Entries Tagged as 'pure poetry'
September 24th, 2012 · 15 Comments
I didn’t pay much attention to this bit of poetic propaganda until I noticed it was posted at an office in the United Kingdom. Is the awkward meter of the writing below Uncle Sam some kind a subtle comment on American imperialism, or just pure laziness? I suspect the latter, but I’d still be tempted to slap a “Keep Calm and Carry On” poster on top.
related: The Vicar of Glibly
Tags: clip art catastrophe · dishes · office · pure poetry · U.K. · Your mother doesn't...
September 20th, 2011 · 38 Comments
“One of our local parks has a busy tea shop that’s popular with walkers, cyclists, families and people exercising their dogs,” says Clive in Brighton. “I don’t blame them for getting fed up with demanding dog owners, and I suppose a note is one way to communicate, but in rhyme? And, worse, rhyme this bad?”
related: A polite notice to the owner of this marvelous vehicle
Tags: "customer service" · "polite notice" · dogs · don't blame us · martyr complex · pure poetry · restaurant · U.K.
September 13th, 2011 · 44 Comments
You might think that the writer of nearly a dozen couplets on toilet etiquette would include at least one variation on the sprinkle/tinkle theme, but apparently the poet at work in this Nassau County government building doesn’t go for in that sort of cliché.
But wouldn’t you know it? As Nicole from New York City reports, “The toilet seat in question was covered in ‘sprinkle‘ and absolutely disgusting.”
related: Toilet Paper Poetry Slam
Tags: etiquette · hygiene · Long Island · New York · pure poetry · toilet · washing your hands
For a second-grade assignment, Gayle‘s daughter Martha, age 7, was assigned to write an acrostic poem about a family member, using descriptive words beginning with each letter of their title (Mother, Grandpa, etc.) Martha chose to compose this loving ode to her SISTER.
related: The rift that keeps on giving
Tags: kids · most popular notes of 2011 · pure poetry · siblings
September 20th, 2010 · 46 Comments
Which is your favorite ode to replacing the roll?
Entry #1, from Baltimore?
Entry #2, from New Orleans?
or Entry #3, from Long Island City?
related: Scatological poetry slam
Tags: Baltimore · bathroom · ellipses-crazed · excessive capitalization · New Orleans · pure poetry · Queens · spelling and grammar police · toilet paper
So, which of these cutesy little rhymes is least likely to make you stab yourself in the eye?
Exhibit a) from an office break room in Atlanta, Georgia?
Exhibit b) from a college dorm suite in Winston-Salem, North Carolina?
Or — smiley-face-free! — exhibit c) from a share house full of frat boys in Los Angeles?
Still there? If so, you probably need a palate-cleanser after all those cringe-worthy couplets, so I’ll leave you with this delicate haiku from an office in Washington, D.C.
related: Scatological Poetry Slam
Tags: Atlanta · clip art catastrophe · college life · D.C. · dishes · office · pure poetry · rainbow-colored · roommates · smiley · TL;DR · Winston-Salem
“I have no traces of child paraphernalia in my Mini Cooper,” says our submitter from Alexandria, Virginia — and she didn’t buy her car for environmental reasons. (“I bought it because I’m a Mini fan,” she says, “regardless of the global impact.”) So, as you might imagine, she was more than a bit puzzled to find this note under her wiper blade.
related: Herbie Goes to Washington
Tags: car · Northern Virginia · pure poetry · The Earth · unsolicited feedback · WTF?
Writes Josh in St. Louis: “In our university’s paper, during the first semester, parents can send in notes for their kids away at college to read. Most parents put something sweet, happy, and uplifting — ‘We love you, good luck, hope you’re well,’ that kind of thing.” Josh’s parents, meanwhile…
related: No money, no trophy
Tags: college life · Moms & Dads · money · newspaper · public shaming · pure poetry · St. Louis
Apparently, sayeth google analytics, the oh-so-clever phrase “if you sprinkle when you tinkle” is one of the most common search terms that leads people to this little website. (Sorry to disappoint you, folks — no cross-stitch patterns to be found here.)
So, um, yeah…I’m gonna go curl up the fetal position and die now. I’ll leave the textual analysis underlying the great “neat/sweetie” literary schism to you guys, k?
This one might be a little more home-spun, but I think the urine-colored highlighter and ellipses diarrhea really pushes it over the top:
If you want your mind completely blown, check out this international variation, from Jamaica:
And from San Francisco, the po-mo edition:
related: “Unattended children will be given espresso and a free puppy”
Tags: bathroom · CAPS LOCK · ellipses-crazed · high on highlighter · pure poetry · toilet
Rodti and Laura Elizabeth spotted these charming examples of local Scottish color outside an Internet cafe in Glasgow’s West End.
Meanwhile, a grocery story elsewhere in Glasgow displays a similar plea for clemency…one that seems intended for a similar clientele.
related: Blame it on Coke
extra credit: Buckfast tonic wine [wikipedia]
The worst toilet in Scotland [youtube]
Tags: "customer service" · apostrophe abuse · CAPS LOCK · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Glasgow · irregular capitalization · not my fault · pure poetry · spelling and grammar police · toilet · U.K.