That’s right narcs, just move it along!

(Now fast-forward about 10 years or so…)

related:  See you never again in my life

Option a) “Hey, Iva, could you buy some TP? We’re out.”

Option b) Several weeks of seething funneled into eight six colored markers’ worth of heart exclamation point smiley THREAT heart heart.

And the winner is…

Gee, Bell, that IS funny, cuz you really threw me off with that “I hope you had a nice day!! <3 ” shit. (I’M ACTUALLY KIDDING. I WILL CUT YOU.)

related: One sure sign your roommate situation isn’t working out?

Okay, crazy cat lovers — enough. Let’s get back to a topic we can all agree on, like, say, how some people are OMG soooo dumb. (Lawls all around!) For example, Jeremy claims the colorful banner to the left was posted by an R.A. at a dorm on his California college campus.

related: You say “debackle,” I say…who let you into college?

extra credit: How do you pronounce “Qatar”? [Slate]

So, which of these cutesy little rhymes is least likely to make you stab yourself in the eye?

Exhibit a) from an office break room in Atlanta, Georgia?

Exhibit b) from a college dorm suite in Winston-Salem, North Carolina?

Or — smiley-face-free! — exhibit c) from a share house full of frat boys in Los Angeles?

Still there? If so, you probably need a palate-cleanser after all those cringe-worthy couplets, so I’ll leave you with this delicate haiku from an office in Washington, D.C.

related: Scatological Poetry Slam

Sarah in London found this note — and the cheeky response — posted in the lobby of her former apartment building.

“Entry to the flats is by way of a concrete outside walkway,” she explains. “Unfortunately, if someone has noisy heels, the sound tends to reverberate throughout the building.”

Of course, the above complainer isn’t the only person who has a problem with stilettos…a.k.a. “fucking shoes”?

related: The two-word compromise you’re looking for: zip wire

You decide: which masterpiece is most worthy of the Lisa Frank award for the most artistic expression of repressed rage?

Is it Exhibit a, from a hip-hop retail store in California?

Exhibit b, from an American college dorm?

Or Exhibit c, from a shared apartment in Guelph, Ontario?

Oh, and ladies? As you busy yourself with your construction paper and colored markers, never forget the most disgusting thing!

related: What, no bubble letters?

Two target customers for Lisa Frank’s new line of movie tie-in stickers — coming soon to the Hot Topic/Urban Outfitters near you!

(Above, from Colorado. Below, from California.)

related: Do not kiss on someone else’s kiss
extra credit: The legend of Casey™ and Caymus™

Writes an anonymous submitter in Houston: “A neighbor in my building put up an Obama yard sign on the door of her apartment around the time of the Texas primary. When it disappeared, I assumed she took it down herself.”

Then up went this note — a cheerful bit of propaganda that oh-so-subtly disproves all those ugly stereotypes about “self-righteous Obama supporters” with a colorful blaze of moralistic tsk-tsking and First-Amendment flag-waving. (Woo! Obama ’08!)

related: A little bit of shameless gloating

An anonymous submitter in Portland, Maine is currently chafing under one of the most common irritants of communal living: a roommate “who has never once bought toilet paper.”

She and her other roommate tried some of the more subtle manuevers in the passive-aggressive playbook — up to and including the ol’ hide-and-carry — to no avail. (“When we run out, he uses our paper towels instead,” she says.) That is, until her roommate, who’d “had enough of plunging his shit,” decided to up the ante with this note.

related: oh, she said it