Entries Tagged as 'roommates'

How many roommates does it take to change a light bulb?

April 14th, 2013 · 65 Comments

It’s stuff like this that makes me remember why I live alone…

How many Marks and Kirks does it take to change a lightbulb? Answer: It takes Will and Jenni. How many Wills and Jennis does it take to buy household items (ex: Toilet Paper/paper towels/dish soap/chips/soda/lightbulbs/trash bags/etc)? Answer? None, because Mark buys all that stuff with money from his own pocket. Maybe if Will and Jenni spent more money on others, rather than just on themselves, this kind of thing wouldn't happen.

related: The Toilet Paper Manifesto

Tags: Facebook · oh snap · roommates

Paranoid much?

April 3rd, 2013 · 89 Comments

Our submitter in Texas said she found the first note “while trying to rearrange a kitchen cabinet that is completely dominated by my roommate’s freakishly large collection of stale old teas.” (A coffee person herself, she’s never “borrowed” any.) But the best part, she says? “This lead me to poke around the apartment and uncover several similar notes. Cheers, roomie!”

Like LITERALLY ALL OF MY FOOD, this, too is not for sharing. Ask first!

Buy your own rice, for f-ck's sake!

You have no reason to be in this drawer. buy your own eye serum; we talked about this.

related: My duh-runk roommate

Tags: roommates · stealing · Texas

A call for ceasefire in the Post-it Note Wars

January 29th, 2013 · 35 Comments

Could one final Sticky-Note Bomb be enough to put an end to months of guerilla-style passive-aggression?

Next time you have a problem with me skip the Post-it and fucking ask. Thank you. We will not have this prob again.

related: The Post-It Wars

Tags: blitzkrieg approach · North Carolina · roommates

Duh-runk

January 20th, 2013 · 26 Comments

Our submitter, Steffany, says she found this abandoned burrito in the microwave and set it on the table. When she woke up the next morning, she says, “my roommate had left me this a bitchy note…so I left one for her.”

My food is NOT your food. don't eat it. duh.  [response] You left this in the microwave when you were drunk, idiot.

related: Haterade on the rocks, with a twist

Tags: college life · drizzunk · food · Kansas · microwave · most popular notes of 2013 · Oops? · roommates

A message for our former housemate

December 18th, 2012 · 19 Comments

This could be a hint that your former housemates have grown weary of you treating their home as a rent-free walk-in closet. (Admits our submitter: “If I’d had my way, it’d be on the sidewalk with a ‘free stuff’ sign.)

St. Vincent DePauls 'MOVE THIS SHIT' Sale

Tags: Australia · money · moving/not moving · roommates

Have your people call my people.

November 6th, 2012 · 34 Comments

Writes our submitter in Canada: “Of the 12 people living the house, only three do any sort of cleaning or washing up. This was the result of several months of accumulated angst.”

Dear household, I am suck of you discusting [sic] c*nts not washing up after your selfs [sic] you have one day to learn before you find your dirty dishes in bed with you. This includes pots, pans, cups, and tea pots. If you have a problem with that I am happy to discuss. Sincerely, Haarlem  Haarlem, I like the way you think, let's discuss this further. Get your people to call my people and we'll do lunch. Love, Ben

related: I did the dishes. Where’s my cookie?

Tags: Canada · cleaning · dishes · not-so-veiled threats · rebuttals · roommates · runaway run-on sentences · smartass · spelling and grammar police

Sentence structure could use some improvement

October 30th, 2012 · 29 Comments

Several months ago, Kenney in Sydney moved in with some new housemates. Last week, he happened to park in a different spot in the driveway. (“We had been asked to not park in the garage as it was used as a gym/personal trainer studio.”)

“The next morning,” he says, “I found this ‘anonymous’ note — despite having just talked with the person responsible, without any mention of their concern.” By way of a response, Kenney decided to give the note the red pen treatment.

Dear Housemate's Please take under consideration that the parking arragement tonight was not Thought out properly we have a garage that one car could go in & instead Driveway looks like a parking lot please think of all housemate's living under this rood not just yourself Thank you. !  12/28 42% A clean document with some folds, sentence structure could use improvement along with grammar. Would love to discuss your results to improve your persuasive letter writing ability! D+

related: I give your passive-aggressive note a C-

Tags: Australia · most popular notes of 2012 · parking · rebuttals · roommates · spelling and grammar police · Sydney

Everything but the actual kitchen sink

October 22nd, 2012 · 23 Comments

Writes Jocelyn in London: “Since moving into halls for the first year of university, our hygiene skills have gone downhill, to say the least. Finally, one of our roommates cracked and cleaned up the rotting mess…or so we thought.” Instead, he just found a new “dumping ground.”

I needed to wash a mug so I made room in the sink. Please stop using the sink & tops as a dumping ground! Sincerly [sic] Cameron xx

related: May the sanctity of the sink prevail!

Tags: college life · dishes · London · roommates

Some things to know about your new roommate

October 18th, 2012 · 106 Comments

Shortly after he moved out, our submitter in Canada discovered that her ex-roommate had glued a memo for the room’s future occupant inside his bedroom closet — “his final passive-aggressive attempt to get under my skin.”

Caution: Some things to know Her dog stinks up entire house so close your door and get an air freshener. Roommate plays loud music and stays up all night talking on Skype and POF (very annoying) She has a high body temperature and never turns on heat, she will tell you to buy a box heater (annoying) Arguing with her is like boxing a glacier She yells at her dog all the time (annoying as fuck) She has an annoying voice and is a control freak She washes dishes and doesn't take them out of sink (annoying but also just fn weird) Overall, we're dealing with quite the peculiar roommate, good luck!

related: You’re not as bad as everyone warned me you’d be!

Tags: "helpful" advice · Canada · roommates

Signed, The Cat

September 27th, 2012 · 70 Comments

From a house full of roommates in Texas, our submitter calls this “a prime example of ‘dogs have owners, cats have staff.’”

Anna, please clean my vomit. Thanks. —Cat

related: Hendrix is the cat

Tags: cats · cleaning · roommates · vomit