Writes Amber in Minnesota: “My friend works in accounting for a local restaurant chain, and every once in awhile she has to go through credit card receipts if something isn’t adding up correctly. She’s found some pretty interesting gems, but this one takes the cake.”

[Adds the Not-Pregnant Notewriter: THANKS FOR THE 'TAKES THE CAKE' COMMENT, AMBER. REALLY.]

related: Please don’t take this the wrong way, but mind your own damn business.

I’ll admit it: I had to read this note and the accompanying explanation about three times before I grasped that “hair baby” was supposed to refer to the leftover strands that someone in Tricia’s dorm keeps leaving in the shower drain.

But speaking of babies…as Massimo noticed, this Boston-area Walgreens is apparently hoping to capitalize on your drunken New Years/Valentine’s Day sexual escapades. (Or else they’re just really, really curious?????)

related: Please clean ALL your feathers.

extra credit: The incredible hair baby of Manchester [Dailymail.co.uk]

So, these two crazy kids (both of whom still live with their parents, according to our submitter), had a lil’ accident. A really exciting one! So exciting they decided the best way to share the news was en masse, via Facebook status update! So be excited for them, dammit!!!

related: Children are such a blessing.

Thanks for not buying me the Diaper Genie I registered for!!!

Our Bay-Area submitter returned from lunch one day to find this note from an anonymous concerned coworker.

“I’ll admit that I’ve gained about 15 pounds recently,” she says. However, “At 4’11 and normally around 95 pounds, even with the extra 15 I’m still within an acceptable weight range for my height.” But the real kicker, says our submitter?

“I’m also 5 months pregnant. I just haven’t made a big deal about it by talking incessantly about it or demanding special treatment like I’m God’s gift to the world just because I got myself knocked up.”

(So, uh, I think that’s a no, she won’t be seeing you there.)

related: I am beautiful, not matter what they say (or passive-aggressively insinuate)

…especially when the invitation is extended via your Facebook wall to everyone you know.

Or (oopsies!) almost everyone you know.

related: Your Facebook friends…just not that into you.

extra credit: STFU, Parents

Facebook: always there to remind you of all the fun you’re not having.

related: Socializing (you’re doing it wrong)