Entries Tagged as 'retail hell'
Writes Jaime in Austin: “My husband and I lift weights at Gold’s Gym and we love it (no, really!) — except for their new signage reminding people to mop up their sweat.”
Meanwhile, next door…
(Well, sort of.) Kathryn spotted this similarly understated/backhanded message in an upscale Orlando, Florida boutique.
related: Like a rotten sponge
Tags: Austin · gym · hygiene · Orlando · retail hell
Evan in San Diego spotted this bilingual warning in a local thrift shop. “I particularly enjoy the vaguely racist implication of the Spanish translation,” Evan adds. “It’s the only sign in the store (among dozens) that’s en espanol.”
related: When nature calls
Si te robas algo de esta tienda, es lo mismo que robar de alguien que esta infectado con SIDA. Fijate!!! Stealing from this shop is the same as stealing from people with AIDS. Consider this!!!
Tags: Espanol · guilt trip · oh no you didn't · questionable logic · retail hell · San Diego · stealing
Writes Marc from Chicago: “I saw this in a small town off Route 26 in Nebraska. As soon as I finished snapping photos of the signs, the woman who ran the drive-thru came out and demanded to know what I was doing. Once she realized that I was not there to mess with the sign, she became friendly. Evidently, the situation was exactly as it appeared: unidentified no-goodniks had been swiping the letters from the sign or re-arranging the amiable witticisms (‘Men, I don’t understand. Chocolate, I’m an expert!’) into significantly ruder form.”
Meanwhile, Rikki spotted this sign (which may or may not be an homage to this one, which made the rounds on the interweb a few years back) in downtown Oklahoma City.
related: and pull up your sign
Tags: Nebraska · Oklahoma · restaurant · retail hell · stealing · vandalism
Jennifer in Echo Park admits that she stole this note under the cover of night — she found it stuck with silver electrical tape to the back of a battered electrician’s work truck — BUT, she contends, “I would never ever steal someone’s leather pants (out of their truck). I am not a monster.”
Meanwhile, Sam in Pomona snapped this photo at the local Wal-Mart. Will this persecution never end?!
related: I know where she lives
Tags: California · guilt trip · Los Angeles · retail hell · stealing
Our anonymous submitter in Seattle, an artist, used to pass the downtime at his day job by doodling on boxes. “They know it was me,” our submitter says, but instead of, you know, confronting him, management decided — in true passive-aggressive style — to hang this critique up for all to see.
related: Just a friendly reminder [you hussy you!]
Tags: a little patronizing · art · now that's management · retail hell · Seattle · smiley
Our submitter, B., was shopping at a shoe store in San Francisco when she realized she really needed to use the facilities. Although there was no public restroom in sight, she did spy the familiar infographic just beyond a doorway marked “employees only.” When she ducked inside, B. was greeted by this sublimely creepy warning from management[!].
Meanwhile, Chelsea’s boss at the La Quinta in Perrysburg, Ohio managed to dial up the creepy just a smidge more.
Apparently disatisfied with the staff’s response to her frequent written notes, the hotel manager brought in this doll — which chelsea says “looked exactly like her” — to do the job instead. (Er, so to speak.)
related: So many questions
Tags: big brother-ish · crazy boss · now that's management · Ohio · retail hell · San Francisco
This masterpiece is a gift from the collection of Zedral (Morgantown, West Virginia, 2008). The original installation also includes a trail of small arrows pointing customers toward the register, along with multiple post-it reiterations along the way.
related: Ceci n’est pas une note passif-agressif
Tags: "customer service" · CAPS LOCK · excessive underlining · Morgantown · retail hell
5. Being a stupid, illiterate jerk.
4. What, can’t you read?
3. Seriously, are you fucking illiterate?
2. Do we look like the kind of store that sells “I just called to say I love you”?
And last but not least…
1. The Internet (probably)
related: Our customers are always right…except when they’re wrong.
extra credit: thanks, mr. hipster
Tags: "customer service" · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Ithaca · most popular notes of 2008 · music · retail hell
At the Circuit City in Bradenton, Florida (which I envision something like this) one anonymous employee reports that much of the staff’s downtime is spent obsessively playing Guitar Hero 3 in the store’s breakroom. They even have a 42-inch wall-mounted flatscreen expressly for this purpose. Or at least, they did, until about a month ago.
Our anonymous employee takes umbrage with two issues here. First of all, “there are more than 50 employees who share this room. Does it really look that dirty?” And second, the fact that “instead of reminding us to pick up during any one of our 30 daily meetings, someone actually wasted the time to TAKE PICTURES of the ‘mess’ and hang them in place of the TV. Wouldn’t a simple, ‘hey y’all, clean up your shit?’ have been much, much more efficient?”
What is this “efficiency” of which you speak? It’s certainly not in the retail management handbook!
related: office anthropomorphism
Tags: CAPS LOCK · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Florida · now that's management · retail hell · that's disrespectful · visual aids
Ruben in Pregon works for an Apple reseller where the managers like to fire up the sales team with little competitions. (iPhones don’t sell themselves, people! For that, you’ll have to hold out for version 2.0.)
When Josh, the store’s very own Dwight Schrute, was pronounced the winner of a recent contest, things unfolded pretty much the way you’d expect.
The only person more universally reviled than the office suckup? the new guy, of course.
Says Ruben: “Most of us are real sticklers for keeping track of new product, but recently we brought on this new guy, Victor, and he hasn’t been doing too well.” Ruben came into work one day to find this MacBook battery on one of the tech benches, along with these notes that explain the entire story in just nine words. (And three question marks.)
Ruben says this pwnage became less hilarious when Victor actually did end up getting fired. “Awwkard!”
related: Your last day of work was yesterday
Tags: confusion??? · fired · group bitchfest · office · Oregon · retail hell · whiteboard