PassiveAggressiveNotes.com » rainbow-colored

The old “wipe & walk” trick

Kerry — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 03:04:26 +0000

Option a) “Hey, Iva, could you buy some TP? We’re out.”

Option b) Several weeks of seething funneled into eight six colored markers’ worth of heart exclamation point smiley THREAT heart heart.

And the winner is…

Gee, Bell, that IS funny, cuz you really threw me off with that “I hope you had a nice day!! <3 ” shit. (I’M ACTUALLY KIDDING. I WILL CUT YOU.)

Yes, this is from a college campus.

Kerry — Tue, 08 Feb 2011 03:00:18 +0000

Okay, crazy cat lovers — enough. Let’s get back to a topic we can all agree on, like, say, how some people are OMG soooo dumb. (Lawls all around!) For example, Jeremy claims the colorful banner to the left was posted by an R.A. at a dorm on his California college campus.

extra credit: How do you pronounce “Qatar”? [Slate]

Passive-Aggressive Kitchen-Sink Poetry

Kerry — Fri, 23 Apr 2010 05:01:35 +0000

So, which of these cutesy little rhymes is least likely to make you stab yourself in the eye?

Exhibit a) from an office break room in Atlanta, Georgia?

Exhibit b) from a college dorm suite in Winston-Salem, North Carolina?

Or — smiley-face-free! — exhibit c) from a share house full of frat boys in Los Angeles?

Still there? If so, you probably need a palate-cleanser after all those cringe-worthy couplets, so I’ll leave you with this delicate haiku from an office in Washington, D.C.

related: Scatological Poetry Slam

Do these stilettos match my broomstick?

Kerry — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 00:39:18 +0000

Sarah in London found this note — and the cheeky response — posted in the lobby of her former apartment building.

“Entry to the flats is by way of a concrete outside walkway,” she explains. “Unfortunately, if someone has noisy heels, the sound tends to reverberate throughout the building.”

Of course, the above complainer isn’t the only person who has a problem with stilettos…a.k.a. “fucking shoes”?

Girls gone wild…with colored markers

Kerry — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 21:09:08 +0000

You decide: which masterpiece is most worthy of the Lisa Frank award for the most artistic expression of repressed rage?

Is it Exhibit a, from a hip-hop retail store in California?

Exhibit b, from an American college dorm?

Or Exhibit c, from a shared apartment in Guelph, Ontario?

Oh, and ladies? As you busy yourself with your construction paper and colored markers, never forget the most disgusting thing!

related: What, no bubble letters?

He’s just not that into unicorns

Kerry — Mon, 16 Feb 2009 04:04:58 +0000

Two target customers for Lisa Frank’s new line of movie tie-in stickers — coming soon to the Hot Topic/Urban Outfitters near you!

(Above, from Colorado. Below, from California.)

The audacity of theft

kerry — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 19:54:19 +0000

Writes an anonymous submitter in Houston: “A neighbor in my building put up an Obama yard sign on the door of her apartment around the time of the Texas primary. When it disappeared, I assumed she took it down herself.”

Then up went this note — a cheerful bit of propaganda that oh-so-subtly disproves all those ugly stereotypes about “self-righteous Obama supporters” with a colorful blaze of moralistic tsk-tsking and First-Amendment flag-waving. (Woo! Obama ’08!)

You might want to take a hard look at your washcloth.

Kerry — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 09:51:31 +0000

An anonymous submitter in Portland, Maine is currently chafing under one of the most common irritants of communal living: a roommate “who has never once bought toilet paper.”

She and her other roommate tried some of the more subtle manuevers in the passive-aggressive playbook — up to and including the ol’ hide-and-carry — to no avail. (“When we run out, he uses our paper towels instead,” she says.) That is, until her roommate, who’d “had enough of plunging his shit,” decided to up the ante with this note.

related: oh, she said it

Shittiest secret admirer ever?

Kerry — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 18:26:31 +0000

“My roommate thinks I took her dry erase board when I was 40 miles away the week it was taken,” says an anonymous college student in Tampa, Florida. “She has been leaving me notes like this ALL YEAR.”

God help our poor submitter, but I’m nominating this crazy rainbow of a note for the passive-aggressive hall of fame. (Prize: a year’s worth of anger-management therapy?)

Market segmentation

Kerry — Tue, 25 Sep 2007 12:58:44 +0000

From Jasmine in Georgia…