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Entries Tagged as 'roommates'

Meet the World’s Crankiest Roommate

February 9th, 2012 · 231 Comments

If the 21 notes you’ve already posted around the house haven’t made a difference…do you really think the 22nd is going to be the one that finally clicks? Just a thought!

The party stops as soon as you walk in

No one wants to walk in a pool when we're not in a pool

We're not trying to create a big foot

This isn't a closet

We don't want trash in our house

We don't house people who come from the bar

related: The Post-It Wars

Tags: blitzkrieg approach · cleaning · dishes · money · most popular notes of 2012 · noise · Ontario · roommates · smoking

I did the dishes! Where’s my cookie?

December 14th, 2011 · 53 Comments

Explains our submitter in Ohio: “Before leaving for winter break, the chronic dish-neglecting roommate of the house tried her hand at washing dishes for the first time.” Not content to pat herself on the back, she then posted this rationalization for why she shouldn’t have to feel guilty about the dirty dishes she’s left in the sink all year.

You can pretty much guess how that went over with the roomies…

Guess What?? I cleaned the dishes — even the ones that were NOT mine... and guess what again? It did NOT kill me and I did NOT magically transform into your MOTHER. You want to know what it felt like? It felt like a person that lives in this house understanding that her ROOMMATES have been extremely busy recently and she had some extra time to be able to help out. You want to know how much time it took out of my day? About ten minutes!!

related: Because of you, the shower I was looking forward to all day was RUINED!

Tags: Did you know? · dishes · Ohio · roommates · Your mother doesn't...

Sometimes I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion

December 5th, 2011 · 45 Comments

Welcome to the set of Mean Girls: Orlando!

The initial note:

This apartment needs Christmas spirit! Let me know if you want to chip in so we can get decorations! —Steph

And the response…

This apartment needs cleaning spirit! Let me know if you want to help out a[nd] clean up your mess! —Angel

related:  Oh sweetie, I love it when you talk dirty!

Tags: Christmas · cleaning · holiday spirit · nice stationery · Orlando · roommates · sarcasm

Sure, she’s dumb as a box of hair, but…

December 4th, 2011 · 49 Comments

Apparently Meaghan’s roommates weren’t happy with how she disposed of her bang trimmings in the recycling bin. But c’mon, at least she didn’t leave em in the sink or the shower drain, right? Or…maybe she was confused about how the whole “locks of love” thing works? Or…aww, screw it. Can’t you bitches all just get along?

Hey bitch (Meaghan)!  Hair is not recyclable! (I hope your new haircut looks really stupid!) -N & B

related: Dear mother of hair baby…

Tags: hair · heart · Massachusetts · mean girls · recycling · roommates

The Toilet Paper Manifesto

November 14th, 2011 · 90 Comments

When four people share one bathroom, true equity in toilet-paper purchasing is nearly impossible to come by without conflict.

Just take a look at the opening salvo issued at Laura’s apartment in Georgia:

Clearly, you use the bathroom, which means that you use the 12 rolls of toilet paper I bought a week ago. And you bought 4. Really? Is this okay in the eyes of baby Jesus? Equality is important in today's society. Do you know who doesn't like equality? TERRORISTS. TERRORISTS DO NOT LIKE EQUALITY.

…and the first response:

I've started using my own toilet paper. Sorry for any confusion.

Your move, “Scott.”

related: Five approaches to TP maintenance

Tags: college life · Georgia · gloriously redundant · Jesus · p.s. · rebuttals · roommates · signed with love · smartass · toilet paper · visual aids

A bitter butter battle

October 11th, 2011 · 189 Comments

“My two roommates have been locked in a butter war all week,” our submitter in Oregon reports. “One will pull out the butter to let it soften, and as soon as she walks away, the other will put it back in the fridge.”

Although our submitter says she’s made a point of staying out the debate, she spotted this note on her way out the door this morning…

Dear Roomie, Fun Fact: Butter is a dairy, and dairy spoils!! Unless you want to kill us all, Please stop leaving the butter out.

By the time she returned home from class, a second note had appeared as well.

