This is not a passive-aggressive note, this is not a joke — this is a public service announcement, brought to us by Sarah in Seattle.

(No, it’s not as crazy as this, but darn, those tomatoes are cute.)

related: To the tomato thief: YOU WIN

extra credit: Tomato thief, busted

“This was posted on the elevator door in my building,” says Konstantin in NYC. “It refers to the marijuana plant left in a pot right in front of the building for over a week. I love my neighbors…”

Psst, Whiteboy — perhaps a guard dog is in order?

Meanwhile, in Seattle…

related: The Orchid Thief

Here’s how Carter in San Francisco tells the story: “It was my birthday, and after everyone else wanted to go to bed, I wanted to take an adventure. Being wasted, though, I didn’t make it past the second step. Instead, I fell down a flight of stairs straight into a plant, breaking off two branches.”

When he awoke the next morning, not only was he bruised and hungover, he was also an offensive vandal. As it turns out, however, an apologetic one — the pink note is his. He also shelled out $22 for a pretty new plant. (That’s something we don’t see too often around these parts…)

related: Arboreal abuse

Dear Notewriter: Clearly, you’re not a scholar of Indian religious traditions, so just FYI: “Karma” doesn’t translate from the Sanskrit as “sword-wielding mercenary” or “the guy Liam Neeson played in Taken.”

(Also, the Knight of Flowers is offended by your insinuations.)

Thanks to Hannah in Oakland for submitting!

related: The Orchid (and Daffodil, and Begonia) Thief

She likes her humor like she likes her cactus: dry.

related: “Just feed me to the cat.”

It’s a PAN miracle! After reaching a hilltop on a holiday hike, Mary in Phoenix found this decorated desert tree.

Upon closer inspection, Mary noticed this (only slightly cranky) message from “Merry Terry.”

Altogether now, everyone…

related: Thank You Terry!

David spotted this oh-so-charming scene while cycling through the well-to-do area of Hampstead, London.

Adds David: “The completely knackered fence is in front of an overgrown plot and right next door to a well looked-after house (possibly owned by old folk who are convinced the neighbourhood has gone to ruin.”)

Meanwhile, Alison was a bit perplexed by this note (and the seemingly undisturbed hedge below) in West Hampstead. “I stared at the hedge for ages trying to work out what was wrong with it,” she says. “Finally I just took a picture and ran away.”

related: An eye for an eye, an eyesore for an eyesore

extra credit: An American’s Guide to Britishisms [effingpot.com]

Amy and her cousin were enjoying a casual stroll in Toronto when they noticed this note in a neighbor’s garden — a note which Amy says left her with far more questions than answers.

I’d have to agree with Amy that the stand-out line here is the one towards the end about whether the tomato thief ever makes racist or ageist remarks. (Because…huh?)

Adds Amy: “The lack of grammar made me think that ‘young people’ were a new racial group. And why does the note-writer beg the thief to at least return ONE of the stolen tomatoes  — because it’s so precious? And is the last line a threat of being infected by Asian lily beetle poison? I don’t get it!”

related: People of Philadelphia, these tomatoes are not for you!