Entries Tagged as 'rebuttals'

Or…how about no signs at all?

May 31st, 2012 · 37 Comments

Scoffs our submitter in Los Angeles: “Because as a healthy, functioning, adult, you really need to be reminded that you’re a good person for cleaning up after yourself.”

Can we put up any positive signs?

related: Three never-ending office arguments

Tags: Los Angeles · microwave · office · rebuttals

60% of the time it works every time

May 5th, 2012 · 30 Comments

Pat in London works for a large office, where, unfortunately for the many java addicts on staff, the coffeemaker has a habit of breaking down. Also, Pat says, “It’s an advertising agency, so there are lots of grammar pedants.” The result?

OUT OF ORDER - engineer called -  I SAID OUT OF ORDER - WHICH MEANS NO YOU CANNOT HAVE A COFFEE - Well...you can try if you feel lucky... - There is another coffee machine on the fifth floor - But no toilets... - Except for the two that are there... - LOUD NOISES - 60% of the time it works every time - Stop wasting VALUABLe office stationary - <--stationery --- WRITE RESPONSIBLY -- Nothing in this place works! -- I prefer tea anyway :(

related: Just be glad you don’t know what’s in the coffee

Tags: coffee · London · note wars · office · smartass · spelling and grammar police

Will it recycle?

March 14th, 2012 · 49 Comments

Kristen in San Francisco says the copy room is ground zero for office arguments, such as this battle of the “enviro people.”

"Enviro People: Paper wrappers are NOT Recyclable. -Mother Earth" "Really Ma?" "Please Don't Waste Paper for Unnecessary Signage"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Meanwhile, Ryan in Minneapolis says his building manager left the following note on the mailbox, apparently “after a vagrant left a little ‘present’ in the recycling bin.” Adds Ryan: “Why he thought anyone in the apartment house would do such a thing is beyond any of us.”

PLEASE DO NOT DEFECATE IN THE GARBAGE OR RECYCLING BINS!

related: Hair is not recyclable!

 

Tags: Minneapolis/St. Paul · rebuttals · recycling · San Francisco · shit · The Earth

Grow an orange tree and grow up.

March 8th, 2012 · 38 Comments

Oh goody, this argument again!

TOO MUCH NASTY COCA-COLA NOT ENOUGH OJ! O.J has been set free! Take a stab at it :) What? This is a Coke machine! Grow an orange tree and grow up. While we're all voicing our idiotic opinions, may I suggest that this machine carry booze? Think on it. 4LOCO mofo!

related: Enough with the fruit juices and diet sodas!

Tags: beverages · Coke · most popular notes of 2012 · note wars · vending machine drama

It’s not a chore; it’s a date!

January 16th, 2012 · 19 Comments

Spotted by Kathy at her office lunchroom in Seattle:

1: Hate to state the obvious...But-Your Mother doesn't work here...Please clean up after yourselves 2: Mom never really did much cleaning. She was kind of a drunk. 3: it shows...

The real sad reality?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZqDzKad2Q3M

 

related: You sure nag like my mother…

Tags: cleaning · office · rebuttals · Seattle · smartass · Your mother doesn't...

Sunday night laundry room showdown

December 12th, 2011 · 114 Comments

Emily in Michigan happens to go to the university with the largest residence hall system in the U.S., and the Sunday-night scene in the dorm laundry room can be, well, a bit of a shit show.

This is the scene Emily came across one such Sunday:

Sunday night laundry room showdown

And underneath…

Whoever took my clothes out of this dryer: It takes me HOURS to do laundry. I sanitize every washing machine + dryer with Lysol before I use it, + take great pains to not let my clothes touch anything in this room

ESPECIALLY the floor or table. By dumping my clean laundry on the table, you have completely disrespected my property + privacy (seriously, don't touch someone's underwear?!?) Please don't touch other people's shit again.

(Adds Emily: “The laundry room is very clean, but I guess some people need a little extra.”)

The saga continues when an innocent bystander jumps in to make nice…

While I understand and respect where you're coming from, I do not understand why you would let your clothes sit in the dryer for 15+ minutes when the laundry room is clearly backed up. In other words, be respectful and promptly take care of your shit. :)

Meanwhile, the instigator of all this is not the smiley face type.