Dear 'Roomie', Fun Fact: Clarified butter has preservatives in it that preclude it from spoiling. Although I enjoy your artistic interpretation of the dairy in question, they wouldn't have been able to eat butter in 12th century Scandinavia if it was fragile enough to spoil over night. There's no need for the butter drawing to look so sad.

Adds our submitter: “I’m pretty sure the butter won’t actually kill me as the pink note says, but I also wonder how long the other roommate spent picking out a font for the printed note. Also: one roommate is a comm major and the other studies history. See if you can guess which is which.”

Dear 'Roomie', Fun Fact: Clarified butter has preservatives in it that preclude it from spoiling. Although I enjoy your artistic interpretation of the dairy in question, they wouldn't have been able to eat butter in 12th century Scandinavia if it was fragile enough to spoil over night. There's no need for the butter drawing to look so sad.

related: Live and not-so-active roommate culture

Tags: butter · college life · food · fun fact · rebuttals · roommates · sad face

The old “wipe & walk” trick

September 21st, 2011 · 117 Comments

Option a) “Hey, Iva, could you buy some TP? We’re out.”

Option b) Several weeks of seething funneled into eight six colored markers’ worth of heart exclamation point smiley THREAT heart heart.

And the winner is…

Dear Iva, I hope you had a nice day!! :) When I moved in, I bought 6 rolls of TP & a giant tissue box. Heather bought 6 more TP rolls & the paper towel box. Unless for some reason you do not shit, pee, or wash your hands, you have used all of those things.  THEY ARE GONE. Please replenish these items by Thursday latest. If you don't, Heath & I will continue buying those things, but we will keep them in our rooms for when WE would like to pee. That sounds really funny and everything but I'M ACTUALLY NOT KIDDING. We appreciate it!! heart heart Bell

Gee, Bell, that IS funny, cuz you really threw me off with that “I hope you had a nice day!! <3 :)” shit. (I’M ACTUALLY KIDDING. I WILL CUT YOU.)

related: One sure sign your roommate situation isn’t working out?

Tags: heart · mean girls · not-so-veiled threats · rainbow-colored · roommates · signed with love · smiley · toilet paper

Now, if we could all just take our own advice…

August 27th, 2011 · 69 Comments

Really, some people are just better off living alone.

Presented in order of appearance:

If you used the last piece, throw this away and put a new roll on.

 If you see the roll done, don't write a note. Just fuckin replace it bitch.

[Roommate 1:] If you see the roll done, don't write a note. Just fuckin replace it bitch. [Roommate 2:] You just did the exact opposite of what you wrote.

related: What’s harder than changing the toilet paper roll?

Tags: most popular notes of 2011 · note wars · roommates · toilet paper

Seven words you CAN say on the box of leftover takeout rice that nobody wanted anyway

July 11th, 2011 · 91 Comments

Writes Randall, of xkcd fame: “This is a box of rice I found in our apartment’s fridge. I’m guessing it belonged to Tedd.”

That extra “d” sure seems to have given Tedd a bit of unresolved rage, huh?


related: How would you feel if I used up all of your “whatever?”

Tags: blitzkrieg approach · food · fuck fuckity fuck fuck · more aggressive than passive · most popular notes of 2011 · roommates · smiley

See, this is why people hate vegans.

July 6th, 2011 · 788 Comments

“When I moved in a year ago, my roommate was an ovo-lacto vegetarian, whereas I was (and still am) an omnivore,” explains our submitter in Brooklyn. “She used to not care about my eating habits, but about four months ago she decided to become a full-blown vegan and has been insufferable since then. Yesterday I went food shopping for myself, and when I came back from work today I found this letter on my bedside table.”

(Yeah, the writing is a little hard to read — just wait for the page to load completely, and then click the images below to enlarge.)

I have to be blunt with you.

Why do you buy SO MUCH meat?

related: Carnivore? Keep being awesome!

Tags: and that's an order · Brooklyn · food · most popular notes of 2011 · roommates · self-righteous vegans · TL;DR · unsolicited feedback