Entries Tagged as 'Facebook'
If I had to choose the one thing I hate most about Facebook, I think it would have to be how it’s normalized the narcissistic idea that the day you were born (and increasingly the entire week/month leading up to it) is somehow an annual event of earth-shattering importance…and (part two), how it has turned into a venue for people who share that idea to host their own pity parties, like so:
Of course, some of those people prefer the prematurely pissy approach — this message, for example, was apparently posted at 10:50 the day before her birthday:
But on Facebook, the “proactively setting the bar low” approach (as opposed to proactively setting the bar high) might yield better results…that is, if your friends still pity you enough to put with your juvenile bullshit.
related: “I received 25 bday wishes out of 473 Facebook friends.”
Tags: birthday · cry me a freaking river · Facebook · grow up · guilt trip · martyr complex
The following message is a bit long, yes, but I had to post it because it reads uncannily like what I imagine as the epistolary novel of the future — complete with an unreliable narrator à la the Adrian Mole Diaries (or the sub-par American ripoff, Youth in Revolt).
It comes to us from Helen in Northern Ireland, who gives the following backstory: ”So, I met a friend of a friend on a night out and he offered to ‘walk me home.’ Seeing right through that clever ruse, I left, only to be bombarded with no fewer than four texts, a Facebook message and a voicemail all saying some inebriated yet romantic things.”
Months later, Helen ran into a mutual friend of this would-be Lothario, and casually said something along the lines of, ‘He tried to walk me home once, but I think he is a bit strange.’ Shortly thereafter, she received this gem of a Facebook message. “Luckily,” Helen says, “he removed and blocked me from Facebook immediately after sending it. Nice chap!”
related: And women like u wonder why u get judged and labeled shallow
Tags: Facebook · just an asshole · just not that into you · oh no you didn't · spurned lover · TL;DR · U.K.
So, these two crazy kids (both of whom still live with their parents, according to our submitter), had a lil’ accident. A really exciting one! So exciting they decided the best way to share the news was en masse, via Facebook status update! So be excited for them, dammit!!!
related: Children are such a blessing.
Thanks for not buying me the Diaper Genie I registered for!!!
Tags: alot · Facebook · frenemies · preggers · spelling and grammar police
Facebook: always there to remind you of all the fun you’re not having.
related: Socializing (you’re doing it wrong)
Tags: Facebook · frenemies · preggers · weddings and bridezillas
Diaries, people. Pen and ink. Lock and key. Not on the Internet for everyone to see (and cringe over)!
related: dirty, dirty bridesmaids
Tags: ex drama · Facebook · smiley · weddings and bridezillas
Pitchfork gave this performance by Patrick (“guy in a band”) and A (“friend of guy in band”) — a 7.2. Be sure to read from the bottom up!
related: perfect for each other
Tags: Facebook · Oops?
Writes our submitter in Lexington, Kentucky: “One day, I updated my Facebook status to something about how no one in my city knows how to properly use a turning lane. The next day, I got this e-mail from my mom. She often makes similar judgments about what personality traits I should have because I’m ‘such a pretty girl.’”
Annoying? Sure. But aside from the irritating Momsian/Victorian conflation of physical/moral beauty, I think I’m actually on Team Mom for this one. (Of course, had I received a similar e-mail from my own mom, I’d hardly be so clear-eyed. Such is the nature of the mother/daughter dynamic!)
related: Living with an adolescent, abridged
Tags: e-mail · Facebook · Moms & Dads · not so much passive-aggressive · signed with love · unsolicited feedback
“Oh boy,” thought Emily in New York, when she saw this mini-drama unfold on her newsfeed. “I can’t even imagine; if my dad found out that I was engaged via Facebook, there would be hell to pay.” (Luckily, she says, “my dad has no idea how to use Facebook, or as he calls it, ‘the Face Space.’”)
Meanwhile, writes our submitter in Austin, “I knew my brother and sister-in-law were debating another baby, and I was quite aggravated to think this is how I was going to find out.” But instead…
related: Why you really shouldn’t be facebook friends with your parents
Tags: Facebook · family · Moms & Dads · oh no you didn't
As an early holiday gift to you, I present the current leading candidate in the race for “douchecanoe of the year”…
UPDATE: Our anonymous tipster passes along this follow-up status update, adding, “The best part about this situation is that, by posting her latest status update, she just encouraged more people to come see how rude and greedy she is!”
related: Facebook wedding drama
extra credit: DISLIKE!
Tags: etiquette · Facebook · most popular notes of 2009 · smiley · weddings and bridezillas
Maybe ’cause it would only draw more attention to douche-canoes like these.
related: facebook: a place for navel-gazing narcissists
extra credit: how to add a dislike button to facebook [lifehacker]
Tags: cry me a freaking river · Facebook