Entries Tagged as 'p.s.'

Don’t mess with WeHo

March 19th, 2013 · 34 Comments

Writes Matt in West Hollywood: “Apparently a certain ‘Alex’ in our neighborhood has been downing protein smoothies and then discarding the cups on the street.” Not cool, man. Not cool.

ALEX! What's wrong there, Mr. Muscle? Cup too heavy for you? How about you start using TRASH CANS for your TRASH? (P.S. - You are on candid camera big boy)

related: The City of Brotherly Littering

Tags: California · littering · p.s.

You’re a wiseass, Harry.

February 12th, 2013 · 69 Comments

It turns out Harry Potter had more than a little in common with his jerk of a father. (And yes, James Potter was a jerk — Yahoo! Answers says so!)

Dear Hagrid, I understand you're half giant, but could you try to be a little more light footed? P.S. If you're not Hagrid, stop fucking stomping around, it's pissing me off. Sincerely, Harry Potter, apartment under the stairs

Meanwhile, on Diagon Alley…

Notice from The Green Witch Re discount...Please do not embarrass my staff by asking for discount. If the prices could be lower, they would be. Therapists who shop regularly and consistently at the shop may receive a discount on their products that are relevant to their business but not on any other goods. Any discount given is purely at the discretion of myself and is a priveledge [sic], not a right. Demanding discount simply angers both me and Maggie — after all, do you ask Tesco for discount because you shop there every week...I think not. Thank you, The Green Witch

related: Do these stilettos match my broomstick?

extra credit: How P-A Harry Potter fans deal with junk mail

extra extra credit: We Are Wizards [hulu.com]

Tags: neighbors · noise · p.s.

What a little hart-braker

January 22nd, 2013 · 34 Comments

Our submitter in Vancouver, Washington says this note was slipped under her door after her daughter was sent to her room following a disagreement about doing the dishes. Adds Mom: “I like that the poop is just there — not telling me I smell like poop, or to eat poop. Just…poop.”

Never doing anything for you ever again ever for Mom —Emily (hart brok) P.S. Running away (Poop)

related: Buckets of my tears

Tags: kids · most popular notes of 2013 · Mother-daughter notes · oh no you didn't · p.s.

Relax, you miserable sod, you’re on island time!

October 10th, 2012 · 162 Comments

Spotted by Gretchen in the resort town of Mount Maunganui, New Zealand:

WE WOULD LIKE TO SUGGEST:- When ordering food please ask for the APPROXIMATE waiting time then perhaps do the following: Go for a walk, feed the seagulls, watch the ocean waves crashing against the sandy shore, chat to the boaties as they bring in their catch, sit down, relax, read a magazine, etc. etc. then pop back in at the right time and see if your order is ready or your number has been called.  WHAT WE DO NOT RECOMMEND:- Waiting with a sour face that even your mother would find hard to love, arms folded, tapping your feet, looking at your watch every thirty seconds, and asking if your food is ready every 60 seconds, then when its ready snatching it out of the hands of our tired and hassled staff.  PLEASE REMEMBER:- CHILL!! And let's have a stress free holiday.  A smile and patience cost nothing.  THANKYOU!!  Ps If you have forgotten how to smile and chill out there is an online guide at www.dontbesuchamiserablesod.com.

related: A clue that your whole “half-caf, extra hot, non-fat dressing-on-the-side” thing might be a bit much

Tags: "polite notice" · most popular notes of 2012 · New Zealand · p.s. · restaurant

The Go to Hell™ Bouquet

June 13th, 2012 · 19 Comments

“My friend and her roommate did not get along at all in college,” says Bryan in Chicago, “to the point where they were only communicating by notes for the last six months they lived together. This is the last note my friend left before officially moving out.”

I cleaned most of the apartment so please keep it tidy while you move out  - Kelsey.  P.S. go to hell

related: When frenemies attack!

