evan in san diego spotted this bilingual warning in a local thrift store. “i particularly enjoy the vaguely racist implication of the spanish translation,” evan adds. “it’s the only sign in the store (among dozens) that’s en espanol.”

related: when nature calls

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“one morning last summer,” writes stephanie in illinois, “my brother and i arrived at the company where we worked to find these notes posted to the candy vending machine. (mind you, it was 8:45 in the morning.) apparently, the man who fills the vending machines — a.k.a ‘the candy man’ — had failed to restock [...]

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an anonymous submitter in ann arbor, michigan received this e-mail from a guy who just moved into her co-op (”basically a co-ed frat house”) for the rest of the summer. “we’ve tried to reason with him,” she says, to no avail. “when asked why he has to get up so early, he says, ‘i have [...]

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“a few years back i was living in a halfway house in canberra where theft from the communal kitchen was a common problem,” writes alex in australia. “one morning we woke to discover that the fridge had gone missing.” (the coffee in question was stolen from a cupboard, but apparently the owner thought removing the [...]

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terri in d.c. found this sign-bedecked scooter outside her apartment hilarious for three reasons. first off, “the fact that one of those little squirrely-looking scooter guys got out his most aggressive art supply and wrote “fuck off and die” to a stranger.”
second, she says: “i live between two churches, a library, an elementary school, [...]

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tourist traps have the best signs. more proof? this exercise in subtlety is from provincetown, mass., where it was spotted by intrepid vacationer teresa from boise.

exhibit b) is from washington, d.c., in a store sam says sold “all sorts of crap, from nixon and michael jackson pins to african drums and sweaters.” (admittedly, this one’s [...]

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writes deanne: “because orlando prides itself on being a friendly city, we tend to do most of our dirty work via passive-aggressive notes and signs. this one is from the front door of a tacky tourist shop on international drive. i can get past the reference to ‘plane rude’ but the ‘macdonalds’ analogy is a [...]

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this just in: starving unborn children aren’t the only casualties of office fridge lunch thievery. as one anonymous new yorker reports, now the sick and the infirm are being picked off, too!

(thank you kindly? best wishes? hungry on the 12th floor, you kill me.)

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PES picked this note out of an apartment building in newark, nj in 2004 because he loved the paragraph, which is oh-so-amazing. add in the peculiar diction and the glorious redundancy of it all, and you’ve got one fucking delicious note.

p.s. for more deliciousness, be sure to check out the stop-motion shorts at eatpes.com.

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“okay, so i’m not sure if i’m in the wrong on this one,” says melanie from sydney. “i have a long haired cat who sheds a lot, so i just used to pick up the bits of fur and throw them out the window.” (um, right, of course.) melanie continues: “i’m on the third [...]

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our anonymous submitter has held on to this email for more than five years now, but she still has no idea what she did to offend the sender. she barely knew him at the time, she says, “and needless to say, i don’t know him any better now, except i have a better handle on [...]

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“the healthy companies committee” explains katherine in d.c., is the name of the office pep squad led by the sender of the e-mail. (”ironically,” she adds, “he does not seem to be able to deal with his frustration in a ‘healthy’ way.”)
the hilarity of this note is more subtle than say, a “thank you terry,” [...]

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mary saw this collection of missives while visiting friends in long island city, queens last spring.

anthony left a note on the door…

saving his pennies for someday…

you oughta know by now

workin’ too hard can give you a heart attackackackackackack

and it seems such a waste of time

you should never argue with a crazy [...]

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(thanks to frank in san francisco. )

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an amazing one from brian in cleveland:

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this isn’t just a note — it’s a work of art. and it’s about 100 shades of amazing.
i’ll let rich explain:
i had a party at my house once in college, and one of our roommates who was going to be gone was really scared that someone was going to sleep in his bed. so, [...]

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dispatches from an oh-so-common passive-aggressive battleground…

so, whose side are you on?

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