Entries Tagged as 'rebuttals'

No, really — it’s just research for my Andrea Dworkin paper!

December 12th, 2008 · 48 Comments

“There’s a lot of foot traffic at a certain computer lab at our university,” says our submitter in Ypsilanti, Michigan, “but it can only seat 30 at a time.”

In order to (in theory) alleviate the problem, and in practice, to give waiting students some new clip art to focus their rage upon, the university posted this sign on the door of the lab…to which several students added their own clarifications.

Really, though: which is a better simulation of post-college working life for the major of university graduates: writing a paper on themes of alienation in James Joyce…or periods of mind-numbing boredom punctuated by the furtive checking of status updates and the throwing of virtual snowballs? Mmm?

Have compassion in your hearts for people on Facebook!

related: Making time for the important things in life…like Facebook apps

Tags: actually totally reasonable · clip art catastrophe · college life · Facebook · im-speak · rebuttals

We didn’t “steal” your muffin — we leveraged it

November 10th, 2008 · 128 Comments

Sigh. Half the people in your department just got pink-slipped, your 401(k) is worth shit, and now, just when you thought things couldn’t get any worse…they’re coming for your muffin, too.

All in the name of shareholder value!

Stealing food, especially Muffins, is UNACCEPTABLE!

(Leaked by Sayf in Greenwich, Connecticut.)

related: Lean cuisine
extra credit: Morgan Stanley cancels Christmas, jobs [dealbreaker]

Tags: Connecticut · Greenwich · money · not-so-veiled threats · office fridge · rebuttals · stealing · touching

The identity property of flatmates

October 26th, 2008 · 93 Comments

Sarah in New Zealand says all three of these notes went up before 10 a.m. on Monday (trash day). Adds Sarah: “We can only assume that Oliver keeps some kind of detailed diary about everything that happens in our flat, but only refers to it when things haven’t been done.”

the identity property of flatmates

related: 10 people, one kitchen

Tags: garbage · New Zealand · note wars · roommates

The sink half-empty

September 4th, 2008 · 66 Comments

Our anonymous submitter sneakily snapped a photo of the whiteboard at a friend’s house in Urbana, Illinois.

Guys, can we stop leaving dishes on the edge of the sink + just put them in the sink or better yet in the dishwasher?

related: Oh sweetie, I love it when you talk dirty!

Tags: dishes · dishwasher · excessive underlining · Illinois · rebuttals · roommates · signed with love · Urbana · whiteboard

Currently on the table: a guest towel visa program

September 1st, 2008 · 75 Comments

Our anonymous submitter says his coworkers were taking stacks of paper towels from the bathroom and putting them in kitchen.

“HR evidently does not agree with this practice and decided to enact a one-towel play in the breakroom kitchen,” he says. (The office billing manager added the follow-up on the towels’ behalf.)

I am a hand towel for RESTROOM dispenser. I don't like kitchens. I want the right to choose where I live. Thank you - Kitchen paper towel

related: This is not positive communication

Tags: anthropomorphism · kitchen · rebuttals

There is a poor speller among us

June 30th, 2008 · 99 Comments

Writes our anonymous submitter from Kentucky: “I work at a gym. I was checking the women’s locker room to make sure it wasn’t a fetid stinkpit (it wasn’t) when I saw three of these lying on the counter. I went to throw them out and found a whole mess of them in the trash can, too.”

there is a poor speller among us

related: like a rotten sponge

Tags: CAPS LOCK · gym · Kentucky · rebuttals · spelling and grammar police · stealing · warning

Try not to bite the hand that the dog bites

May 12th, 2008 · 69 Comments

While paying his old office a weekend visit, Jimsu from Katy, Texas didn’t catch the original note (or, perhaps, conversation) that precipitated this huffy screed from the mailman…

Dear customer: You are absolutely correct. I should've been more considerate to your needs. Therefore if you do not have your mailbox key you will not receive any mail. Also this is not the mailbox. It is located around the corner. Any mail left on the ledge will remain there. Your mailman

…but he did spot the follow-up from the office smartass.

 Mailman - Please leave a cafe latte & some flowers with my mail. Thanx

related: This is why your postal worker is disgruntled

Tags: "customer service" · excessive underlining · going postal · note wars · office · oh snap · Texas · you be the judge

My boss, Vanna

February 18th, 2008 · 66 Comments

At Stanly’s office in Houston, the team has a whiteboard they update everyday with their accomplishments. Afer accidentally erasing his update, Stanly’s boss left him this message.

PLEASE UPDATE THE BOARD

Of course, Stanly had to return the gesture.

GOT 1 YESTERDAY SOMEONE ERASED IT!

related: the post-it wars

Tags: Houston · now that's management · office · rebuttals

Infinite note project

February 15th, 2008 · 86 Comments

Faydra in Gainesville, Florida lives in an apartment complex she describes as “a step above dorm living” — 85 females total, all of them coming and going at all hours. Faydra’s next-door neighbors kicked things off (with the most frightening clip art extravaganza ever) and things devolved from there. In chronological order:

infinite note project

infinite note project

infinite note project

related: A fancy feast

Tags: CAPS LOCK · clip art catastrophe · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Florida · neighbors · noise · rebuttals · smiley

There’s Hertz…and there’s “not exactly”

February 10th, 2008 · 50 Comments

Thanks to Rusty in Decatur, Georgia, who spotted this lovely exchange on the door of his apartment complex’s parking garage.

there's hertz...and there's

Tags: exclamation-point happy!!!! · neighbors · oh snap · parking · rebuttals