At least a half-dozen submitters (including Spencer, Kelsae, and Mark) would pick this one — from a pizzeria in Provo, Utah.
“For those who don’t know, “lower kingdoms” comes from Mormon theology, where they believe that people are sorted out into three kingdoms instead of the traditional heaven and hell option,” Kelsae says.
Adds Spencer: “There’s a [...]

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Noah in Richmond, Virginia spotted this earnest plea in the bathroom of “a funky little coffee shop” on the Outer Banks of North Carolina. “The sign was also on a bulletin board in the middle of the shop as well,” he says — “just in case the thief was avoiding the scene of the crime.”
And [...]

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Jack in Baltimore spotted this notice at a Maryland Chinese restaurant with a $7 all-you-can-eat sushi buffet.  (Overall, a pretty good deal, Jack says…if you’re comfortable the idea of eating “discount” raw fish.) But while most all-you-can eat buffets make their margins by filling you up with a bounty of cheap carbolicious fare, that strategy [...]

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Laura in Los Angeles spotted this note at a tropical-themed family restaurant in Rosemead, California, where aquariums figure heavily into the decor. The biggest fish, Laura says, occupies his (her?) own tank at the front of the restaurant.
Piscine body image issues aside, as a former casual-dining restaurant hostess  — a job that generally means bearing [...]

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Writes Marni in Brooklyn: “We tried this restaurant back when they first opened. The food was pretty bad, it took forever to arrive, and I believe our waitress quit or was fired (either way, there was some yelling) during our meal. Many gimmicks involving morning coffee were attempted, but the signage made the food look really [...]

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Writes our anonymous submitter: “I own a restaurant, and the writer of the note is a college student who has worked for me for a while now.  Yesterday, her pal flatly refused to put on her uniform (a chef coat) and I was so tired of her shenanigans that I roared at her right before [...]

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A message from your friendly fast food worker, Corey in Mount Pleasant, Michigan: “Sometimes, food service customers do not fully appreciate the people/work that goes into making their orders. It’s thought that spitting in someone’s sandwich is routine, but we often find the secret messages to be more satisfying.”

related: this is why your server is [...]

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Just remember: smashing packets of condiments might be a festive way to celebrate, but it’ll cost you.

(Thanks to Coral from Minnesota for the photo.)
related: Deviled egg, anyone?

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“I’m a server at a chain restaurant,” writes our anonymous submitter, “and we have a bulletin board in the back where people can trade shifts. Lately, people have been including (along with their phone number and shift information) sad stories about why you should choose their shift to pick up (instead of all the other [...]

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Writes Marc from Chicago: “I saw this in a small town off Route 26 in Nebraska. As soon as I finished snapping photos of the signs, the woman who ran the drive-thru came out and demanded to know what I was doing. Once she realized that I was not there to mess with the sign, [...]

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the village of irvington, new york, aaron explains, is a quiet suburb of the big apple in westchester county. “it’s got one main drag, conveniently named main street, where all the major businesses are located,” he says. one day, ” a public services vehicle pulled up too far on the sidewalk for the local italian [...]

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jesse says he spotted this sign at a great mongolian restaurant in the dallas area. “they recently changed their name from ton’s mongolian grill to tao’s garden, but apparently they haven’t figured out how to spell it yet.”

related: best. potluck. theme. ever.

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christine in san rafael, california says sol food is “literally the best thing about san rafael.” one reason? the restaurant “keeps this gem of a note right where it belongs — on display in the glass cabinet outside the front door, where most restaurants would keep a menu.”
seeing as the note has been up [...]

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Heather says this pizzeria in Victoria, B.C. has been confounding customers with its customer service “policy” for as long as she can remember. (Which I guess means…it’s working?)

related: ps bacon is life

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Here’s a trio of notes from California that each make me very uncomfortable…and not just because of the painful lack of irony.
First up: an excerpt from seating guidelines posted at the quaint little Mexican restaurant in Huntington Beach where Brynn used to waitress. So quaint, Brynn says, “They also posted a dress code rule that [...]

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marc in san francisco spotted this at a restaurant in the haight called all you knead (have fun with those puns, kids). i can certainly empathize, but after reading some of the reviews…well, maybe there’s a reason the tips aren’t so great.

related: a friendly tip from your waitress

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Myra spotted this note at the fine dining establishment known as Tudor’s Biscuit World in Roanoke, Virginia. (For the record, she says, don’t believe the hype — the biscuits aren’t all that great. But if you’re looking for a place to bear witness…)

related: There you go, bringing Him into it again

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at the washington restaurant where scott works, a customer recently informed one of his coworkers that when she was a waitress back in the day, tips were regarded as a luxury (a sentiment that’s been echoed by many commenters on this site).
thrilled as she was by this little history lesson, scott’s coworker decided a little [...]

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reading in the bathroom is one thing…but kicking back with a purloined snapple? that’s one step too far for this food service establishment, as spotted by jenny in washington, d.c.

you gotta love that passive voice! any kindly guesses re: the crossed-out word?

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writes tessa, who works at a restaurant in albuquerque: “the day manager left this note for the night cook, who does spend all night smoking, watching TV and calling his girlfriend on the business phone.” (i’m sure this note will absoutley set him straight.)

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Exhibit a) submitted by an anonymous bystander at a lunch counter in Oregon Caves National Park:

Exhibit b) submitted by Patrick in Kansas City, Missouri, who explains: “My friends Chris and Katie had a rude waitress a few weeks ago. In order to tell the waitress that there was indeed a reason she wasn’t getting a [...]

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