Tags: cleaning · mean girls · p.s. · roommates

Love, Numb Nuts

February 20th, 2012 · 44 Comments

Ty — an innocent bystander in this situation — saw this reply note taped to the door of his apartment building in Omaha. “I LOVE it!’ says Ty. Me too, Ty. Me too.

Polite neighbor — Thank You for that lovely note reminding me how crappy my car is...but just for you, I just spent more $ than my car is worth to fix it!! So sleep tight :) Love, Numb Nuts P.S. I really am sorry that you had to hear it. I know how annoying it is, but next time be a little nicer...please.

related: Save the earth, kill the kids?

Tags: car · heart · neighbors · Omaha · p.s. · smiley · thanks (but not really)

Urban Warfare

November 27th, 2011 · 82 Comments

Perhaps the neighbors are Skyrim fans?

Dear Neighbors, I apologize for any loud

related: Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got Call of Duty on pause

extra credit: ‘Modern Warfare’ removes one team’s call of duty [wtop.com]

Tags: gaming · Illinois · most popular notes of 2011 · neighbors · noise · non-apology apology · p.s. · the po-po

The Toilet Paper Manifesto

November 14th, 2011 · 90 Comments

When four people share one bathroom, true equity in toilet-paper purchasing is nearly impossible to come by without conflict.

Just take a look at the opening salvo issued at Laura’s apartment in Georgia:

Clearly, you use the bathroom, which means that you use the 12 rolls of toilet paper I bought a week ago. And you bought 4. Really? Is this okay in the eyes of baby Jesus? Equality is important in today's society. Do you know who doesn't like equality? TERRORISTS. TERRORISTS DO NOT LIKE EQUALITY.

…and the first response:

I've started using my own toilet paper. Sorry for any confusion.

Your move, “Scott.”

related: Five approaches to TP maintenance

Tags: college life · Georgia · gloriously redundant · Jesus · p.s. · rebuttals · roommates · signed with love · smartass · toilet paper · visual aids

XXX, Mum

November 12th, 2011 · 88 Comments

James in the U.K. recently came home from football practice to discover that, in his absence, his mother had gotten a peek at his Internet browser history (“full of…well, I’m 15, I’m sure you can guess.”) As cool as his mum was about the whole thing, says James, “I still don’t know if I’ll be able to look her in the face for a while.”

Dear James, Yes, your laptop HAS been used - I couldn't find my charger. Sorry. P.S: You should probably delete your search history - your Gran would be shocked. P.P.S: You know Internet Explorer has a mode for stuff like that, it's called Incognito Mode, I think. Happy viewing! Lots of love, Mum. XOXO

Dear James, Yes, your laptop HAS been used - I couldn't find my charger. Sorry. P.S: You should probably delete your search history - your Gran would be shocked. P.P.S: You know Internet Explorer has a mode for stuff like that, it's called Incognito Mode, I think. Happy viewing! Lots of love, Mum. XOXO

“Happy viewing”? Nicely played, Mum.

related: “Sweetie, I saw that Walgreens is having a sale on jumbo-sized rubbers, so of course I thought of you!”

Tags: "helpful" advice · Mother-son notes · Oops? · p.s. · sex sex sex · signed with love · U.K. · xoxo

Sorry I hit your car, but whatever, it’s a tacky piece of crap anyway

July 27th, 2011 · 42 Comments

Explains our submitter in North Carolina: ”My friend walked out to the parking lot to find a big dent and a sticky note on her car, which still had some writing on it from her recent birthday.” And while the driver didn’t just dent-and-dash, the fact that he or she didn’t bother to leave a name/plate/policy number — just an entirely unnecessary postscript — made the whole situation a less-than-satisfying belated birthday surprise.

Sorry I hit your car, you can call my insurance and sort it out [phone number redacted]. P.S. You should clean this writing off your fucking car.

related: I dinged your car, but you kind of deserved it.

Tags: car · non-apology apology · p.s. · Raleigh · unsolicited feedback