To the person who left their clothes in the dryer forever

(just click the image above to enlarge it)

related: To whoever violated my laundry…

Tags: college life · guilt trip · laundry · Michigan · non-apology apology · note wars · rebuttals · smiley · that's disrespectful · touching

The Toilet Paper Manifesto

November 14th, 2011 · 90 Comments

When four people share one bathroom, true equity in toilet-paper purchasing is nearly impossible to come by without conflict.

Just take a look at the opening salvo issued at Laura’s apartment in Georgia:

Clearly, you use the bathroom, which means that you use the 12 rolls of toilet paper I bought a week ago. And you bought 4. Really? Is this okay in the eyes of baby Jesus? Equality is important in today's society. Do you know who doesn't like equality? TERRORISTS. TERRORISTS DO NOT LIKE EQUALITY.

…and the first response:

I've started using my own toilet paper. Sorry for any confusion.

Your move, “Scott.”

related: Five approaches to TP maintenance

Tags: college life · Georgia · gloriously redundant · Jesus · p.s. · rebuttals · roommates · signed with love · smartass · toilet paper · visual aids

Why can’t I turn this toaster on?

November 8th, 2011 · 59 Comments

Instead of letting the Facilities Dept. know that the toaster was broken, the folks in Catherine’s office opted to collaboratively solve the problem Apollo-13 style, using only the paper products found in the office supply cabinet.

The major difference? This time, failure was an option.

Won't heat up. (Maybe it's just not that into you?) It's not plugged in! (Even plugged in it doesn't work!)

related: I’m calling to report a case of toaster abuse?

Tags: kitchen · note wars · office · Oregon · smartass · toaster

A bitter butter battle

October 11th, 2011 · 189 Comments

“My two roommates have been locked in a butter war all week,” our submitter in Oregon reports. “One will pull out the butter to let it soften, and as soon as she walks away, the other will put it back in the fridge.”

Although our submitter says she’s made a point of staying out the debate, she spotted this note on her way out the door this morning…

Dear Roomie, Fun Fact: Butter is a dairy, and dairy spoils!! Unless you want to kill us all, Please stop leaving the butter out.

By the time she returned home from class, a second note had appeared as well.

Dear 'Roomie', Fun Fact: Clarified butter has preservatives in it that preclude it from spoiling. Although I enjoy your artistic interpretation of the dairy in question, they wouldn't have been able to eat butter in 12th century Scandinavia if it was fragile enough to spoil over night. There's no need for the butter drawing to look so sad.

Adds our submitter: “I’m pretty sure the butter won’t actually kill me as the pink note says, but I also wonder how long the other roommate spent picking out a font for the printed note. Also: one roommate is a comm major and the other studies history. See if you can guess which is which.”

Dear 'Roomie', Fun Fact: Clarified butter has preservatives in it that preclude it from spoiling. Although I enjoy your artistic interpretation of the dairy in question, they wouldn't have been able to eat butter in 12th century Scandinavia if it was fragile enough to spoil over night. There's no need for the butter drawing to look so sad.

related: Live and not-so-active roommate culture

Tags: butter · college life · food · fun fact · rebuttals · roommates · sad face

Perhaps your boss is due for a little chat with HR?

September 28th, 2011 · 31 Comments

The sign to the left was posted by the boss at an office in Oneonta, New York. (Adds our submitter: “He claims the spelling was autocorrected by Word.”)

Without even getting into the finer points of what might constitute a “hostile work environment,” I think it’s safe to say that encouraging your employees to commit suicide isn’t the best management technique.

IF YOU ARE NOT INTELLEGENT [sic] ENOUGH TO RINSE OUT THE EMPTIES, PLEASE KILL YOURSELF NOW.  [response:] What about not being able to spell

(Of course, some managers might disagree.)

You don't call retarded people retards. You call your friends retards when they're acting retarded.

related: Signs you might be stuck in a soul-sucking job

Tags: a little insensitive · crazy boss · die bitch die · more aggressive than passive · New York · now that's management · rebuttals · recycling · spelling and grammar police · that's irresponsible