Entries Tagged as 'flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens'
Cait spotted this artful example of parental passive-aggression “in front of a very, very wealthy residence” in New York’s East Village. “I get that ripping up the flowers was a douchey move,” Cait says, “but this seems a little over the top.”
To which I’d add: Um, yes. (They had me at the first semicolon.)
Meanwhile, across the globe, another 4-year-old was given a similar learning experience. In Australia, however, they don’t bother beating around the bush.*
*Apologies. Bad pun intended.
related: To the person who stole my flower (sniff)
Tags: Australia · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · guilt trip · kids · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2010 · New York · rhetorical question · runaway run-on sentences · semicolon abuse · stealing · TL;DR · Won't somebody think of the children? · You call that punctuation?
…then you obviously haven’t been introduced to the Houston, Texas model apparently gunning for the title of “the Dane Cook of household appliances.”
(For that, you can be thankful.)
related: Microwave on the run!
Tags: anthropomorphism · cleaning · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · Houston · microwave · most popular notes of 2010 · thanks (but not really) · touching
“My next-door neighbor has some problems with controlling her rage,” says Guy in Austin. So when the apartment manager wouldn’t force her upstairs neighbors to take down their bird feeder — on the grounds that the resulting bird crap from above constituted plant harassment — she wasn’t about to let the issue drop quietly.
Meanwhile, Lucas brings us this report of a uncontrollable botanophile on the loose at his office in Toronto.
Tags: Austin · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · neighbors · rebuttals · smartass · Toronto
“If you want respect,” barked the Daddy tree, “you gotta earn it. Show ‘some freakin’ acorns!”
“But Daaaaaaad,” whined the trembling young sapling. “I just…I just want to be beautiful!”
“What is this, a goddamn Shel Silverstein book? Quit your birching already.”
(As witnessed by Kevin in Arcata, California, and (below) by Taber in Richmond, Virginia.)
But as Michael in Seattle observed, at least one of those sad little trees wasn’t about to let his bully of a father have the last word.
related: The right to bear fruit
Tags: anthropomorphism · California · dogs · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · martyr complex · piss · Richmond · Seattle
As Lachlan in Melbourne points out, for 4 and 6 years old these kids have pretty good writing skills (with the exception of that little “hyph:-colon”). But lawdy, kids today and their language!
Meanwhile, in Pittsburgh…
And in Philadelphia (as spotted by Tash, who is not a yuppie)…
related: The right to bear fruit
Tags: flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · fuck fuckity fuck fuck · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · stealing · xoxo
Shannon in New York saw this note posted on the fence of the nearby community garden while she and her roommate were taking her dog for a walk for. The thought of a little old lady glued to her binoculars at 4 in the morning, this had them laughing for many prepositional phrases of time.
related: the right to bear fruit
Tags: CAPS LOCK · Clearly a non-native English speaker · excessive underlining · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · New York · spelling and grammar police · stealing · WTF?
Writes our anonymous submitter: “I work in a flower shop, and this guy came in today to have us deliver flowers to his girlfriend. After he wrote the card, he asked us to check to make sure the spelling of ‘anniversary’ was right…even though it was right there on the card!”
Now, as for the message…”but it’s a joke!” you say? Well, to quote Scott Wetzler, a clinical psychologist and author of Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man: “A joke can be the most skillful passive-aggressive act there is.”
related: Really though — carnations?
Tags: flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · love & marriage
Amy spotted this attached to a mailbox in Monroe, North Carolina. Writes amy: “I have no idea which flower it was (there were many that were still left on the porch), but I was impressed by the effort the victim took with this note — it was written on poster board and left up for quite a few days.”
(And the posterboard…was a birthday gift…purchased with her own money!!!)
related: “no” questions asked
Tags: birthday · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · guilt trip · martyr complex · Moms & Dads · North Carolina · sad face · stealing
Both of these signs would have gotten their points across perfectly well in just a few words…but the true passive-aggressive always knows how to convey his or her true meaning with just one more choice phrase.
Exhibit a) from Paula in Logan, Utah:
Exhibit b) spotted by my pal Brooke in Savannah, Georgia:
related: That means you, Edith
Tags: flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · lOWERCASE l · old folks · pleasantries as afterthought · Savannah · Utah
Three U.S. cities where nature-lovers might want to keep their hands to themselves:
1. Austin, Texas
2. Macon, Georgia
3. Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
(Thanks to Don in Austin, Elizabeth in Macon, and Jasmine in Pittsburgh for risking the wrath of some devoted gardening/second amendment enthusiasts to document these warnings.)
related: No “questions” asked
Tags: Austin · blame it on the crackhead · CAPS LOCK · exclamation-point happy!!!! · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · Georgia · Macon · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · Pittsburgh · spelling and grammar police · stealing