Entries Tagged as 'pleasantries as afterthought'
As we’ve noted here before, the white-collar nuisance known as the nibbler has been pathetically picking his (half)way through office kitchenettes across the land for some time now.
While the nibbler’s actions are usually met with disdain, one oh-so-compassionate office-worker from Omaha decided to take a different approach — an e-mail intervention, of sorts. I’d also be interested to see his advice for Mike in Cleveland, who seems to have similar delusions about the health impact of eating 9 donuts instead of 10.
(click the image below to enlarge)
The kicker? As it turns out, according to our anonymous submitter,”the bandit was, in fact, a guy!”
related: Just take the whole slice next time, okay?
Tags: all-staff e-mail · food · office · pleasantries as afterthought
Writes Emily in Austin: “In the notewriter’s defense, this machine has also given me regular Coke when I have pressed ‘Coke Zero’ on many an occasion, so when I saw this note, I thought I had figured it out. If I wanted Coke Zero, I just had to push the button for regular Coke. (I did…and it gave me regular Coke. Bitch!”) Meanwhile, on top of the machine was a can of Diet Coke and a can of Coke Zero with a note saying: ‘NOT Coke!’ After I took the picture, of course I took that Coke Zero and drank it.”
Diet Coke just can’t get no love…certainly not in Williamsburg, Virginia, as Grace from D.C. discovered.
related: the real thing
Tags: CAPS LOCK · Coke · Diet Coke · pleasantries as afterthought · vending machine drama · you're like so going to hell
“One morning last summer,” writes Stephanie in Illinois, “my brother and I arrived at the company where we worked to find these notes posted to the candy vending machine. (Mind you, it was 8:45 a.m.) Apparently, the man who fills the vending machines — a.k.a ‘Mr. Candyman’ — had failed to restock the machine for a week, and the ladies of the office had had enough.”
I mean, really. we’re talking about a serious breach of the social contract here, people!
Stephanie and I were both particularly tickled by the the “gas prices” note at top right. (“What does that even mean?” she wonders.)
Meanwhile, Lisa in Nashville spotted this note posted on the vending machine in the studio arts building at Vanderbilt University. “There had been many previous notes asking (nicely) for more Twizzlers,” Lisa says, but as desperation set in, at least one distraught staff member decided to get lyrical on Candyman’s ass.
related: The Pepsi Challenge
Tags: candy · food · Illinois · office · pleasantries as afterthought · questionable logic · raging against the machine · sad face · spelling and grammar police · vending machine drama
To Washington, D.C….
…it seems like one thing everyone can agree on is the total obsolescence of print media.
related: Love, apt. #3
Tags: Australia · Canberra · D.C. · newspaper · pleasantries as afterthought
Both of these signs would have gotten their points across perfectly well in just a few words…but the true passive-aggressive always knows how to convey his or her true meaning with just one more choice phrase.
Exhibit a) from Paula in Logan, Utah:
Exhibit b) spotted by my pal Brooke in Savannah, Georgia:
related: That means you, Edith
Tags: flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · lOWERCASE l · old folks · pleasantries as afterthought · Savannah · Utah
Sarah in Somerville, Mass. wasn’t fazed when she left her apartment one Saturday to find this otherwise “run-of-the-mill your-mother-doesn’t-live-here note”…until she rounded the corner and was greeted by photocopies of the same note taped to every available surface in the hallway.
Then, the next day, another note appeared near the elevator…
…which had apparently been written on the back of yet another (more targeted) note:
“In fairness,” Sarah says, “this whole thing really is gross, and now the lobby and the hallway — in addition to the elevator — smell of vomit. I’m just not sure why the first notewriter thought that spending $10 on copies was going to help.”
And lastly, Sarah adds: “My mommy didn’t clean up my dorm, either.”
related: Going up?
Tags: elevator · grow up · pleasantries as afterthought · Somerville · vomit · Your mother doesn't...
After six months of backpacking through Australia, my former roommate Robin stopped by her mom’s house on Long Island to unload her giant pack of souvenirs, leftover trail mix, and unwashed underwear. Her crucial mistake — besides the basic one: returning back home to mom as an adult — leaving an unopened can of planter’s peanuts on the floor of her room…within sight of her mom, who is, um, deathly allergic to peanuts.
The note she left was simple enough, but for Robin, the subtext was clear: “What, you’ve been back one day, and already you’re trying to kill me?”
“Honestly, I’m pretty surprised she didn’t add in ‘…OR I WILL DIE!!!’ at the end,” says Robin. “But the dirty looks I got from my stepdad the rest of the day basically said as much.” After getting a very thorough talking-to the next day about the finer points of washing cast-iron cookware, she decided it was definitely time to get her own place.
related: Cleaning party!
Tags: food · Moms & Dads · New York · pleasantries as afterthought
Tina is Los Angeles didn’t have any problem with her roommate‘s friend couchsurfing at their apartment for a month, but both she and her roomie started to get irked when the friend started inviting other friends to stay over — and then kept doing it, even after the roomie expressly asked her not to.
“The first friend we encountered killed one of my fish and put gum in my aquarium,” Tina says. When another friend-of-a-friend started “subtly and sarcastically deriding” their taste in fashion/entertainment/blah blah blah…well, the roommates decided enough was enough.
related: Some suggestions for the comfort of your guest
Tags: excessive underlining · guests · Los Angeles · not-so-veiled threats · pleasantries as afterthought · roommates
Two heartwarming notes brimming with compassion and holiday cheer!
related: a holiday wish
Tags: Boulder · Christmas · dogs · heartwarming compassion · holiday spirit · Los Angeles · piss · pleasantries as afterthought · the homeless
Individual cheese pizza with chicken, bacon, sun-dried tomato and feta cheese plus a side salad: $6.31. Addressing your note “to whom it may concern” when you only have one roommate? (You know the rest.)
(Thanks to Todd in Stillwater, Oklahoma for snapping the photo.)
related: you left evidence
Tags: college life · excessive underlining · Oklahoma · pizza · pleasantries as afterthought · roommates · smiley