Entries Tagged as 'questionable logic'
This just in: starving unborn children aren’t the only casualties of office fridge lunch thievery. As one anonymous New Yorker reports, now the sick and the infirm are being picked off, too!
(Thank you kindly? Best wishes? Hungry on the 12th floor, you kill me.)
Tags: cleaning · exclamation-point happy!!!! · food · guilt trip · ital overkill · New York · office fridge · questionable logic · rhetorical question · sarcasm · thanks (but not really)
PES picked this note out of an apartment building in Newark, New Jersey in 2004 because he loved the third paragraph, which is oh-so-amazing. Add in the peculiar diction and the glorious redundancy of it all, and you’ve got one fucking delicious note.
related: Your to lazy
extra credit: For more deliciousness, be sure to check out the stop-motion shorts at eatpes.com.
Tags: CAPS LOCK · exclamation-point happy!!!! · garbage · gloriously redundant · graffiti · landlords and property managers · loitering · most popular notes of 2007 · New Jersey · Newark · not-so-veiled threats · questionable logic · shameless meme-mongering · smoking · vandalism
“Okay, so I’m not sure if I’m in the wrong on this one,” says Melanie from Sydney. “I have a long-haired cat who sheds a lot, so I just used to pick up the bits of fur and throw them out the window.” (Um, right, of course.) Melanie continues: “I’m on the third floor and look out over the street, so I didn’t think it would upset anyone. but then I found this clump of cat hair in my mailbox.”
Melanie adds: “I live in a block of 40+ units and my cat is an indoor cat, so a) no one really knows I have him, and b) it must have pretty hard to track done the owner of the multi-shedding, window-fur-tossing cat. That one clump of fur — which they would have had to have collected over a period of at least two weeks — says more than words ever could.”
related: The cats must go!
Tags: actions speak louder · Australia · cats · neighbors · questionable logic · Sydney
Our anonymous submitter has held on to this e-mail for more than five years now, but she still has no idea what she did to offend the sender. She barely knew him at the time, she says, “and needless to say, I don’t know him any better now, except I have a better handle on his mental state.”
Tags: CAPS LOCK · e-mail · excessive underlining · not-so-veiled threats · questionable logic · spelling and grammar police
“The Healthy Companies Committee,” explains Katherine in D.C., is the name of the office pep squad led by the sender of the e-mail. (“Ironically,” she adds, “he does not seem to be able to deal with his frustration in a ‘healthy’ way.”)
The hilarity of this note is more subtle than say, a “Thank you Terry,” but don’t be fooled: it’s not your garden-variety “do your dishes” note, either. (Pay particular attention to paragraphs one and four.) It’s like something straight out of a script from The Office.
Don’t you wish you could read the earlier drafts?
Tags: comma diarrhea · confusion??? · D.C. · dishes · dishwasher · e-mail · exclamation-point happy!!!! · not-so-veiled threats · office · questionable logic · royal we · spelling and grammar police
Mary saw this collection of missives while visiting friends in Long Island City, Queens last spring.
Anthony left a note on the door…
Saving his pennies for someday…
You oughta know by now
Workin’ too hard can give you a heart attackackackackackack
And it seems such a waste of time
You should never argue with a crazy mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mind
But she’s not movin’ out.
Tags: landlords and property managers · money · more aggressive than passive · more like crazy · most popular notes of 2007 · moving/not moving · Queens · questionable logic · rebuttals · spelling and grammar police
Tags: California · e-mail · food · mold · office · questionable logic · San Francisco · sarcasm
“My co-workers and I were in love with this note when we found it attached to the office refrigerator,” says Brian in Cleveland. “We wanted a copy, but the woman frightened us. So we came up with an elaborate scheme. One co-worker walked to the kitchen carrying a folder. She grabbed the note, stuffed it inside, and walked down the hallway. She handed it to another co-worker and stood watch. That co-worker raced to give it to me, who rapidly made a copy. Then we reversed the sequence. Within two minutes, the note was back on the fridge, and we were in heaven.”
So worth the effort though, right?
Tags: CAPS LOCK · cheese · Cleveland · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Moms & Dads · more aggressive than passive · most popular notes of 2007 · office · office fridge · Ohio · pleasantries as afterthought · preggers · questionable logic · spelling and grammar police · stealing
This isn’t just a note — it’s a work of art. And it’s about 100 shades of amazing.
I’ll let Rich explain: “I had a party at my house once in college, and one of our roommates who was going to be gone was really scared that someone was going to sleep in his bed. so, instead of, you know, telling us not to use his room, he decided to post this hilarious note that only an aspiring personal injury lawyer could produce.”
related: CARE — it makes a difference
Tags: "helpful" advice · college life · excessive underlining · Iowa · more like crazy · not-so-veiled threats · questionable logic · roommates · TL;DR · touching
Dispatches from an oh-so-common passive-aggressive battleground: “the common area.”
So, whose side are you on?
Tags: confusion??? · moving/not moving · questionable logic · roommates