Entries Tagged as 'rebuttals'
Every day, you watch them, in horror: Those vile, germ-laden, nether-region-wiping creatures who don’t wash their hands after using the toilet. Confronting the offenders directly wouldn’t work, because, well, you’re passive-aggressive, and that’s just not how you roll. So what to do next?
Well, you could dazzle them with some accusatory statistics…
…or attempt to appeal to the altruists in the audience.
And maybe try to lure in the sports fans with the promise of some fun trivia!
If they see through that little scheme, you could try patronizing your patrons outright…
…or just straight-up treat them like four-year-olds. (“Did you wash your hands?” “Yes.” “DID YOU WASH YOUR HANDS?” “I said yes!!!”)
Perhaps even a dash of reverse psychology?
Of course, those less-straightforward techniques just might just backfire on you. In that case, you could play the bully with THE CLIP ART THAT MUST BE STOPPED.
Or, if your clip-art collection is a bit larger…release the dragon!
Not scary enough? Maybe it’s time to bust out the F word.
Or the even scarier F-word: FECAL-ORAL.
And if that still doesn’t work? Well, I guess you’ll just have to flounce away, invest in some latex gloves, and vow to hold it ’til you get home.
(Thanks to Jen in Houston, Jenni in Spokane, Marley in Pittsburgh, Lindsey in Memphis, Laura in Richmond, and the many anonymous submitters for their contributions.)
related: Five approaches to toilet paper maintenance
extra credit: “On Washing Hands,” by Atul Gawande
extra extra credit: “Maybe You Touched Your Genitals” Liquid Hand Soap
Tags: "helpful" advice · a little patronizing · bullet points · clip art catastrophe · hygiene · office · rebuttals · restaurant · reverse psychology · rhetorical question · washing your hands
Our submitter in Amherst, Massachusetts was heading to class at UMass one day when she saw no fewer than twelve of these signs posted throughout the hallways and doors of her apartment building. “My neighbors had a fun time responding with comments all over them,” she says, at least for the day and half before they got taken down.
I think my favorite part of this one is the handwritten notes at the bottom. One neighbor suggests, “Perhaps you should talk to the people in this building instead of making them think you’re mean, dramatic and cowardly,” and the writer, pouty-faced, responds, “Well I have said this before and nobody listens.” (Unwritten response: “Boo-FUCKING-hoo. Sounds like somebody needs to get laid.” )
related: When parking gets political
Tags: bold underlined italics · car · exclamation-point happy!!!! · fuck fuckity fuck fuck · jealous much? · Massachusetts · neighbors · parking · rebuttals
So, apparently this is a thing.
At a service station in the U.K., as Kerrie from London noticed, personal safety is the justification.
At a University in Florida, it’s cleanliness.
Meanwhile, in Canada…
related: Nobody likes electric hand dryers (except for ZOMG the Dyson Airblade!!!)
Tags: bathroom · disgruntled janitor · rebuttals · that's irresponsible · that's unsanitary · The Earth · washing your hands
More proof that — no matter how in the right you are — writing a note about it makes you kind of an airhose, too. Especially if you’re using Comic Sans.
From Elizabeth at CMU in Pittsburgh:
And from Drake at BYU in Provo, Utah:
related: Please pickup your prints pomptly
extra credit: The man behind Comic Sans [wsj.com]
Tags: college life · Comic Sans Alert · door-slamming · most popular notes of 2010 · rebuttals · Utah
At our submitter’s college dorm in Lexington, Kentucky, one of the RAs posts an inspirational quote on the bathroom door each week. When one of the residents questioned why those “thoughts/encouragements” always happened to come from the Bible, the RA responded with a new source of inspiration.
related: No bread and circuses! But maybe an ice cream social?
Tags: college life · Lexington · note wars · RA
“This note magically appeared one day in our letter box late last year from an obviously unhappy neighbour,” says Anthony in Melbourne, Australia. “To this day we still don’t know the cat-hater, the cat owner, or the cat.”
related: Don’t feed the cat (or the trolls)
Tags: cats · kinda creepy · Melbourne · neighbors · rebuttals
Is it executive exceptionalism at work here? Supreme lack of self-awareness? A wicked sense of humor? You decide.
Exhibit a) from Reva in Reedsburg, Wisconsin
Exhibit b) from Peggy at the University of New Brunswick
Exhibit c) from Jess in San Francisco
related: Please respect my fellow employees and stop leaving notes
Tags: meta · office · rebuttals
Writes Brittney in California: “Apparently, my mom’s boyfriend was stuck with an insufficient amount of toilet paper, and being passive aggressive (because he really is) he decides to write a note about it and stick it on the mirror, rather than confront her.”
And, in the end….everybody loses!
related: I’m not here to wipe your dirty butt
Tags: California · rebuttals · sad face · sig o · smiley · toilet paper
“Our department head thought we should be be bringing in doughnuts more often,” says our anonymous submitter in Illinois. One of the department’s “severely underpaid” underlings, meanwhile, thought otherwise.
UPDATE: For those of you asking “But where’s the ridiculous clip art?!” I bring you this rather dashing toreador/sheriff (as spotted by Mel in the break room of her Ithaca, New York office).
While Mel doesn’t disagree with the sentiment behind the note, “It’s a bit off-putting to be presumed guilty of theft before the fact,” she says. “Also, there seems to be a degree of randomness to the number of exclamation points at the end of each line.” (And of course, that dandy of a sheriff.)
related: Straight out of the Michael Scott Playbook
Tags: bold underlined italics · bullet points · coffee · exclamation-point happy!!!! · food · Illinois · now that's management · office · raging against the machine · rebuttals · spelling and grammar police
The long arm of Uncle Sam has extended all the way up to this roommate squabble in Peterborough, Ontario.
“The note on the right,” our submitter says, “is is written by a roommate who (as you can see) does not recognize the hypocrisy of calling someone out for being passive-aggressive in her own passive-aggressive note.”
related: Are you proud to be an American?
Tags: Canada · Ontario · rebuttals · roommates · toilet