This indignant note nearly made Mike [sic] with laughter when he saw it posted in the lobby of his apartment building in Surrey, B.C.

(Oh, those Canadians — so hilarious! Even when they’re not trying to be!)

related: A note from Dirty Lady #2

But you were just providing a valuable public service to potential tenants, right? Nothing passive-aggressive about that!

(Thanks to Nina in Raleigh, North Carolina and Greta in Alexandria, Virginia for their submissions!)

related: You lied to me, Mr. Lundegaard.

So, has holiday time with your family got you reachin’ for the nearest bottle of Mad Dog yet? No? Well, then allow us here at PAN to help bring you back to the depressing world of real life.

Janet spotted this display by the side of the road in her “very small-town community” in Virginia. “I’m sure this person is known by some who will see the sign — maybe even the local sheriff,” she says. “At first I laughed, but then I thought it was just sad.”

related: Won’t somebody think o’ the ’possums?

Writes Josh in St. Louis: “In our university’s paper, during the first semester, parents can send in notes for their kids away at college to read. Most parents put something sweet, happy, and uplifting — ‘We love you, good luck, hope you’re well,’ that kind of thing.”  Josh’s parents, meanwhile…

related: No money, no trophy

Exhibit a) Spotted at a laundromat in Silver Lake by Jessica in Los Angeles…

Exhibit b) From Ronnie’s Diner, also in LA.., by Valerie:

Exhibit c) From Barnacle Bill’s in Sarasota, Florida:

Exhibit d) From, as Miranda explains, ” the local ‘community thrift store’ in Dahlonega, Georgia, where everything is donated, and all the people who work there…are volunteers. Raising the prices to compensate for the volunteers’ efforts? Makes TONS of sense to me!”

But (because the decision had to be made) I would say that this  final note — spotted by Rusty at a B&B in Newfoundland — is my absolute favorite.

related: When you can’t blame the dog

Failed strategies in bicycle theft deterrence:

1. Assuming the thief who stole your bike is schooled in Italian neorealism; appealing to said thief’s desire to be one of the cool kids.

2. Feigning empathy for said thief.

3. Chiding said thief for his stupidity via a barely legible run-on sentence without double-checking “you’re” grammar first.

(Grazie mille to Nadia in Melbourne, Chris in Amsterdam, and Tom in London for submitting!)

related: No, Daddy, I asked for a Wii!

Writes an anonymous social networker in Gainesville, Florida: “This guy and his (ex) roommate are friends of mine on Facebook, and they’ve been bickering back and forth for months now, airing their grievances for everyone to see.”

The girl eventually moved out, our submitter says, but it seems like maybe — just maybe — she left some unfinished business behind.

related: Thou shalt honor thy Facebook newsfeed, and keep it holy

This exercise in mass shaming is brought to us by Rocky in San Diego, who notes: “These are 5-year-olds playing T-ball.”

related: A new tactic for Pre-K school fundraising…public shaming?