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Entries Tagged as 'roommates'

The sink half-empty

September 4th, 2008 · 66 Comments

Our anonymous submitter sneakily snapped a photo of the whiteboard at a friend’s house in Urbana, Illinois.

Guys, can we stop leaving dishes on the edge of the sink + just put them in the sink or better yet in the dishwasher?

related: Oh sweetie, I love it when you talk dirty!

Tags: dishes · dishwasher · excessive underlining · Illinois · rebuttals · roommates · signed with love · Urbana · whiteboard

So, you’ve decided to go out

August 25th, 2008 · 140 Comments

Last year, Emily in Canterbury, England lived in a house with six other roommates — two guys downstairs, five girls upstairs. As is wont to happen in such circumstances, “we were originally all really good mates, but relationships deteriorated as the year went on,” Emily says — “the boys thought the girls were too messy!”

One source of flatmate friction, Emily says, was the habit a couple of the girls had of forgetting their keys when they went out clubbing…and then pounding on the front door at 3 a.m., raving drunk, until one of the guys let them in.

The low point came when one of the guys got woken up by an angry taxi driver rapping on his window (after one of the girls had tossed him 50p and run upstairs). Emily says this note appeared soon after.

"So, you've decided to go out": A short story

related: The two-word compromise you’re looking for: zip wire

Tags: bullet points · drizzunk · roommates · U.K.

Sorry, I’ve been sharing the olive oil with the squirrels

August 19th, 2008 · 176 Comments

Our anonymous submitter in Takoma Park, Maryland says her roommate is constantly leaving little post-its and e-mails for the other roommates, but  I think these two have a bit of yum-o synchronicity.

Hi all, If you are in the habit of sharing our extra virgin olive oil, it is your turn to buy some.... if not, well, I guess I'm out of olive oil.

re: bread in trash — Is there any reason not to feed to squirrels, compost, or even eat this bread?

related: The first thing I did when I woke up

Tags: e-mail · food · Maryland · roommates · Takoma Park · thanks (but not really) · The Earth

The two-word compromise you’re looking for: zip wire

August 3rd, 2008 · 182 Comments

An anonymous submitter in Ann Arbor, Michigan received this e-mail from a guy who just moved into her co-op (“basically a co-ed frat house”) for the rest of the summer. “We’ve tried to reason with him,” she says, to no avail. “When asked why he has to get up so early, he says, ‘I have important things to do in the morning,’ and that’s it.”

the two-word compromise you're looking for: zip wire

The even bigger mystery? Wonders our submitter: “Why, if he needs complete silence at night, did he move in with 16 other college kids on summer break?”

related: there will come soft pains

Tags: and that's an order · college life · drizzunk · e-mail · Michigan · noise · questionable logic · roommates · sleeping · spelling and grammar police · thanks (but not really)

Bleak House

July 31st, 2008 · 219 Comments

“A few years back I was living in a halfway house in Canberra where theft from the communal kitchen was a common problem,” writes Alex in Australia. “One morning we woke to discover that the fridge had gone missing.” (The coffee in question was stolen from a cupboard, but apparently the owner thought removing the fridge was the best form of attack.)


The fridge incident went unresolved for many months, Alex says, because none of the residents could be bothered to move it back inside…and nobody had $3 to spare. In fact, he says, no one ever seemed all too concerned about the whole thing, explaining, “because we spent most of our money on vice, we had no food to put in the fridge anyway.”

Eventually (long afterAlex moved out) the fridge was declared a traffic hazard, and a charity took it away.

related: Um, Rene Hall?

Tags: actions speak louder · Australia · Canberra · CAPS LOCK · fridge · money · questionable logic · roommates · stealing · You call that punctuation? · you know who you are

Franger al fresco

July 26th, 2008 · 118 Comments

Geetha in Sydney says this note appeared in the shared dining room the day after the city’s gay Mardi Gras. The best part? “A few people admitted the condom might be theirs, but nobody would take credit for the note.”

To the owner of this condom, the backyard is no place for the use of such things. Please use rooms provided. :)

related: Dearest roommate

Tags: roommates · sex sex sex · smiley · Sydney · visual aids

There will come soft pains

July 7th, 2008 · 239 Comments

This bit of poetry is brought to us by Alex in Vancouver, an innocent observer on the scene.

Words cannot express how thankful I am for waking me up this morning. I forgot to set my alarm and would have slept in until at least ten otherwise. How did you know that I really wanted to get up at five-thirty? Do either of you have ESP? If so, you should definitely make use of your talent. Also, how did you know that I had grown tired of the peaceful sound of the rain? I haven't told anyone. Listening to you argue about how drunk Jim was, making food loudly, running around the house, and crinkling a plastic wrapper for what may have been an hour completely pushed the sound of rain from my ears! Huzzah! If only you were around now, the damned rain is back and the fridge isn't loud enough. So again, many thanks to you both for a most wonderful pre-dawn.

Tags: drizzunk · noise · roommates · sarcasm · sleeping · thanks (but not really) · Vancouver

An official declaration of the silent treatment

July 1st, 2008 · 354 Comments

Nadia received this letter from her boyfriend’s cousin, Amy, who recently relocated with her boyfriend from Saskatoon to Victoria, B.C…and have been shacking up with Nadia and her boyfriend even since. Over the past month, roomie relations have become a bit strained, to say the least.

“We had to send a stray cat she was harboring to a friend’s house temporarily (my allergies were killing me),” Nadia says, and Amy proceeded to pout for three days straight. A minor-blow out ensued, which was then followed by this untitled composition. Nadia and her boyfriend are scheduled to move out on Wednesday.

This is to notify you that I wish to NOT be on speaking terms with you.

Adds Nadia: “A friend of mine (a B.A. in professional writing and linguistics) and I (a high school science and math teacher with a zoology degree and a B.Ed.) corrected all of the mistakes in the letter.” Then, fighting ire with ire, they posted it on the fridge.

Despite the poor quality of this piece, I submitted it to

related: Nice move

Tags: "helpful" advice · Canada · family · p.s. · roommates · spelling and grammar police · TL;DR

In daylights? In sunsets? In midnights? In posts on Facebook?

June 29th, 2008 · 140 Comments

Writes an anonymous social networker in Gainesville, Florida: “This guy and his (ex) roommate are friends of mine on Facebook, and they’ve been bickering back and forth for months now, airing their grievances for everyone to see.”

The girl eventually moved out, our submitter says, but it seems like maybe — just maybe — she left some unfinished business behind.

Kat refuses to pay the rent, and is probably a bad person for it.

About me: I need Kat to pay the rent.

Seriously, though, you need to pay the rent.

An open letter to my strangely missing box of couscous

related: Thou shalt honor thy Facebook newsfeed, and keep it holy

Tags: Facebook · money · public shaming · roommates · saga · stealing

Three things your health teacher didn’t tell you about herpes

June 18th, 2008 · 109 Comments

(A public disservice announcement)

1. From Portland, Oregon…

FYI - a recent study at Harvard Medical School linked a rare, disfiguring and painful form of genital herpes to leaving dirty dishes in the sink. Be careful out there.

2. From Williamsburg, Virginia…

Stealing ice cream gives you herpes. :)

3. From Miami, Florida…

Surgeon's General Warning Entering Starbucks now greatly increases your chance of contracting herpes.

related: Come get some

extra credit: Herpes: it’s got New York by the balls []

Tags: college life · FYI · Miami · not-so-veiled threats · now that's not true · Portland · roommates · smiley · Starbucks · stealing · Virginia · warning · whiteboard · Williamsburg