Entries Tagged as 'flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens'
Maya in the U.K. spotted this magnanimous display on a garden wall on her way home, in a neighborhood “that must be simply full of hundreds of passive-aggressive middle class Brits.” Says Maya: ”I was tempted to steal the daffodils myself, but refrained.”
Meanwhile, Greg’s neighbor in Washington, D.C. decided to go with even an more straight-ahead guilt-trippy approach.
Lastly, Fern spotted this scarily upbeat FYI while vacationing in Key West, Florida. (Adds Fern: “We think the flower just died.”)
related: Three cities where nature-lovers might want to keep their hands to themselves
P.S. Before settling for a ho-hum Susan Orleans reference, I must admit that when writing this post, I tried — and failed — to come up with an worthy Wordworths-riffing title. In light of my lack of inspiration, I was especially delighted by this bit of brilliance from shwo! in the comments section:
I wandered slyly as a thief
Who flows on low o’er gutter spills,
When all at once I saw a leaf,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the porch, beneath the trees,
I think I will be stealing these.
Tags: D.C. · Florida · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · guilt trip · karma's a bitch · smiley · stealing · U.K.
At least three New Yorkers have independently spotted and submitted this sign in Windsor Terrace, Brooklyn, so I figured it’s time to give it a proper showing. (Submitter Adam took several photos from a variety of angles, so you can a picture of the whole scene.)
Amanda also provided some color commentary. “The ‘plants’ in question are the small jungle encroaching from the right of the photo,” she says. “Honestly, without the sign, the property would have just looked abandoned. Now it looks more like the home of a crotchety hermit.”
And our anonymous submitter, who happens to live less than a block away from these two houses, even did a little extra detective work. “I’ve tried and tried to find out the back story,” he says, “but so far all I have been able to find casino out is that the feuding neighbors are also brother and sister.”
I think that pretty much explains it, no?
related: Another example of Brooklyn’s seemingly unparalleled commitment to exasperated signage
Tags: Brooklyn · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · neighbors · siblings
Cait spotted this artful example of parental passive-aggression “in front of a very, very wealthy residence” in New York’s East Village. “I get that ripping up the flowers was a douchey move,” Cait says, “but this seems a little over the top.”
To which I’d add: Um, yes. (They had me at the first semicolon.)
Meanwhile, across the globe, another 4-year-old was given a similar learning experience. In Australia, however, they don’t bother beating around the bush.*
*Apologies. Bad pun intended.
related: To the person who stole my flower (sniff)
Tags: Australia · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · guilt trip · kids · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2010 · New York · rhetorical question · runaway run-on sentences · semicolon abuse · stealing · TL;DR · Won't somebody think of the children? · You call that punctuation?
…then you obviously haven’t been introduced to the Houston, Texas model apparently gunning for the title of “the Dane Cook of household appliances.”
(For that, you can be thankful.)
related: Microwave on the run!
Tags: anthropomorphism · cleaning · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · Houston · microwave · most popular notes of 2010 · thanks (but not really) · touching
“My next-door neighbor has some problems with controlling her rage,” says Guy in Austin. So when the apartment manager wouldn’t force her upstairs neighbors to take down their bird feeder — on the grounds that the resulting bird crap from above constituted plant harassment — she wasn’t about to let the issue drop quietly.
Meanwhile, Lucas brings us this report of a uncontrollable botanophile on the loose at his office in Toronto.
Tags: Austin · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · neighbors · rebuttals · smartass · Toronto
“If you want respect,” barked the Daddy tree, “you gotta earn it. Show ‘some freakin’ acorns!”
“But Daaaaaaad,” whined the trembling young sapling. “I just…I just want to be beautiful!”
“What is this, a goddamn Shel Silverstein book? Quit your birching already.”
(As witnessed by Kevin in Arcata, California, and (below) by Taber in Richmond, Virginia.)
But as Michael in Seattle observed, at least one of those sad little trees wasn’t about to let his bully of a father have the last word.
related: The right to bear fruit
Tags: anthropomorphism · California · dogs · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · martyr complex · piss · Richmond · Seattle
As Lachlan in Melbourne points out, for 4 and 6 years old these kids have pretty good writing skills (with the exception of that little “hyph:-colon”). But lawdy, kids today and their language!
Meanwhile, in Pittsburgh…
And in Philadelphia (as spotted by Tash, who is not a yuppie)…
related: The right to bear fruit
Tags: flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · fuck fuckity fuck fuck · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · stealing · xoxo
Shannon in New York saw this note posted on the fence of the nearby community garden while she and her roommate were taking her dog for a walk for. The thought of a little old lady glued to her binoculars at 4 in the morning, this had them laughing for many prepositional phrases of time.
related: the right to bear fruit
Tags: CAPS LOCK · Clearly a non-native English speaker · excessive underlining · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · New York · spelling and grammar police · stealing · WTF?
Writes our anonymous submitter: “I work in a flower shop, and this guy came in today to have us deliver flowers to his girlfriend. After he wrote the card, he asked us to check to make sure the spelling of ‘anniversary’ was right…even though it was right there on the card!”
Now, as for the message…”but it’s a joke!” you say? Well, to quote Scott Wetzler, a clinical psychologist and author of Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man: “A joke can be the most skillful passive-aggressive act there is.”
related: Really though — carnations?
Tags: flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · love & marriage
Amy spotted this attached to a mailbox in Monroe, North Carolina. Writes amy: “I have no idea which flower it was (there were many that were still left on the porch), but I was impressed by the effort the victim took with this note — it was written on poster board and left up for quite a few days.”
(And the posterboard…was a birthday gift…purchased with her own money!!!)
related: “no” questions asked
Tags: birthday · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · guilt trip · martyr complex · Moms & Dads · North Carolina · sad face · stealing