Entries Tagged as 'runaway run-on sentences'
As a Valentine’s Day gift to you all, I present you with this epic love story (which Teddie in Minneapolis discovered pinned to the bulletin board in his apartment building).
Teddie’s love note to this love note: “I love that this person (he? she?) used commas, ellipses, and possibly a semicolon, but no periods. I also love how the all-caps rant in the middle segues into a plea to be Myspace friends again with an offhand ‘anyway.’ Also, what happened to her dad?”
Oh, Charles. You are so SUPER ATTRACTIVE I can hardly help myself. Deseray doesn’t know what’s she missing!
related: perfect for each other
Tags: ex drama · Minneapolis/St. Paul · p.s. · runaway run-on sentences · spelling and grammar police · spurned lover · TL;DR · WTF? · xoxo · You call that punctuation?
Presenting the winner of the creative spelling (and spacing) of the year award, spotted by Rob in the recently-painted elevator of his Brooklyn apartment building. It has a lovely lyric quality to it, no?
related: Your are welcome to our home
Tags: bizarro spacing · Brooklyn · CAPS LOCK · elevator · graffiti · landlords and property managers · most popular notes of 2009 · now that's management · runaway run-on sentences · spelling and grammar police · the po-po · your/you're
This all-staff e-mail is like a fetus-sized version of one of my favorite self-righteous masterpieces. (How this one got buried in my inbox for so long, I have no idea.)
It comes to us courtesy of Jennifer in Chapel Hill, N.C., who notes: “In this instance, ‘local users,’ is everyone in our corporate HQ — including the president, vice presidents, directors, legal counsel, etc., who don’t typically utilize the refrigerator in the staff break room.”
related: It must have been a pretty big bite
extra credit: STFU, Parents
Tags: all-staff e-mail · Moms & Dads · North Carolina · office · office fridge · preggers · runaway run-on sentences · stealing · yogurt
Mara in Minneapolis ( average temperature in January: 12° F/-11° C) says the worst job she’s ever had was at a local thrift store — and not because of the crazy customers and their indiscreet use of the fitting rooms. No, like many workers, the crazy person driving Mara crazy was her boss — the author of the masterpiece below.
Mara says she lasted three weeks before her boss made her so angry that she walked out and never looked back. (No, not even to leave a little surprise behind in the bath—er, fitting room. That’s management-level thinking, folks.)
related: When nature calls
Tags: "helpful" advice · crazy boss · Minneapolis/St. Paul · now that's management · retail hell · runaway run-on sentences · temperature
This ranks right up there with the notice from an aspiring personal-injury lawyer as one of my favorite roommate notes of all time.
Gillian in Albany, New York points out that the malapropism here (“I am the narcotic one”) was actually deliciously appropriate, because “she cleaned exactly like cocaine.”
related: This room is protected by the Constitution
Tags: cleaning · college life · fun with malapropisms · garbage · money · New York · roommates · runaway run-on sentences