Entries Tagged as 'posted online'

No, really — it’s just research for my Andrea Dworkin paper!

December 12th, 2008 · 48 Comments

“There’s a lot of foot traffic at a certain computer lab at our university,” says our submitter in Ypsilanti, Michigan, “but it can only seat 30 at a time.”

In order to (in theory) alleviate the problem, and in practice, to give waiting students some new clip art to focus their rage upon, the university posted this sign on the door of the lab…to which several students added their own clarifications.

Really, though: which is a better simulation of post-college working life for the major of university graduates: writing a paper on themes of alienation in James Joyce…or periods of mind-numbing boredom punctuated by the furtive checking of status updates and the throwing of virtual snowballs? Mmm?

Have compassion in your hearts for people on Facebook!

related: Making time for the important things in life…like Facebook apps

Tags: actually totally reasonable · clip art catastrophe · college life · Facebook · im-speak · rebuttals

Reason #784 why you should never list your relationship status in your Facebook profile

December 4th, 2008 · 104 Comments

The icing on top here, says our submitter, is the second comment — the one from Billy. Why? Because, well, that’s the guy Slade just broke up with.

Adds our submitter: “Awkward pretty much sums it up.”

Trust me. Being single is not bad at all. I am having more fun now, and you should too! (I disagree.)

related: please pick up your dirty laundry asap

Tags: breakup · ex drama · Facebook · most popular notes of 2008 · oh no you didn't

The Scarlet Status Update

November 14th, 2008 · 189 Comments

Today’s Facebook Friday submission comes from an anonymous onlooker in College Park, <aryland. (read from the bottom up.)

GUESS WHO CHEATED ON ME AMANDA

related: I challenge you to an emoticon-off!

Tags: ex drama · Facebook · spelling and grammar police

Tant pis, mon amie

November 7th, 2008 · 165 Comments

Writes our anonymous submitter: “Amie and I were friends since junior high. We had plans to go out for my 22nd birthday, but she canceled the day of. I said it was cool and that we should reschedule, and then I never heard from her again…until four years later, when she requested me as a friend on Facebook. I rejected her. She friend-requested me again, and I rejected her…again.”

Amie, however, didn’t seem to get the message.

I heard about your wedding and I just wanted to say congrats and that I was really excited for you, thats all. I don't know why you wont accept the facebook-friend invite.

Adds our submitter: “For the record, my response was, ‘Thanks for the congrats!’”

related: You were warned never to push Carrie to the limits.

Tags: Facebook · frenemies · mean girls · weddings and bridezillas · xoxo

You were warned never to push Carrie to the limits.

October 29th, 2008 · 193 Comments

Now you must face the evil bitchy consequences.

I am canceling my Halloween party, cause it seems that 60% so far have posted me back with reasons on why they can't come. So I guess instead of having fun, I'm going to be home alone, watching old horror movies, and waiting for little children to come to my door.

related: Pumpkin with a death wish

Tags: cry me a freaking river · Facebook · guilt trip · Halloween · holiday spirit · not-so-veiled threats · TL;DR

Facebook: a place for frenemies

September 19th, 2008 · 124 Comments

In this edition of Facebook Friday…an assortment of cat fights in the making, plucked from the newsfeeds of the innocent Facebookers caught in the crossfire!

Exhibit a)

HOW IS IT YOU CALL TO SEE IF A FRIEND WANTS TO CHILL AND YOU GET BLASTED ON OVER SOME BITCH BULL SHIT! THAT MEANS YOUR BULL SHIT JENNY!

Exhibit b)

Wow never thought you could be shit on by the same two people so many times in a month!! Good Riddance & fuck you!!

Exhibit c)

Jordan is beyond pissed at her retarded roommate (but still loves the other two bundles :) )

The smiley face there is a nice touch, but my favorite this time around has to be this doozy of an about-face (read from the bottom up):

Bryn & Brooke

related: No offense! (just kidding) No worries! (just kidding)

extra credit: Like, OMG, PAN is on Facebook?

Tags: exclamation-point happy!!!! · Facebook · frenemies · mean girls · most popular notes of 2008 · smiley

Making time for the important things in life…like Facebook apps.

September 5th, 2008 · 65 Comments

Spotted by an anonymous bullshit cop in Knoxville, Tennessee…

OMFG — I have more important things to think about (like my child) than your stupid ass middle school drama! Get over it & leave me alone! Have a nice day :D

related: Facebook schoolyard smackdown

Tags: Facebook · Knoxville · smiley

Please pick up your dirty laundry ASAP

August 28th, 2008 · 127 Comments

Says our anonymous Facebook user in Ottawa: “It’s exactly what it looks like.”

Your stuff is packed and sitting in the garage!!! Please pick up ASAP...sick of the lying and cheating....

related: In daylights? In sunsets? In midnights? In posts on Facebook?

Tags: ex drama · Facebook · Ottawa

The Powerseller of Pompano Beach

July 27th, 2008 · 318 Comments

If you’ve ever tut-tutted over the consequences of big-box stores and online retailers overtaking small businesses, you’ll be heartened to hear that some folks have figured out how to bring those old-fashioned mom-n-pop ideas about customer service into the digital age…with the help of a big ol’ corporation called eBay!

While browsing the auction site for some new shades, my pal Josh stumbled across one such example — a listing from a Florida-based eBayer who goes by the name of whiteblizzard70.

PLEASE READ MY SHIPPING AND REFUND (RETURNS) RULES, AS THAT IS IMPORTANT.

This goes on for several more paragraphs (see for yourself), but I’ll skip to my favorite part — the postscript.

PS I LOVE OVERSEAS BUYERS! NEVER A PROBLEM.

(Josh decided not to bid.)

related: Top five musical crimes perpetrated by record store customers
extra credit: How do you get out of an ebay auction? [consumerist.com]

P.S. This post reminded me of another note my friend Josh told me about a few months back — a piece of reader mail he’d received as an editor at the music mag Blender. Granted, most readers who take the time to write in to magazines like Blender are at least a little bit…off, to say the least. But the last part of this letter — a response to an “Ask Blender” column about the urban legend that Debbie Harry of Blondie was once abducted by Ted Bundy — is genuinely spine-chilling. (Passive-aggressive? Not so much. Creepy? Um, yes.)

Tags: "customer service" · CAPS LOCK · college life · eBay · Florida · more aggressive than passive · Pompano Beach · spelling and grammar police

Cue the violins

July 25th, 2008 · 209 Comments

When Sheena in Austin spotted this note on her neighbor’s front door, she couldn’t help but wonder: “If your doormat has sentimental value, maybe it should be hanging on your wall instead of sitting on the ground?”

To whoever stole my doormat: PLEASE bring it back! It was a gift & has sentimental value! Be a grown up! Thanks, Alex

related: Wrath mat

extra credit: Sentimental value: clothing stories from eBay

Tags: Austin · eBay · excessive underlining · grow up · neighbors · stealing