Entries Tagged as 'roommates'

Dirty birds

March 12th, 2014 · 4 Comments

What’s tackier than a pimp cup crusted in rhinestones? How bout a pimp cup crusted in last weekend’s purple drank?

This cup is not Queen it's dirty please wash

(Thanks, CharChar!)

related: That’s punny

 

Tags: dishes · roommates

This is my own private domicile and I will not be harassed…bitch!

January 21st, 2014 · 54 Comments

“Craigslist can be a shifty place to find a room to rent,” writes Iris in Portland, Oregon, who speaks from experience. “I found a beautiful house renting from a 40-something professional,” but shortly after moving in, things got weird. (Like, meth-fueled mood swings weird.)

“One night,” Iris says, “he decided to take EVERYTHING out of the kitchen, leaving not even so much as a plastic fork. The next day, everything was put back with this note taped to the inside of the fridge. This is brain on drugs, people!”

You MAY eat my food and/or use my housewares if: 1) You are appreciative - silently appreciative is ok, even if just *slightly* appreciative. 2) If doing so tempers your anger towards me even a tiny bit.

related: You slam, I steal.

Tags: roommates

Neat freaks on speed

December 17th, 2013 · 128 Comments

Our submitter in Boston says she found this note on the kitchen counter “after my evil roommate abused some Adderall and stayed up cleaning, organizing, and generally banging around till an obscene hour.”

I am so sorry that I cleaned the entire house again. I am also sorry for doing everybody's dishes + cleaning up after their dishes. Have fun trashing the entire apartment. Especially since you have never been loud :)

Adds our submitter: “I can’t wait until the day when I live alone.”

related: The patron(izing) saint of roommates

Tags: Boston · cleaning · mean girls · roommates · smiley · thanks (but not really)

Not cool, dudebro

November 7th, 2013 · 104 Comments

The only think Derek — I’m sorry, “Dman” — had to say about this note was, “i live with some girls, and one is pretty funny.” Something tells that “funny ha ha” isn’t what comes to his roommates’ minds when mopping up Derek’s puddles of urine.

Derek, Peeing IN the toilet bowl is a non-negotiable part of having indoor plumbing; if you don't like aiming, go outside.

related: The Piddler on the Roof

Tags: actually totally reasonable · most popular notes of 2013 · New York · piss · roommates

The coward’s way out of a roommate break-up

October 20th, 2013 · 77 Comments

Writes Megan in Canada: “Found this in my room one night. No warning, no talk. Classy and cowardly.”

Megan, I don't think it is working out between the two of us. I think its time you find a new place. I don't want to have any hard feelings. Carole

related: Trading up

Tags: Canada · moving/not moving · roommates

I’m detecting a foul odor coming from your general direction.

October 10th, 2013 · 204 Comments

Basic hygiene: Sadly, one of those things that some people make it to college without learning…until they end up with a bio major for a roommate.

I'm detecting foul body odor coming from your bed sheets and closet. Due to the humidity, age, and overall neglect of the Howell building, there are a lot of bacteria and they function at a significantly higher rate than in most other structures. The bacteria feed on human excretions and other easy food sources. These are but are not limited to sebaceous and apocrine gland secretions, actual food, fecal residues from farting, etc. As you may or may not be aware of, the bacteria that metabolizing these substances are odor causing. Since we are paying in excess of $2000.00 for these rooms per semester, cooperation to ensure a livable room and satisfactory cohabitation is a very high priority. I pay out-of-pocket by myself, so I'm resentful that the room almost always falls short in cleanliness in appearance or odor. This smell is not from room humidity, end of story. To remedy this problem, take the following steps...

related: This room is protected by the Constitution!

Tags: college life · hygiene · It's science! · most popular notes of 2013 · odor · roommates · TL;DR

Have you paid your rent this month?

September 30th, 2013 · 24 Comments

Lauren in Brooklyn says that when she asked her roommate, Josh, for the rent, “he gave me kind of a blank stare, but agreed to tape it to the fridge.” Instead, she got this:

Unable to pay rent. Moving out today. Sorry. Josh

Meanwhile, Oscar spotted this hand-painted masterpiece in the Fremont neighborhood of Seattle:

BOB PAY YOUR RENT

related: A message for our former housemate

Tags: money · roommates

Humbleshagbrag

August 4th, 2013 · 68 Comments

Writes James in Newcastle, England: “This weekend my girlfriend, who lives 180 miles away, came to visit me. As you would expect, we got up to the horizontal shuffle. In the morning this note was passed under my door. I am thinking of having it framed.”

I'm sorry your sexual adventures are so un-frequent that you have to let the whole house know about it.

related: Your sexy schoolgirl girlfriend is frightening the kittens

Tags: roommates · sex sex sex · U.K.

Oh, gaufre…yourself

July 29th, 2013 · 49 Comments

Maureen is the first to admit that when she studied abroad in Belgium, she was not the best of roommates (coming home intoxicated at 4 a.m. several times a week, an awkward run-in with a boyfriend, that kind of thing.) And yet, over the course of many months, her Belgian roommate never once complained.

One night, Maureen came home to find her roommate’s possessions neatly packed up in boxes. Before she had a chance to talk to her, everything — save this note — was gone, which Maureen interprets as “a not so subtle way of telling me she never wants to see me again.” (I’d say that’s a pretty safe bet.)

Dear Maureen, As you probably have noticed, I'm leaving. I wish you a happy and joyful life. Good bye, Andrea

related: Would you mind moving out?

Tags: Belgium · moving/not moving · painfully polite · roommates

Not cool, man. Not cool.

July 15th, 2013 · 76 Comments

Explains our submitter in Maryland: “Housemate is pregnant. She doesn’t like it when we leave the AC on.” (Ya think?)

I will straight up MURDER the next person who uses "Cool" and "Fan" together. STOP IT!

related: The womb that would birth a thousand excuses

Tags: die bitch die · Maryland · preggers · roommates · temperature