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Entries Tagged as 'roommates'

Trash talk

April 27th, 2010 · 93 Comments

I’m sure these ladies thank their lucky stars every day that they have each other as roommates. Wouldn’t you?


related: Your trash stinks. Grow up, thanks.

Tags: apostrophe abuse · college life · garbage · mean girls · Orlando · roommates · that's disgusting · whiteboard

Passive-Aggressive Kitchen-Sink Poetry

April 23rd, 2010 · 116 Comments

So, which of these cutesy little rhymes is least likely to make you stab yourself in the eye?

Exhibit a) from an office break room in Atlanta, Georgia?

Their Sink, My Sink, Your Sink It's against our wishes if you soak your dishes cause the sink's not a soaking place. Quick! Scrub 'em clean-make 'em really gleam. Watch a 'thank you!' smile appear on every face. So don't walk away- don't soak it- just clean it! (Wash it right now! You can finish in a minute!) Cause it's not just your sink, it's their sink and my sink. Please be considerate.  Don't clutter the sink by leaving your items to soak. THANK YOU!

Exhibit b) from a college dorm suite in Winston-Salem, North Carolina?

A Poem  Wash your dishes It's not that hard You weren't born in a barn Or a stable, or a yard  The sink is too small To have dishes build up It's really not complicated  To wash a small cup  Your housemates aren't your servants Or your keepers, or your mothers Those who wash their own things Needn't worry about the others  When there's only one of something Please keep that in your mind In the sink and dirty Makes things really hard to find  We know we love each other That's nothing to deny So wash your freaking dishes Or I'll stab you in the eye :)

Or — smiley-face-free! — exhibit c) from a share house full of frat boys in Los Angeles?

Please be a dear and do your dishes here for if you do not, the house will be wrought with people dismayed by the mass that's displayed and hence are not able  to dine at the table for lack of clean wishes  restricts their good wishes

Still there? If so, you probably need a palate-cleanser after all those cringe-worthy couplets, so I’ll leave you with this delicate haiku from an office in Washington, D.C.

Soaking Cup Haiku  Dried flecks of cat food Circling the rim of the cup Oh - it's your oatmeal.

related: Scatological Poetry Slam

Tags: Atlanta · clip art catastrophe · college life · D.C. · dishes · office · pure poetry · rainbow-colored · roommates · smiley · TL;DR · Winston-Salem

A foreign policy allegory?

January 24th, 2010 · 86 Comments

The long arm of Uncle Sam has extended all the way up to this roommate squabble in Peterborough, Ontario.

“The note on the right,” our submitter says, “is is written by a roommate who (as you can see) does not recognize the hypocrisy of calling someone out for being passive-aggressive in her own passive-aggressive note.”

Yo, Uncle Sam: Do not try to dictate my actions to me.

related: Are you proud to be an American?

Tags: Canada · Ontario · rebuttals · roommates · toilet

Let the rest of us eat cake.

January 12th, 2010 · 190 Comments

“My roommate in college was allergic to everything,” says Casey in Watsonville, California — and she talked about it ad nauseam. “For her birthday sophomore year, we went to buy her a cake but of course she was allergic to everything good. So in the end, I just got a cake I liked and we bought her some crappy vegan thing that wouldn’t make her break out.”

Sorry you can't eat this! Happy Birthday Kim

(The cake, Casey says, was “delicious.”)

related: “I don’t need a birthday cake,” I said.

extra credit:

Tags: birthday · cake · mean girls · non-apology apology · roommates

Happy Boxing Day from Passive-Aggressive Notes!

December 26th, 2009 · 44 Comments

Now, if you wouldn’t mind taking a moment out of your busy schedule of sport and/or shopping to bestow a bit of charity on those you live with?

This is a passive-aggressive note from your kitchen buddy Colin! Don't leave your disgusting food particles in the sink. That is what the trash can is for. Cheers.

(Cheers to our submitter Victoria, her mates at Oxford, and their disgusting flatties.)

related: ceci n’est pas une note passif-agressif

Tags: meta · roommates · that's disgusting · U.K.

Deny a man his web comics? How dare you.

December 3rd, 2009 · 218 Comments

Heather in Indianapolis is the kind of gal who helps out a pal who’s down on his luck. So when her marginally employed friend needed a place to crash while he got back on his feet, she let Greg live in her house and help himself to her food and other belongings, like her laptop, “pretty much rent-free,” for three months.

One day, after several hours spent trying to get rid of all the spyware on her computer  — thanks to all the porn sites she found in the browser history — she turned on parental controls. (A lil’ passive-aggressive? Maybe.) Then, when she forgot to log off one day, Greg removed them.

When Heather figured this out (after being bombarded by spyware once again) she added the parental controls back. And Greg — instead of saying something like, “Hey, did you realize those settings block stuff like Google and Careerbuilder?” — left her this charming note.

“According to this note,” Heather says, “in addition to all the horrible things I’ve done such as give him a place to live, let him eat my food, give him breaks on rent for months at a time and put up with his laziness, carelessness and filth, I have also DENIED HIM A SOCIAL LIFE! OMG!”

Deny a man his web comics? How dare you.

UPDATE: The back of the note!

In other words, you suck, and i should probably move out anyway!

Shoshana, it looks like you have some competition.

related: WoW, indeed.

Tags: frenemies · guilt trip · Indianapolis · martyr complex · moving/not moving · not cool · p.s. · roommates

All that’s missing is a smiley face and an xoxo

November 8th, 2009 · 90 Comments

“After being kicked out of the apartment for numerous horrible acts,” says S. in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, “Our roommate for the summer sent us this with her last rent check…which was later edited a bit by one angry roommate.” S. leaves us to wonder exactly what kinds of “horrible acts” were committed by K., but I’m going to assume they were pretty “atroecious.”

First, I would like to apologize

related: the patron(izing) saint of roommates

Tags: non-apology apology · roommates · South Dakota