Entries Tagged as 'restaurant'

Curious sign is curious

April 29th, 2014 · 75 Comments

Any Portlanders know the story behind this sign? Our submitter, Sarah, is wondering, and now I am, too.

This is not a Japanese restaurant. You should slap the fool that told you those lies.

Aaaaand we have an answer. Thanks, Misti!

related: raw chicken + orgasms = ?

Tags: Portland · restaurant · WTF?

Lipstick Kisses and Pizza Breath Dreams

February 24th, 2014 · 32 Comments

Writes Jean in Minneapolis: “Apparently some cool college girls decided to leave their mark on the wall of this pizza joint, just out of eye shot from the kitchen. The entire hallway is sprinkled with lipstick kisses.”

To: Anyone who puts kissing stains on this wall - We wash this wall with toilet water. Thank you

related: Do not kiss on someone else’s kiss

Tags: Minneapolis/St. Paul · restaurant · so this is a thing? · that's unsanitary

WiBuy Local?

October 24th, 2013 · 69 Comments

“Foster’s Market in Chapel Hill, North Carolina is a pretty popular place right off a college campus,” says our submitter, Hope. “Lots of students come in, maybe get a coffee and sit for hours using the free wireless without buying anything else.” In response, the owners recently changed the name of the WiFi network. Gets the point across, no?

Our wireless network is called 'BUY A SANDWICH' and does not require a password

related: Passive-Aggressive WiFi

Tags: "customer service" · most popular notes of 2013 · North Carolina · restaurant

Take the plunge. We dare you.

March 18th, 2013 · 47 Comments

Apparently the patrons of this restaurant in Durham, NC thought that the ‘Out of Order’ sign on the bathroom stall was just a hilarious ruse.

Out of Order. Not kinda out of order but "out-out"-like for real. The toilet WILL overflow & will become known as "that time someone didn't heed the sign & used the toilet anyway & their stuff went everywhere.  + someone here will have to clean it + throw up in their mouth — avoid this please.

A close-up of the lower right corner:

+ someone here will have to clean it + throw up in their mouth — avoid this please.

related: Is this a toilet?

Tags: actually totally reasonable · North Carolina · restaurant · toilet

Relax, you miserable sod, you’re on island time!

October 10th, 2012 · 162 Comments

Spotted by Gretchen in the resort town of Mount Maunganui, New Zealand:

WE WOULD LIKE TO SUGGEST:- When ordering food please ask for the APPROXIMATE waiting time then perhaps do the following: Go for a walk, feed the seagulls, watch the ocean waves crashing against the sandy shore, chat to the boaties as they bring in their catch, sit down, relax, read a magazine, etc. etc. then pop back in at the right time and see if your order is ready or your number has been called.  WHAT WE DO NOT RECOMMEND:- Waiting with a sour face that even your mother would find hard to love, arms folded, tapping your feet, looking at your watch every thirty seconds, and asking if your food is ready every 60 seconds, then when its ready snatching it out of the hands of our tired and hassled staff.  PLEASE REMEMBER:- CHILL!! And let's have a stress free holiday.  A smile and patience cost nothing.  THANKYOU!!  Ps If you have forgotten how to smile and chill out there is an online guide at www.dontbesuchamiserablesod.com.

related: A clue that your whole “half-caf, extra hot, non-fat dressing-on-the-side” thing might be a bit much

Tags: "polite notice" · most popular notes of 2012 · New Zealand · p.s. · restaurant

This establishment is not “BYOO”

August 19th, 2012 · 56 Comments

So, apparently in Cuba, Missouri (pop. 3,071) folks take their onions seriously. (Would any Missourians out there care to explain?)

Attn. Customers This is a restaurant, please do not bring in alcoholic beverages, soft drinks, energy drinks, food, and that includes onions. Thank you, The Owners.

related: Yes, we wash our lemons!

Tags: restaurant · small town living · WTF?

This is not an all legs buffet.

July 11th, 2012 · 75 Comments

“Apparently chicken legs can cause quite the hullabaloo in a small town,” notes our submitter in Iowa.

!!BUFFET NOTICE!! We do our best to provide all pieces of chicken on our buffet. We offer a chicken buffet, not a

related: Sushi buffet rules

Tags: Iowa · most popular notes of 2012 · restaurant · small town living · stealing

A one-two brunch

June 10th, 2012 · 39 Comments

Writes Jennifer in Denver: “At the restaurant where I work, my co-worker has had some issues with the cooks not reading his tickets correctly.” (Apparently, Scott’s not one for the “you catch more flies with honey” approach.)

EGGS BENEDICT: PLEASE DON'T FUCK IT UP THIS TIME

related: How NOT to earn great restaurant tips

Tags: Denver · restaurant

The medium is the message

April 12th, 2012 · 34 Comments

I can’t speak for the food at the restaurant where Edwin works, but when it comes to this note from his boss, the irony is delicious.

Guest cks are NOT memo pads. Use scratch paper!

related: Please refrain from unintentional irony

Tags: now that's management · restaurant · Texas

(These parentheses are making my brain hurt)

February 21st, 2012 · 38 Comments

Michael says this chaotic jumble of parenthetical-underlined-CAPSLOCK has been up since he started working at this California sushi restaurant, much to his amusement.

Adds Michael: “I don’t care how much a customer tips me, I am not going to satisfy all of their needs.” (So, no rice dicks, then?)

WHAT ARE YOU DOING RIGHT NOW? (Personal phone calls during business hours) (Are you bothering others while they are working) (Too much fooling around and not paying attention to the customer) WHAT DO YOU THINK WOULD MAKE YOUR JOB EASIER?!!!! WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? (Taking care of customer) (Direct to customer with a kind and calm voice) (Satisfying all of your customers' needs) DO IT RIGHT NOW! (PLEASE DO NOT BE LAZY) (DO NOT WAIT UNTIL TOMORROW, DO IT NOW

Honestly, it’s that last missing parenthesis that really gets me. Just close it up! Do it now!

related: Under no circumstances shall any chef make a Rice Dick.

Tags: bizarro spacing · bold-underlined-caps · California · CAPS LOCK · confusion??? · restaurant · You call that punctuation?