience store (as photographed by Matt in Brooklyn) just a bit more convincing.

Stop “blocking your blessing”

Kerry — Fri, 04 Feb 2011 04:19:11 +0000

Jo spotted this testimony in a restroom at the University of the Sciences in Philadelphia.

I guessing this particular portion of the Gospel of (the) John was lost in translation from the Greek or some such — a shame, cause “God doesn’t like ugly” would make a great protest sign.

“You gave me an F? I’m reporting you to the FDA!”

Kerry — Wed, 26 Jan 2011 04:46:53 +0000

Near the start of the semester, a classmate (or, rather, a former classmate) of our submitter sent this this huffy message of “warm regards” to everyone on the course listserv. ”I guess someone doesn’t know how to unsubscribe from Yahoo Groups,” our submitter says. “Instead, by posting this message, she ‘flooded’ all of our inboxes.” And that is not a good thing.

I, for one, would LOVE to see this girl’s complaint to the FCC. I envision a bright future for her writing blustery cease & desist letters as an attorney-at-LOL until retiring to concentrate on angry letters to the editor.

May your New Year be very prosperous…so you can tip me better next time.

Kerry — Mon, 03 Jan 2011 18:25:58 +0000

Shawn in Pennsylvania found this oh-so-subtly guilt-trippy thank you note tucked inside his Sunday paper. (“Apparently our paper delivery person is hoping for bigger and better tips in 2011,” he says.)

related: If you don’t tip you’re racist

A solid argument for liquid soap

Kerry — Tue, 21 Dec 2010 20:33:28 +0000

When men and women are forced to share a bathroom, our submitter in Philadelphia explains, “sometimes gentle reminders are needed to keep the household hygiene at an acceptable level.”

And as Meghan the intern discovered during a summer gig in New York City, sometimes those gentle reminders bear repeating at the office, too.

related: Rocketpubes.com

Jukebox Justice

Kerry — Mon, 06 Dec 2010 22:37:33 +0000

Our submitter, a bartender in D.C., might not be the world’s biggest Mariah Carey fan, but when a group of customers put “All I Want for Christmas is You,” on the jukebox last Saturday night, he didn’t complain. But when the same group queued the song up again — three times in a row — he invoked his bartender’s privilege and skipped it. After all, he says, “It was DECEMBER 4th. I gave them their money back, but they still kept calling me ‘Grinch.’”

I have to step in here and note that, yes, that song is like crack — once you’re hooked, one hit is never enough. But that’s when you go home and spend the 99 cents to download it so you can indulge your addiction on endless repeat without coughing up a quarter every time. However, money management not being the forte of most addicts, at the end of the night the holiday-happy patrons left behind this oh-so-classy note in lieu of a tip.

That very same weekend, meanwhile, Amy noticed that the bartender at one of her local haunts in Murrysville, Pennsylvania has taken a proactive approach to this particular problem. “Normally a super friendly place, I was sooo tempted to play ‘Don’t Stop Believin’ just to see what they would do.” (Instead, she held on to that feeling — privately — and took a picture.)

extra credit: Jukebox Etiquette 101

A not-so-subtle clue that your coworker isn’t interested in cubicle small talk

Kerry — Mon, 25 Oct 2010 02:42:16 +0000

Writes our submitter in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania: “A woman in my office was recently relocated to a new cubicle, apparently against her will. I don’t really know her, but I guess now I know not what not to use as an ice breaker!”

“Really, Honey. Take your time!”

Kerry — Fri, 09 Apr 2010 05:01:38 +0000

Gail in Pennsylvania says the Ann Taylor Loft store at her local mall has a small table stocked with paper and crayons — “an offering to the busy mother who has been forced to bring her pesky little children along for a shopping trip.”

When she took a closer look at the table’s scribblings, however, she had to chuckle at the sitcom-like image of a grown man stuffed into one those kiddie-sized chairs. Adds Gail: “I wonder if Greg’s wife ever saw her wonderful husband’s little PA note to the world? Well, here’s her chance!”

Raging against the little guy

Kerry — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 02:26:48 +0000

Kellye from Huntsville, Alabama spotted these notes posted on boarded-up diner during last month’s G20 summit in Pittsburgh.

Explains Kellye: “The broken windows were caused by a few rowdy anarchists/drunk college kids from Oakland who apparently missed the mark in their defiance of the man. Since the vandals represented only a very small cross-section of protesters involved, other more local-friendly civil disobedients apparently saw fit to apologize for in their stead and offer their respectful patronage.”

related: silent protest

Oh! Shit!

Kerry — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 13:40:24 +0000

Writes Stephanie in Lubbock, Texas: “One day at work, there were four or five of these bulletins posted above all bathroom trash cans, with an additional flyer posted in the ‘memos’ section on the bulletin board. There’s such rage in her bulletin, it’s like she personally found crap resting on a pile of paper towels.”

Meanwhile, our submitter in Pennsylvania explains: “There are only three of us who use this bathroom, so obviously one of the other two people had a problem with me not adequately spraying the sickly-sweet ‘odor masker’ that doesn’t do anything other than mix with the ambient scent in the restroom to make it smell even worse than it might otherwise.”

Adds our submitter: “Oh, also, this sign went up when I had only four days left working here. I have a pretty good idea how i’ll be ‘celebrating’ my last day.”

just another picture to burn

Kerry — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 04:45:46 +0000

our anonymous submitter in pittsburgh says this note was sitting atop a copy-room filing cabinet — and a stack of 50 or so identical print-outs of the jo bros. “guess someone in the office is on team taylor swift!”

related: let’s not mince words

extra credit: taylor swift’s passive-aggressive swipe at joe jonas [youtube]

The right to bear fruit

Kerry — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 22:14:04 +0000

Three U.S. cities where nature-lovers might want to keep their hands to themselves:

1. Austin, Texas

2. Macon, Georgia

3. Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

(Thanks to Don in Austin, Elizabeth in Macon, and Jasmine in Pittsburgh for risking the wrath of some devoted gardening/second amendment enthusiasts to document these warnings.)

related: No “questions” asked

Passive-aggressive mad libs

Kerry — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 19:56:49 +0000

This note from a “friendly neighbor” was put through the mailslot of Dan’s apartment in the heart of South Philly. Says Dan: “I wanted to put ‘thanks for the advice!’ on the door in response, but thought better of it.”

As infuriating as the note was, “I do love how they phoned in the underlining on ‘of’ and ‘the,’ then went to town with ‘curb,’” Dan says. “Thank you, friendly neighbor, for the best piece of bulletin board material I’ve ever gotten.”

related: two birds with one snowman