Entries Tagged as 'flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens'

Hellfire & arthritis

April 21st, 2013 · 45 Comments

An eye for an eye, I understand. But a flower for joint inflammation?

You stole my sunflowers? God punished you with ARTHRITIS! Cheers!

(Thanks to Sandra in Los Angeles for submitting!)

related: No, He uses Vaseline.

Tags: flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · God · Los Angeles · stealing

Holy hydrangeas, Batman!

April 2nd, 2013 · 96 Comments

Stephen in Eugene, Oregon rode by this house on his bike and was a block away before he realized he had to go back and take a photo for posterity. “I question who is the good neighbor here,” Stephan says. “I suspect this is about more than just the hydrangeas. But maybe they just really want room to park another car on the lawn.”

BE A GOOD NEIGHBOR! :) Remove the OVERGROWN TREE!

related: And bad fences make bad neighbors?

Tags: flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · neighbors · Oregon · public shaming

Well, you sure showed them.

January 14th, 2013 · 16 Comments

Are you feeling sorry yet?? Well?!?!

My real flowers were stolen so here are some cheap fake one jerks!!

related: Only the city of San Diego can move our garbage cans!

Tags: flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · stealing

When Canadians snap

January 3rd, 2013 · 56 Comments

This one was spotted by Liz from British Columbia in what she describes as “a popular drinkin’ park often featuring empty Colt .45 cans.”

Merry Christmas!!! To the individual that ended the life of this 13 year-old old growth sitka spruce. It was nurturesd with love & care from a sapling planted here to honour the birth of my daughter. I can only assume it now stands in your living room to live out its last hours so that you and yours can mark Christmas. YOU are what is wrong with this world. You are more disgusting than the dog shit you left behind. YOU take this on your conscience. YOU deserve nothing. YOU are now CURSED. Do us all a favour & DIE.

related: What kind of person steals flowers from a grave?

Tags: British Columbia · Canada · die bitch die · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens

There’s stealing candy from children, and then there’s…this.

November 8th, 2012 · 37 Comments

“How low do you have to go to steal flowers from someone’s grave?” wonders Ash in East Lansing, Michigan.

Please do not steal my father's flowers again. He did not do anything to you. Shame!

At the very least, I suppose, you’ve have to be someone untroubled by the prospect of being publicly chided or privately haunted. In Providence, Rhode Island, Moira noticed that the flowers at this memorial had very recently been dug up again.

To the Person(s) who has stolen the flowers from this bench at least twice this summer: These flowers were placed as a rememberance of Sheryl Jacobson and Maggie who are memorialized by this bench.  They were donated by a private person for the enjoyment of everyone who uses the park. You are not stealing from the city, but from the people who care about the beauty of this park. Shame on you! May the spirits of Sheryl and Maggie haunt you for your selfishness.

related: Rolling over in his grave

extra credit: “Man arrested for stealing flowers off graves to give to girlfriend”

Tags: flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · kinda creepy · Michigan · public shaming · stealing

It’s not an argument; it’s a discussion.

October 7th, 2012 · 63 Comments

Explains Melissa in Virginia: “As many couples probably do, my fiancé and I have had an ongoing discussion about his propensity to leave cabinet doors and drawers open.” Melissa insists she’s not aggravated by the open cabinets — she just feels the need to bring the issue to his attention.

Then, last week, Melissa was thrilled to receive a beautiful flower arrangement at her office. “Then I opened the damn card!”

Hi Honey, I closed a cabinet door just now and thought of you.  Love, Steve

related: Really, though — carnations?

Tags: flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · love & marriage · most popular notes of 2012 · Northern Virginia · opening/closing

Hide your kids, hide your wife, hide your veggies

September 9th, 2012 · 35 Comments

This is not a passive-aggressive note, this is not a joke — this is a public service announcement, brought to us by Sarah in Seattle.

(No, it’s not as crazy as this, but darn, those tomatoes are cute.)

Attention Beacon Hill! There is a TOMATO THIEF on the prowl. TWO GIANT CHERRY TOMATO PLANTS WERE KIDNAPPED in the night. Be on the lookout. Lock up your veggies! This is not a joke! A public service announcement.

related: To the tomato thief: YOU WIN

extra credit: Tomato thief, busted

Tags: anthropomorphism · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · Seattle

The potted pot plant thief

July 18th, 2012 · 26 Comments

“This was posted on the elevator door in my building,” says Konstantin in NYC. “It refers to the marijuana plant left in a pot right in front of the building for over a week. I love my neighbors…”

Psst, Whiteboy — perhaps a guard dog is in order?

To the person that took the weed plant! It was not TRASH It belong to me (Whiteboy) please Bring it back down. I will eventually find out. Just bring it down.

Meanwhile, in Seattle…

Hey! Those pots were not FREE! give them back!

related: The Orchid Thief

Tags: drugs · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · New York · stealing

Vandalism is offensive…and painful.

July 15th, 2012 · 85 Comments

Here’s how Carter in San Francisco tells the story: “It was my birthday, and after everyone else wanted to go to bed, I wanted to take an adventure. Being wasted, though, I didn’t make it past the second step. Instead, I fell down a flight of stairs straight into a plant, breaking off two branches.”

When he awoke the next morning, not only was he bruised and hungover, he was also an offensive vandal. As it turns out, however, an apologetic one — the pink note is his. He also shelled out $22 for a pretty new plant. (That’s something we don’t see too often around these parts…)

Vandalism is offensive! Respect other people's property!  1) Sorry about your plant 2) I accidentally fell down the stairs into it, breaking it 3) I didn't mean to 4) Assuming vandalism is offensive 5) Here's another plant because I feel bad

related: Arboreal abuse

Tags: drizzunk · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · Oops?

Game of Thorns

June 20th, 2012 · 19 Comments

Dear Notewriter: Clearly, you’re not a scholar of Indian religious traditions, so just FYI: “Karma” doesn’t translate from the Sanskrit as “sword-wielding mercenary” or “the guy Liam Neeson played in Taken.”

To the asshole who stole my PLANTS: KARMA WILL FIND YOU AND IT WILL KILL YOU!

(Also, the Knight of Flowers is offended by your insinuations.)

Thanks to Hannah in Oakland for submitting!

related: The Orchid (and Daffodil, and Begonia) Thief

Tags: die bitch die · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · karma's a bitch · Oakland · stealing