Entries Tagged as 'questionable logic'
An anonymous submitter in Ann Arbor, Michigan received this e-mail from a guy who just moved into her co-op (“basically a co-ed frat house”) for the rest of the summer. “We’ve tried to reason with him,” she says, to no avail. “When asked why he has to get up so early, he says, ‘I have important things to do in the morning,’ and that’s it.”
The even bigger mystery? Wonders our submitter: “Why, if he needs complete silence at night, did he move in with 16 other college kids on summer break?”
related: there will come soft pains
Tags: and that's an order · college life · drizzunk · e-mail · Michigan · noise · questionable logic · roommates · sleeping · spelling and grammar police · thanks (but not really)
“A few years back I was living in a halfway house in Canberra where theft from the communal kitchen was a common problem,” writes Alex in Australia. “One morning we woke to discover that the fridge had gone missing.” (The coffee in question was stolen from a cupboard, but apparently the owner thought removing the fridge was the best form of attack.)
The fridge incident went unresolved for many months, Alex says, because none of the residents could be bothered to move it back inside…and nobody had $3 to spare. In fact, he says, no one ever seemed all too concerned about the whole thing, explaining, “because we spent most of our money on vice, we had no food to put in the fridge anyway.”
Eventually (long afterAlex moved out) the fridge was declared a traffic hazard, and a charity took it away.
related: Um, Rene Hall?
Tags: actions speak louder · Australia · Canberra · CAPS LOCK · fridge · money · questionable logic · roommates · stealing · You call that punctuation? · you know who you are
Terri in D.C. found this sign-bedecked scooter outside her apartment hilarious for three reasons. First off, “the fact that one of those little squirrely-looking scooter guys got out his most aggressive art supply and wrote ‘fuck off and die’ to a stranger.”
Second, she says: “I live between two churches, a library, an elementary school, and a high school. Classy place to curse at passersby!” And the best part, says Terri? “The neighborhood I live in in D.C. is named Mount Pleasant.”
related: Nice try
Tags: blitzkrieg approach · D.C. · die bitch die · irregular capitalization · questionable logic · scooters & mopeds · stealing
“It seems too many people have made love to the office water cooler,” says Lizzy in New York. And some of them, it seems, are getting a little sloppy.
Lizzy says the “Office of Water” thing refers to the fact that “Our office is full of water. Like, the fridge doesn’t have anything but bottled water and Coke,” but I’m not quite buying it. I’d like to think this came from the EPA’s official Office of Water (Benjamin H. Grumbles, assistant administrator).
Tags: CAPS LOCK · D.C. · double-entendre alert · New York · obnoxious definition · office · questionable logic · spelling and grammar police · that's unsanitary · water
Tourist traps have the best signs. More proof? This exercise in subtlety is from Provincetown, Mass., where it was spotted by intrepid vacationer Teresa from Boise.
Exhibit b) is from Washington, D.C., in a store Sam says sold “all sorts of crap, from Nixon and Michael Jackson pins to African drums and sweaters.”
And in Las Vegas, even “the ice cream of the future” doesn’t get a special exemption.
Tags: beverages · blitzkrieg approach · Cape Cod · CAPS LOCK · D.C. · food · ice cream · Massachusetts · questionable logic · smoking · tourists
Writes Deanne: “Because Orlando prides itself on being a friendly city, we tend to do most of our dirty work via passive-aggressive notes and signs. This one is from the front door of a tacky tourist shop on international drive. I can get past the reference to ‘plane rude’ but the ‘Macdonalds’ analogy is a stretch.” (I’d add that characterizing this as a safety concern is a bit of a stretch too, but I think the amazing clip art and the hand-drawn smiley are what really push this one over the top.)
Adds Deanne: “I’ve never brought a Burger King bag into McDonald’s, but that’s not because of fast food etiquette, just lack of time. I did bring a Macy’s bag into a Sears store, and I’ve never felt the least bit guilty about it!”
Tags: clip art catastrophe · etiquette · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Florida · Orlando · questionable logic · retail hell · smiley · spelling and grammar police
This just in: starving unborn children aren’t the only casualties of office fridge lunch thievery. As one anonymous New Yorker reports, now the sick and the infirm are being picked off, too!
(Thank you kindly? Best wishes? Hungry on the 12th floor, you kill me.)
Tags: cleaning · exclamation-point happy!!!! · food · guilt trip · ital overkill · New York · office fridge · questionable logic · rhetorical question · sarcasm · thanks (but not really)