Entries Tagged as 'roommates'

Communal kitchen canoodling

May 9th, 2013 · 49 Comments

Our submitter in Canada, who lives in a rooming house with a shared kitchen, laughed pretty hard upon finding this note. “It’s just so specific. So very specific.”

When you drop noodles, pick them up - I don't like the way they feel on my FEET!

“P.S.,” our submitter adds: “I didn’t drop the noodles.”

related: Well, someone’s feeling a little chippy…

Tags: food · roommates · WTF?

Trading up

May 8th, 2013 · 52 Comments

This seems like a conversation you should probably have in person, no? I mean…ouch.

Justin, Would you be willing to move out? My friend Mark is looking to move to Berkeley & it would be awesome if he could live here. He's planning on coming June 20th ish. -Lenny

related: Dear Alex, GET OUT.

Tags: Berkeley · moving/not moving · roommates

It loses something in translation

May 7th, 2013 · 43 Comments

Drew is currently sharing an apartment in Taiwan with three roommates. One day, this note appeared on the door of the bathroom, directly facing the toilet. Says Drew: “I contemplate its meaning like a Zen haiku.”

What is Toilet love? Love: Delicious Tissues Love: Great Pee Hate: Disgust Phone Hate: Terrible Hair Love: Yummy Poo

related: My German roommate

Tags: Clearly a non-native English speaker · clip art catastrophe · roommates · toilet · WTF?

How many roommates does it take to change a light bulb?

April 14th, 2013 · 65 Comments

It’s stuff like this that makes me remember why I live alone…

How many Marks and Kirks does it take to change a lightbulb? Answer: It takes Will and Jenni. How many Wills and Jennis does it take to buy household items (ex: Toilet Paper/paper towels/dish soap/chips/soda/lightbulbs/trash bags/etc)? Answer? None, because Mark buys all that stuff with money from his own pocket. Maybe if Will and Jenni spent more money on others, rather than just on themselves, this kind of thing wouldn't happen.

related: The Toilet Paper Manifesto

Tags: Facebook · oh snap · roommates

Paranoid much?

April 3rd, 2013 · 90 Comments

Our submitter in Texas said she found the first note “while trying to rearrange a kitchen cabinet that is completely dominated by my roommate’s freakishly large collection of stale old teas.” (A coffee person herself, she’s never “borrowed” any.) But the best part, she says? “This lead me to poke around the apartment and uncover several similar notes. Cheers, roomie!”

Like LITERALLY ALL OF MY FOOD, this, too is not for sharing. Ask first!

Buy your own rice, for f-ck's sake!

You have no reason to be in this drawer. buy your own eye serum; we talked about this.

related: My duh-runk roommate

Tags: roommates · stealing · Texas

A call for ceasefire in the Post-it Note Wars

January 29th, 2013 · 35 Comments

Could one final Sticky-Note Bomb be enough to put an end to months of guerilla-style passive-aggression?

Next time you have a problem with me skip the Post-it and fucking ask. Thank you. We will not have this prob again.

related: The Post-It Wars

Tags: blitzkrieg approach · North Carolina · roommates

Duh-runk

January 20th, 2013 · 26 Comments

Our submitter, Steffany, says she found this abandoned burrito in the microwave and set it on the table. When she woke up the next morning, she says, “my roommate had left me this a bitchy note…so I left one for her.”

My food is NOT your food. don't eat it. duh.  [response] You left this in the microwave when you were drunk, idiot.

related: Haterade on the rocks, with a twist

Tags: college life · drizzunk · food · Kansas · microwave · Oops? · roommates

A message for our former housemate

December 18th, 2012 · 19 Comments

This could be a hint that your former housemates have grown weary of you treating their home as a rent-free walk-in closet. (Admits our submitter: “If I’d had my way, it’d be on the sidewalk with a ‘free stuff’ sign.)

St. Vincent DePauls 'MOVE THIS SHIT' Sale

Tags: Australia · money · moving/not moving · roommates

Have your people call my people.

November 6th, 2012 · 34 Comments

Writes our submitter in Canada: “Of the 12 people living the house, only three do any sort of cleaning or washing up. This was the result of several months of accumulated angst.”

Dear household, I am suck of you discusting [sic] c*nts not washing up after your selfs [sic] you have one day to learn before you find your dirty dishes in bed with you. This includes pots, pans, cups, and tea pots. If you have a problem with that I am happy to discuss. Sincerely, Haarlem  Haarlem, I like the way you think, let's discuss this further. Get your people to call my people and we'll do lunch. Love, Ben

related: I did the dishes. Where’s my cookie?

Tags: Canada · cleaning · dishes · not-so-veiled threats · rebuttals · roommates · runaway run-on sentences · smartass · spelling and grammar police