Entries Tagged as 'flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens'

Another year without the Great Pumpkin

October 17th, 2013 · 43 Comments

Well, it’s that time of year again…time for heartless hooligans to smash pumpkins (and with them, the hearts of small, gourd-loving children).

David in California spotted this sign next to a small field of corn and pumpkins located next to a popular public jogging trail.

Whoever stole the Big Pumpkin you broke a little boy's heart

related: It’s hard out there for a pumpkin.

Tags: California · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · Halloween · stealing · Won't somebody think of the children?

The story of STUPID CAT

September 19th, 2013 · 85 Comments

Before you cry “FAKE!” — I would have filed this away in the “too-good-to-be-true,” pile, had not Deniz in Ontario stepped forward to admit that he is the mad man behind this posters. Explains Deniz: “I made this flyer because I had had enough of this STUPID CAT wrecking my flowers and window screen, but in the end all it accomplished was making my boyfriend think I was crazy. Oh, and I put my real phone number on it (stupid).”

I’ve gotta say, Deniz, you had me at “photo of similar looking cat.” This is my favorite crazypants submission in a long, long time.

WHOSE STUPID CAT IS THIS??? (photo of similar looking cat)  If you know whose STUPID CAT this is, contact 705-XXX-XXXX with information.  Your stupid female grey and cream cat with a PINK collar keeps squashing my plants and ATTACKING my window screen to bug my well behaved indoor cat.  PLEASE do something about your STUPID CAT or I WILL NOT BE NICE.

Adds Deniz: “The STUPID CAT still remains at large. I have given up on planting flowers.”

related: Beware of barking mad cat lovers!

Tags: cats · crazypants · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · most popular notes of 2013 · Ontario

Hotheads & potheads

September 18th, 2013 · 23 Comments

Move it along, stoners…

This is a Hibiscus plant Do not cut! This is not a marijuana plant! Cutting anymore from this irreplaceable plant will KILL it!

And while you’re at it…

This is my pot. Wash it NOW.

(Thanks to Cindy in Spokane and Anonymous in Queens submitting!)

related: Yo, hemphead!

Tags: dishes · drugs · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens

The Considerate Thief

July 2nd, 2013 · 42 Comments

Chelsea in Canada was biking past her neighbo(u)r’s lawn when she saw this sign, and the sheer Canadian-ness of it made her laugh so hard she nearly fell off her bike. (Chelsea then apologized to her handlebars, the asphalt, and the world in general before snapping this photo and continuing, politely, on her way.)

Happy Belated Canada Day, everyone!

If you steal our rhubarb, pull the root out with the stem. When you chop the stem at the base, the rhubarb doesn't grow back. Please be a considerate thief.

related: Canadian is Angry; Still Says “Thank You”

 

Tags: Canada · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · most popular notes of 2013 · painfully polite · stealing

With some fava beans and a nice Chianti

June 9th, 2013 · 24 Comments

“It would appear my co-worker is sensitive to her plant being moved,” writes Claire in the U.K.

Move this plant and i will eat your liver. Love Jess xx

Meanwhile, in New York…

To the person that leaves a disgusting mess on the seat. If you don't stop, this person will find you and eat your liver with fava beans and a nice Chianti. So cut it out!

And in Baltimore…

PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH This is BBQ HUMAN meat and by eating this you are admitting to the office that you are a cannibal

related: Pigs do not eat bacon

Tags: flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · moving/not moving · not-so-veiled threats · office · office fridge · toilet

Hellfire & arthritis

April 21st, 2013 · 45 Comments

An eye for an eye, I understand. But a flower for joint inflammation?

You stole my sunflowers? God punished you with ARTHRITIS! Cheers!

(Thanks to Sandra in Los Angeles for submitting!)

related: No, He uses Vaseline.

Tags: flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · God · Los Angeles · stealing

Holy hydrangeas, Batman!

April 2nd, 2013 · 96 Comments

Stephen in Eugene, Oregon rode by this house on his bike and was a block away before he realized he had to go back and take a photo for posterity. “I question who is the good neighbor here,” Stephan says. “I suspect this is about more than just the hydrangeas. But maybe they just really want room to park another car on the lawn.”

BE A GOOD NEIGHBOR! :) Remove the OVERGROWN TREE!

related: And bad fences make bad neighbors?

Tags: flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · neighbors · Oregon · public shaming

Well, you sure showed them.

January 14th, 2013 · 16 Comments

Are you feeling sorry yet?? Well?!?!

My real flowers were stolen so here are some cheap fake one jerks!!

related: Only the city of San Diego can move our garbage cans!

Tags: flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · stealing

When Canadians snap

January 3rd, 2013 · 56 Comments

This one was spotted by Liz from British Columbia in what she describes as “a popular drinkin’ park often featuring empty Colt .45 cans.”

Merry Christmas!!! To the individual that ended the life of this 13 year-old old growth sitka spruce. It was nurturesd with love & care from a sapling planted here to honour the birth of my daughter. I can only assume it now stands in your living room to live out its last hours so that you and yours can mark Christmas. YOU are what is wrong with this world. You are more disgusting than the dog shit you left behind. YOU take this on your conscience. YOU deserve nothing. YOU are now CURSED. Do us all a favour & DIE.

related: What kind of person steals flowers from a grave?

Tags: British Columbia · Canada · die bitch die · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens

There’s stealing candy from children, and then there’s…this.

November 8th, 2012 · 37 Comments

“How low do you have to go to steal flowers from someone’s grave?” wonders Ash in East Lansing, Michigan.

Please do not steal my father's flowers again. He did not do anything to you. Shame!

At the very least, I suppose, you’ve have to be someone untroubled by the prospect of being publicly chided or privately haunted. In Providence, Rhode Island, Moira noticed that the flowers at this memorial had very recently been dug up again.

To the Person(s) who has stolen the flowers from this bench at least twice this summer: These flowers were placed as a rememberance of Sheryl Jacobson and Maggie who are memorialized by this bench.  They were donated by a private person for the enjoyment of everyone who uses the park. You are not stealing from the city, but from the people who care about the beauty of this park. Shame on you! May the spirits of Sheryl and Maggie haunt you for your selfishness.

related: Rolling over in his grave

extra credit: “Man arrested for stealing flowers off graves to give to girlfriend”

Tags: flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · kinda creepy · Michigan · public shaming · stealing