Entries Tagged as 'roommates'

Passive-aggressive free-for-all

July 8th, 2007 · 78 Comments

During his fourth year of college, Andrew from Waterloo says he lived with some seriously passive-aggressive roommates. The following three notes all went up within a 48-hour period:

NOT for household use

very unsanitary (2 of 4)

VERY unsanitary (3 of 4)

Andrew couldn’t resist adding one of his own…

ooh! (4 of 4)

(It was promptly taken down.)

related: The post-it wars


Tags: college life · dishes · excessive underlining · rebuttals · roommates · stealing · that's unsanitary · Waterloo

How not to housetrain a roommate

July 2nd, 2007 · 40 Comments

Smileys can be terrifying.

how not to housetrain a roommate

(Submitted by Simon in Richmond, Virginia.)

Tags: cleaning · excessive underlining · Richmond · roommates · smiley · whiteboard

We ALL live here

June 26th, 2007 · 91 Comments

Explains James, “My cool roommate tries to do something nice for the house, and then jerk roommate writes this.”

In the future, please consult with us before making house purchases. We ALL live here. Thx.

Seriously, Team Cormac all the way.

Tags: CAPS LOCK · excessive underlining · just an asshole · lighting · money · roommates · thx · whiteboard

Hendrix is the cat

June 21st, 2007 · 43 Comments

No lols from this feline — just some lovely passive voice!

Our house is dirty. Cleaning needs to be done. Thanx, Hendrix

(Thanx to Megan in Michigan for submitting.)

related: Does the floor have the capability of sweeping itself?

 

Tags: cats · cleaning · Michigan · passive voice · roommates · signed with love · whiteboard

Killer cookie dough

June 20th, 2007 · 33 Comments

Writes Lauren in Kansas: “My roommate is known for her notes towards me and our other roommate. We never touch each other’s food as is, but I guess she felt the need to threaten us to keep it that way. Inside the box? A ton of containers of frozen cookie dough.”

DO NOT EAT - if you do...you will DIE!! <3 Lacy

Sadly, Lacey’s earlier notes to Lauren and her roommates went unrecorded. Lauren’s personal favorite:

If you’re hot run around naked
If you’re cold put on sweatshirts
Do NOT touch the heater
Love, Lacey

Tags: die bitch die · exclamation-point happy!!!! · food · Kansas · not-so-veiled threats · roommates · signed with love · stealing

Some suggestions for the comfort of your guest

June 19th, 2007 · 55 Comments

First, I’ll let Stephanie in Los Angeles explain the context for this one: “After a night of drinking, I let a friend of mine crash with me at my apartment. This friend, who does have her own apartment in the city, left with me in the morning, yet I still received this e-mail from my roommate later that day. This roommate hasn’t spoken to me in three months and communicates only in email.”

From: <redacted>@aol.com
To: <redacted>@hotmail.com
Subject: Guest
Date: Fri, 08 Jun 2007 16:00:31 -0400

Stephanie:

I assume Whitney is currently visiting. I apologize, but must say that in the situation you and I are currently in, I do not feel comfortable with you having a guest stay in our apartment while you are not present. But more so and more importantly, I do not feel comfortable with you having a guest in our apartment while I am home and you are not.

As I currently have summer hours at work, I will be home for the day at 2pm today. would like to respectfully request that you suggest to your guest that she go sightseeing and/or exploring the city from that time until the time you are to return from work.

As I have done my best to avoid the apartment for the last many months, you have had ample time to feel comfortable in our apartment without me being there. For the good majority of the last few months, the only time I ever have without you in the apartment is while you are at work. Now, with your friend there, I do not even have that. As it is only for today, while you are at work, I would really appreciate your friend not being in the apartment when I am and you are not.

Please understand that I am not trying to be mean, malicious, rude, vindictive or anything of the sort. I simply would like to enjoy some time alone in my own apartment without feeling uncomfortable at the presence of a guest of yours given the light of our current situation. If you’d like, I can give you some suggestions of places to have her visit during the day such as the Grove, Hollywood Blvd., the beach in Santa Monica, Venice, etc.

I’m sure on a beautiful day like today that she does not just want to lay in an apartment anyway. So if you already have her out roaming the city until you return from work, please disregard this email and thank
you immensely for your consideration.

-Angie

ps- could you please let me know how long Whitney is planning on
staying so I know if I will have to deal with this situation again next
week?? Thank you.

Adds Stephanie: “I just moved out of that apartment, and towards the end of my moveout day this roommate took some of my belongings and “donated” them to Goodwill. She said she didn’t think I needed them anymore.”

Tags: "helpful" advice · e-mail · Los Angeles · p.s. · roommates

Please help! My roommate is a passive-aggressive!

June 19th, 2007 · 26 Comments

“Apparently I was violating some building rules that annoyed my roommate,” says Alex in Waterloo, Ontario. “Rather than asking me in person, he wrote this on our front door for all to see.”

Please help! I am an imbecile! I am completely oblivious to others and have no regard for rules! Need help. (Will S.D. for money)

Tags: Canada · college life · roommates · Waterloo

May the sanctity of the sink prevail!!

June 14th, 2007 · 93 Comments

My esteemed housemates, I have some unfortunate news to report. It appears that our ongoing experiment to see if the dishes would indeed wash themselves has ended and ultimately failed.

(From Midgy in Madison, Wisconsin.)

related: With 17 roommates, it could have been worse

Tags: CAPS LOCK · dishes · not-so-veiled threats · p.s. · rhetorical question · roommates · sarcasm · spelling and grammar police · TL;DR · Wisconsin

Letter from a narcotic

June 12th, 2007 · 52 Comments

This ranks right up there with the notice from an aspiring personal-injury lawyer as one of my favorite roommate notes of all time.

Gillian in Albany, New York points out that the malapropism here (“I am the narcotic one”) was actually deliciously appropriate, because “she cleaned exactly like cocaine.”

Obviously things have been weird with us lately and I have a hard time talking to us and I don't know the right way to approach you or how to say what I want to say to you without hopefully not hurting your feelings. But we're both mature individuals, so I figured the best way for me to communicate what I have to say to you would be through a letter.

related: This room is protected by the Constitution

Tags: cleaning · college life · fun with malapropisms · garbage · money · New York · roommates · runaway run-on sentences

$10 each

June 11th, 2007 · 23 Comments

Says Tyler in Boston: “My roommate stopped talking to me after the first month of living together and only communicated via whiteboard.” Or, has his roommate might say, via “whiteboard thing.”

539933351_9729cbef73.jpg

Tags: Boston · cleaning · excessive underlining · money · roommates · whiteboard