Entries Tagged as 'roommates'

Through a glass bowl, darkly

February 9th, 2008 · 53 Comments

Cate in Columbus went out of town for a night, and sadly, her absence was enough to provoke her betta fish (Pope Shaivo the Third) to jump out of his bowl and end it all. Meanwhile,Cate says her roommates, apparently unwise to the suicidal tendencies of bettas, “thought I had placed it on my desk and just left it there!”

Cate (fish killer),  We would really appreciate it if you would get your dead fish off the desk + give it a proper burial. Your roommates!

related: Those hamsters were shivering, not dancing

Tags: Columbus · fish · roommates

Landmine in my bloodline

February 8th, 2008 · 110 Comments

Nothing could have prepared Lauren in Oakland for the passive-aggressive avalanche that awaited her the other day at her new apartment. She calls the experience of finding the notes totally surreal. “It keeps playing back in slow motion in my mind, from the second I saw the first one hanging over the threshold to my absolute horror and delight at finding an eleventh one hours later on the bathroom door.” Here’s the theme park version!

“I’m not sure anything in particular prompted it,” Lauren says, “but I live, apparently, in some kind of alternate dimension where full-grown adults believe in chore-wheels, so it could’ve been anything — but certainly not ELEVEN things to correspond with the number of found notes. Then again, I’m not a timebomb waiting to explode, so how would I know?”

related: recipe for roommate discord

Tags: blitzkrieg approach · cleaning · ellipses-crazed · Oakland · roommates · spelling and grammar police

A friend of a friend is our enemy

February 7th, 2008 · 83 Comments

Tina is Los Angeles didn’t have any problem with her roommate‘s friend couchsurfing at their apartment for a month, but both she and her roomie started to get irked when the friend started inviting other friends to stay over — and then kept doing it, even after the roomie expressly asked her not to.

“The first friend we encountered killed one of my fish and put gum in my aquarium,” Tina says. When another friend-of-a-friend started “subtly and sarcastically deriding” their taste in fashion/entertainment/blah blah blah…well, the roommates decided enough was enough.

NOTE: Because of the discomfort associated with Lana, we (the residents of 305) have agreed that the best course of action is to NOT ALLOW LANA BACK INTO THE APARTMENT. This is NON-NEGOTIABLE. Her personal effects may be retreived [sic] by an approved person (Ashley). If the aforementioned is violated, law enforcement will be called to mediate the situation. Best wishes

related: Some suggestions for the comfort of your guest

Tags: excessive underlining · guests · Los Angeles · not-so-veiled threats · pleasantries as afterthought · roommates

Roommate fumes; Unilever marketing execs rejoice

February 3rd, 2008 · 66 Comments

Curse as much as you want, dude: you’re still bitching about body wash. (Personally, that’s what I’d call a gamekiller.)

Whoever keeps using my fucking shower gel and drinking my fucking beer needs to fucking replace them!!! -Tom

related: I swear this isn’t some sort of stealth viral marketing campaign

Tags: beer · Brooklyn · fuck fuckity fuck fuck · New York · roommates · stealing · whiteboard

Crying over sour milk

January 29th, 2008 · 127 Comments

Ashley in Chicago says her roommates are the king and queen of passive-aggressive notes. (“If they ever found this site, they’d think it was a self help group,” she says.) The latest example:

Ashley’s still fuming over this one. “I mean, come on. Just throw it away yourself! You’re probably exerting more energy writing the email and stressing about it,” she says. “And why do you think I’ve been spending so much time at my boyfriend’s anyway?”

Tags: Chicago · cleaning · fridge · roommates · Would you mind?

It always comes down to the toilet paper.

January 16th, 2008 · 69 Comments

Our anonymous submitter received this note after playing host to his friend’s band. In his defense, he says, “the house was not messy.” and, besides, “I never leave him notes when I do normal household chores like emptying the dishwasher and taking the trash out.”

I cleaned the kitchen, emptied the dishwasher, and took out the trash. I would appreciate if you clean my with bathroom which got purely abused by your friends.

Adds our submitter: “Oh, and he can’t count — it was seven guys.” (Quite a Michelle-esque touch, no?)

related: Martyr complex much?

Tags: band · bathroom · paper product fairy · roommates · that's disgusting · toilet paper

When peevish college girls attack!

January 10th, 2008 · 105 Comments

When Julie in Elkhart, Indiana saw this note from her roommate, Molly…

Molly's Pet Peive [sic]: Drippy Faucets. Please turn them off completely when you are done. Thanks

…she decided it was time to go on the offensive.

Julie's pet peeve: spelling errors! If you want me to take you seriously, make an effort :)

Then came the counter attack…

Molly's 2nd pet peeve: Having to tell ppl to turn the facet [sic] off in the first place

…and then Julie photographed the exchange and sent it to us.

When peevish college girls attack!

Game, set, match.

related: I know where she lives

Tags: awk abbrev · Indiana · most popular notes of 2008 · note wars · oh snap · roommates · smiley · spelling and grammar police

Is nothing sacred?

January 5th, 2008 · 139 Comments

Poor Chase.

This was my brand new toorthbrush, given to me, special by the dentist because I brush my gums toohard. It has softer bristles than you can buy in the sotre. Thanks a lot "whoever!" Enjoy the toothbrush! I told you writing my name wouldn't change anything!

related: WoW, indeed

Tags: bathroom · CAPS LOCK · hygiene · New Jersey · roommates · thanks (but not really)

Get your own :)

December 9th, 2007 · 82 Comments

Individual cheese pizza with chicken, bacon, sun-dried tomato and feta cheese plus a side salad: $6.31. Addressing your note “to whom it may concern” when you only have one roommate? (You know the rest.)

get your own :)

(Thanks to Todd in Stillwater, Oklahoma for snapping the photo.)

related: you left evidence

Tags: college life · excessive underlining · Oklahoma · pizza · pleasantries as afterthought · roommates · smiley

Apology denied

November 23rd, 2007 · 110 Comments

Our anonymous submitter in California was having some issues with her roommates not washing their dishes. “It got so bad that I picked up what I thought was a black bowl…only to find it was white and covered in ants,” she says. When asked to clean up after themselves, the roommates responded with a note calling her a bitch. Then came this one — accompanied by someone peeing in her shampoo.

Adds our submitter: “I moved out not too long after that.”

I don't owe you an apology. I suggest you stop whining and get over it.

related: This makes me want to scream

Tags: actions speak louder · California · dishes · excessive underlining · get over it · more aggressive than passive · piss · roommates · whiteboard