PassiveAggressiveNotes.com » pure poetry

Nobody does a “polite notice” quite like the Brits

Kerry — Wed, 21 Sep 2011 02:38:17 +0000

“One of our local parks has a busy tea shop that’s popular with walkers, cyclists, families and people exercising their dogs,” says Clive in Brighton. “I don’t blame them for getting fed up with demanding dog owners, and I suppose a note is one way to communicate, but in rhyme? And, worse, rhyme this bad?”

Couplets for the Commode

Kerry — Tue, 13 Sep 2011 12:00:55 +0000

You might think that the writer of nearly a dozen couplets on toilet etiquette would include at least one variation on the sprinkle/tinkle theme, but apparently the poet at work in this Nassau County government building doesn’t go for in that sort of cliché.

But wouldn’t you know it? As Nicole from New York City reports, “The toilet seat in question was covered in ‘sprinkle‘ and absolutely disgusting.”

related: Toilet Paper Poetry Slam

S is for Sibling Rivalry

Kerry — Tue, 05 Apr 2011 03:40:31 +0000

For a second-grade assignment, Gayle‘s daughter Martha, age 7, was assigned to write an acrostic poem about a family member, using descriptive words beginning with each letter of their title (Mother, Grandpa, etc.) Martha chose to compose this loving ode to her SISTER.

related: The rift that keeps on giving

Toilet Paper Poetry Slam

Kerry — Tue, 21 Sep 2010 01:53:03 +0000

Which is your favorite ode to replacing the roll?

Entry #1, from Baltimore?

Entry #2, from New Orleans?

or Entry #3, from Long Island City?

related: Scatological poetry slam

Passive-Aggressive Kitchen-Sink Poetry

Kerry — Fri, 23 Apr 2010 05:01:35 +0000

So, which of these cutesy little rhymes is least likely to make you stab yourself in the eye?

Exhibit a) from an office break room in Atlanta, Georgia?

Exhibit b) from a college dorm suite in Winston-Salem, North Carolina?

Or — smiley-face-free! — exhibit c) from a share house full of frat boys in Los Angeles?

Still there? If so, you probably need a palate-cleanser after all those cringe-worthy couplets, so I’ll leave you with this delicate haiku from an office in Washington, D.C.

related: Scatological Poetry Slam

Save the earth…kill the kids?

Kerry — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 01:52:31 +0000

“I have no traces of child paraphernalia in my Mini Cooper,” says our submitter from Alexandria, Virginia — and she didn’t buy her car for environmental reasons. (“I bought it because I’m a Mini fan,” she says, “regardless of the global impact.”) So, as you might imagine, she was more than a bit puzzled to find this note under her wiper blade.

related: Herbie Goes to Washington

My parents, the loan sharks

Kerry — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 18:21:57 +0000

Writes Josh in St. Louis: “In our university’s paper, during the first semester, parents can send in notes for their kids away at college to read. Most parents put something sweet, happy, and uplifting — ‘We love you, good luck, hope you’re well,’ that kind of thing.” Josh’s parents, meanwhile…

related: no money, no trophy

Signed with a Glasgow kiss

Kerry — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 17:43:13 +0000

Rodti and Laura Elizabeth spotted these charming examples of local Scottish color outside an Internet cafe in Glasgow’s West End.

Meanwhile, a grocery story elsewhere in Glasgow displays a similar plea for clemency…one that seems intended for a similar clientele.

related: Blame it on Coke

extra credit: Buckfast tonic wine [wikipedia]
The worst toilet in Scotland [youtube]

There will come soft pains

Kerry — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 02:04:05 +0000

This bit of poetry is brought to us by Alex in Vancouver, an innocent observer on the scene.

Over and Over – The Warning (Passive-aggressive Remix)

Kerry — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 03:50:42 +0000

Laid back? I’ll give you laid back. In fact, I’ll spell it out for you: Janice will break your legs.

(Thanks to Peter in Milwaukee for documenting — you’re my number one guy!)

A limerick

Kerry — Wed, 01 Aug 2007 06:58:29 +0000

Back in 2006, Austin in London didn’t feel like confronting his roommate about the masses of hair that were clogging the bathroom sink. Instead, he wrote him this special poem.

Adds Austin: “My roommate never actually said anything about the note, but he did clean the drain out by the time I’d arived home…so I assume he got the message.”